AIBU to be astounded at people’s shamelessness?

Lol - that’s a bit of a leap

As you usually so gaslighting?

I didn't say it was the same. Are you usually so sneery?

No they aren’t?!

I’ve had apple phones pretty much since they first came out….. never ever owned a set of apple ear phones!

Yeah that's exactly the same

I had someone loudly whistling out of tune in waitrose today. It was very irritating and made me think of this thread.

Thought of this thread today

Sitting in a courtyard of a bistro (chain bistro) in a city in the south east, woman sits down, youngish (although everyone is young compared to me) nicely turned out, proceeded to have loud fairly long phone calls detailing how you can get diazepam and other medications very easily, cheap flight to Albania, private doctor very cheap, pharmacies very easy to buy from, trailing up and down a stretch of roads somewhere, presumably still Albania, because they dont have an electronic system like the UK so you can buy some in every one or something, asking about the other persons current coke habits, saying she cant care for herself very well but can be a carer for someone else.

Nice.

I don't think the use for of shameless here was to denigrate a young woman. It would apply equally to a boy or man who behaved in this way. It's behaviour which doesn't fall within the acceptable norms. It's not about making her feel ashamed. TBH, I agree with the poster. It's an all too frequent example of how some people have no idea how to behave in a public setting.

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Because they in turn were brought up by inconsiderate twats they see it as fine

It varies, @Dontbeconspicuous, some
people turn the sound down, some get arsey. I don’t get antagonistic though, I am a short, grey haired, middle aged woman, and tbh tend these days to play on that. I’m INCREDIBLY nice about it, all “now I know you won’t have realised how loud it is” and “ooh it’s so nice to have a chance to chat to people isn’t it?” and unrelentingly cheery, and act all confused on those occasions when they do get annoyed. So many people seem to think middle aged women are thick, fine, I will act like I don’t know what they are talking about! It’s entirely a ploy to get them to behave better, like talking to teenagers about the best way to get marks off clothes when asking them to not put their feet in the seats and getting ‘excited’ at them about talking laundry techniques. One day I am sure someone will get properly unpleasant, but so far I’ve managed to judge it ok, and I do avoid the people who genuinely seem unstable. I think the fact that I actually am someone who will happily chat with complete strangers (and often do) might help!

I do what your DH does! If they say anything I just say their behaviour invited it as clearly wasn’t private or just for them 😊

I think staff should tell the visitors to leave and that is a hospital with people trying to rest not a social club

Littering and not wearing headphones comes from the same cunty place

I couldn't agree more. My nephew was recently in hospital after being hit by a car and he had a brain injury which meant he had to sleep to recover. Once he was on a ward, you wouldn't believe the utter ignorance of other families sat there at all times of day/night doing video calls and watching crap on full volume. Like I get it, hospitals are stressful and can be boring if you're waiting around but have some consideration for other people. Makes my blood boil.

I was on a flight with a woman flossing her teeth yesterday it’s gross, mind you she was also last on and barged down with her backpack knocking into people and then practically barged the woman next to me over with her cabin bag in her rush to get off. So so rude.

The only earful I've had from politely asking someone to please use headphones was from an older woman

I was next to a man once who was flossing his teeth with an interdental brush on a train which was gross, ive also seen someone taking their socks and shoes off, and inspecting their feet. Its probably less impactful than watching reels or phone noise which travels further. People a few rows away would have been unaware. That doesnt make it OK, it is still anti-social,gross and unnecessary.
The thing about phone noise is that it isnt like there is no options. Headphones (various styles) are widely available....

Travelling on trains and especially buses will bring you into contact with people playing their music loud, people having phone conversations turned onto speaker-phone, people eating hot food, people putting their bag on the next seat so nobody can sit there, people putting their feet up on the seat opposite them, people having loud unfiltered conversations and many more delights.

I've noticed all of these things are more prevalent now, although it was far from perfect in the past.

The comparison with littering is pretty obvious imho.

First there is the incorrect assumption that “no one will mind if I do this moderately anti-social thing”

Second there is the imposition of your choices on others without their consent.

Noise pollution is so-called for a reason.

Incidentally, it’s worth noting that the brain’s of some people who are neurodiverse, are simply unable to filter out background noise, however hard they try, and it therefore can become distressing to them to have one person in a carriage shouting down a phone, while someone else watches music, while someone else watches a loud film on top of the usual train noises.

One of my DDs has ASD and she wears noise cancelling headphones but she has to take them off to listen to announcements occasionally as she is also a nervous traveller. How about some tolerance for those with autism?

I was in an airport lounge recently and a woman in her 60s/70s was listening to something on her phone without headphones. A youngish man asked her to stop and get a protracted earful for his efforts.

I dont think anyone is hoping for silence on a train. Unusually I'm on a train and im aware of maybe 4 quiet conversations, and some kids playing/laughing a bit more loudly, the only people on screens are wearing (effective) headphones.
All of it imo is quite acceptable , None of it is anywhere near as annoying as people scrolling through reels with volume up, or having a loud convesation On facetime and having to repeat themselves several times.

How is littering even comparable to a little bit of noise on a presumable already noisy journey? That’s an entirely different topic.

Maybe I’m just a more tolerant person and I do appreciate that different things irritate different people. I do agree that consideration and tolerance is something that is lacking in society. Anyway it’s been interesting hearing different points of view but I’m going to leave it there