Page 17 | Update to AIBU to refuse Aunt's fwb claim on her estate.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 2026-04-07T16:52:21+00:00

Posting here because it is where I put the first thread. A brief summery is that my Aunt died and her FWB is trying to say that he is entitled to part of her estate because she had asked me to allow him to stay in a house she had invested in for me. Anyway if you want the full story feel free to read what I put on the first thread. Anyway the main thing is that he is now sueing in the courts. I need a bit of a hand hold please. My lawyers have suggested getting a barristers opinion so I am just waiting for that. I wouldn't even mind if it was possible to just go to mediation but he wants the house for the rest of his life and won't consider anything else. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5505433-aibu-to-refuse-aunts-fwb-claim-on-her-estate?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 09:13

YourOliveBalonz · 28/05/2026 09:03

I’ve only recently found your thread, I’m sorry you’ve had a stressful time of it but how wonderful that you can proceed with IVF regardless - probably better that way than directly linking it to the outcome of this situation.

It sounds like the legal case around your house is already settled (understand you are under advice not to enforce yet but that is not something that will change) and so his claim for dependency based on living in a house you own is weak.

I’m curious about:

whether he was one of the friends she left a smaller gift to in the will
when the will was last updated
if she had time to update the will if she wanted (I.e. did she know she was life-threateningly ill in the months before her death)

All of these questions are linked because they tell a story about how your aunt did not consider him a dependent. A small gift or no gift suggests he was never considered close enough let alone a dependent. A recent will - or the time to change the will if she wanted - shows that she had the opportunity to make provision for him but didn’t. Not something you would do if you considered someone a dependent.

whether he was one of the friends she left a smaller gift to in the will

no gift In the will. He isn't mentioned. It is an old will predating when they reconnected.

when the will was last updated

Ages ago. Probably more than 20 years. It has provision in case I couldn't be executor if I was under 18. I am now in my 30's.

if she had time to update the will if she wanted (I.e. did she know she was life-threateningly ill in the months before her death)

Yes Plenty of time. She knew she was seriously ill for about 6 months. We hoped that she would be able to have an operation but it turned out to not be possible. She knew this and the fact it was probably weeks, months if we were lucky, about 6 weeks before her death. She lost capacity to make those sort of decisions maybe 2 days before her death. She discussed many things in that time with me. He visited her at my house a bit. She made no mention of providing for him, changing her will or anything else. She did say it was nice of him to visit.

OP posts:

PrincessofWills · 28/05/2026 09:04

SummerFate · 07/04/2026 20:03

Exactly. He still thinks you’ll offer him something to get rid of him - and for someone in his situation, I can see why it seems like an appealing strategy. A lot of people would give in and offer a settlement.

Please don’t. Tell him you’ll see him in court. He has no case - do NOT blink first.

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It might be a lot more sensible to pay him off. Litigation is very expensive. I'd offer £8k Part 36 and take it from there.

YourOliveBalonz · 28/05/2026 09:03

I’ve only recently found your thread, I’m sorry you’ve had a stressful time of it but how wonderful that you can proceed with IVF regardless - probably better that way than directly linking it to the outcome of this situation.

It sounds like the legal case around your house is already settled (understand you are under advice not to enforce yet but that is not something that will change) and so his claim for dependency based on living in a house you own is weak.

I’m curious about:

whether he was one of the friends she left a smaller gift to in the will
when the will was last updated
if she had time to update the will if she wanted (I.e. did she know she was life-threateningly ill in the months before her death)

All of these questions are linked because they tell a story about how your aunt did not consider him a dependent. A small gift or no gift suggests he was never considered close enough let alone a dependent. A recent will - or the time to change the will if she wanted - shows that she had the opportunity to make provision for him but didn’t. Not something you would do if you considered someone a dependent.

Northermcharn · 28/05/2026 08:58

SheilaFentiman · 28/05/2026 08:55

OP has explained why she isn’t doing something like this. She already has a court date and has been advised to wait until then.

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Ok..

Eta - it worked for a friend of mine. And I might say - advised to wait by whom? Lawyers? Well that's a shock.. Of course they make no money if Op gets him out without a prolonged court case.

SheilaFentiman · 28/05/2026 08:55

Northermcharn · 28/05/2026 08:51

PS. you get him out properly by changing the locks and boarding it up whilst he's out, he'd be a squatter you see, as it's now your (and sisters) house. There are companies who do this for you. You only need to know when he's not in and they'll do it (in the UK). The law is fcked up and the squatters have civil rights and owners have none. So that would be necessary.

OP has explained why she isn’t doing something like this. She already has a court date and has been advised to wait until then.

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 08:54

godmum56 · 28/05/2026 08:12

am going out the door so haven't time to RTFT sorry. If he is that broke, I am not sure how he can go to court on a civil matter. I was involved in something peripherally the same and it was made very clear to me by the very kind and sensible solicitor that I employed, that I wouldn't find a barrister to take my case unless I could show means to pay. He might be doing no win no fee but even then there has to be a better chance of winning than he seems to have, to find someone to take it on.

I don't know how he has found this solicitor. I half think it might be a friend of a friend thing. I also don't know how he is paying. It is one of the aspects that worries me

OP posts:

Northermcharn · 28/05/2026 08:51

PS. you get him out properly by changing the locks and boarding it up whilst he's out, he'd be a squatter you see, as it's now your (and sisters) house. There are companies who do this for you. You only need to know when he's not in and they'll do it (in the UK). The law is fcked up and the squatters have civil rights and owners have none. So that would be necessary.

Northermcharn · 28/05/2026 08:47

Well your aunt was clever, she didn't marry the grim little fck, so he's entitled to nothing if he's not in her will. If he takes you to court, he'll lose and then have to pay the court costs too. ho ho ho ;)

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 08:46

Viviennemary · 28/05/2026 08:29

I heard of somebody in a similar position through the grapevine. They found it almost impossible to get the person out. How long has he lived there. And did he live there with your aunt like the family home.

No my Aunt lived in her main home. This was a holiday home that she frankly was using to try and avoid inheritance tax for me and my sister.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 08:45

Viviennemary · 28/05/2026 08:31

I see he has only lived there two years. So I agree he doesn't have much of a case.

Yeah this isn't a long term thing.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 08:44

ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley · 28/05/2026 08:31

I wouldn't worry about the mistake. It shows the status of him as a TENANT and the intention of your aunt. Tenants don't get to live in a dwelling once the owner legitimately wants them out.

Can you imagine the mess that would ensue if this case stuck in his favour? He was a freeloader then and the court will see that he is just trying to continue to freeload. A tale as old as time itself.

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I suppose I just worry about the fact their solicitors are doing this. They must feel they have a case.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 08:40

RandomMess · 28/04/2026 21:57

The courts do, and I think on the day they told the parties to go out and come to an agreement the court would approve which is basically the other side backing down. Absolutely waste of money.

We will never understand why their barrister wasn’t able to talk sense into them, but I guess the solicitor wasn’t able to either.

I obviously don't know what their solicitors are saying to them privately but they seem determined.

OP posts:

ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley · 28/05/2026 08:31

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 08:27

The only documentation is a tenancy agreement that I tried to protect my aunt with. It was for a minimal rent and I didn't do it quite right so it's not actually binding but I feel it shows she wasn't intending to let him stay or give it to him.

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I wouldn't worry about the mistake. It shows the status of him as a TENANT and the intention of your aunt. Tenants don't get to live in a dwelling once the owner legitimately wants them out.

Can you imagine the mess that would ensue if this case stuck in his favour? He was a freeloader then and the court will see that he is just trying to continue to freeload. A tale as old as time itself.

Viviennemary · 28/05/2026 08:31

I see he has only lived there two years. So I agree he doesn't have much of a case.

Viviennemary · 28/05/2026 08:29

I heard of somebody in a similar position through the grapevine. They found it almost impossible to get the person out. How long has he lived there. And did he live there with your aunt like the family home.

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 08:27

ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley · 28/05/2026 08:07

The courts can't allow this. If they did, the floodgates would open and there would be chaos.

If he has no documentation, this will be laughed out in the first 20 minutes.

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The only documentation is a tenancy agreement that I tried to protect my aunt with. It was for a minimal rent and I didn't do it quite right so it's not actually binding but I feel it shows she wasn't intending to let him stay or give it to him.

OP posts:

IdentityCris · 28/05/2026 08:16

Nat6999 · 28/05/2026 06:41

Tell him if he doesn't move out by the stated date you will be pursuing him for unpaid rent backdated to when he moved in. Have a look on Rightmove for the average rent for a property like it in your area, I bet he will be off like a shot

Doing something that might allow him to claim he has tenants' rights would be a seriously bad idea.

godmum56 · 28/05/2026 08:12

am going out the door so haven't time to RTFT sorry. If he is that broke, I am not sure how he can go to court on a civil matter. I was involved in something peripherally the same and it was made very clear to me by the very kind and sensible solicitor that I employed, that I wouldn't find a barrister to take my case unless I could show means to pay. He might be doing no win no fee but even then there has to be a better chance of winning than he seems to have, to find someone to take it on.

ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley · 28/05/2026 08:07

Sleepneededprettyplease · 07/04/2026 20:20

He is claiming dependency but she didn't give him money so it is just the housing which technically came from me.

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The courts can't allow this. If they did, the floodgates would open and there would be chaos.

If he has no documentation, this will be laughed out in the first 20 minutes.

RoseField1 · 28/05/2026 07:51

Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 18:31

Sorry I meant my barrister. They are called vouvilbfor some reason that I am not very clear on. I have obviously spent far too long talking to lawyers recently as I am starting to pick up their words.

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Your barrister is counsel, not council. Just saying :)

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 07:42

SheilaFentiman · 28/05/2026 07:32

if you have read all of the OP’s posts, you will see that nothing will make this man be off like a shot.

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This is also true. I am dealing with a CF of the highest order.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 07:41

Nat6999 · 28/05/2026 06:41

Tell him if he doesn't move out by the stated date you will be pursuing him for unpaid rent backdated to when he moved in. Have a look on Rightmove for the average rent for a property like it in your area, I bet he will be off like a shot

I need to follow the legal advice so I can't do that. It is all with the courts now so I really have to just go along with the 'appropriate' way to handle it. I don't dare to put any judges backs up.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 07:38

BunnyLake · 28/05/2026 06:23

How long has he lived in it?

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About 2 years. Closer to 3 now I suppose but I started trying to get him out around the 2 year point.

OP posts:

SheilaFentiman · 28/05/2026 07:32

Nat6999 · 28/05/2026 06:41

Tell him if he doesn't move out by the stated date you will be pursuing him for unpaid rent backdated to when he moved in. Have a look on Rightmove for the average rent for a property like it in your area, I bet he will be off like a shot

if you have read all of the OP’s posts, you will see that nothing will make this man be off like a shot.

Nat6999 · 28/05/2026 06:41

Tell him if he doesn't move out by the stated date you will be pursuing him for unpaid rent backdated to when he moved in. Have a look on Rightmove for the average rent for a property like it in your area, I bet he will be off like a shot