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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my birthday presents gift wrapped?

86 replies

StuntNun · 07/04/2026 14:08

It’s my birthday tomorrow, a milestone one, and there are currently at least thirteen cardboard boxes, mostly from Amazon, stashed around the house. My mum is trying to persuade my DH that he shouldn’t gift wrap the presents but just let me open the cardboard boxes myself instead since “it will still be a surprise.”
Hmm

So, AIBU to prefer my birthday presents wrapped up rather than open a stack of cardboard boxes on my big day?

OP posts:
Bjorkdidit · 07/04/2026 16:40

Mumof2wifeof1crazytimes · 07/04/2026 16:35

I would be more bothered that most of my presents for a significant birthday are from Amazon.

Show quote history

Yeah, it smacks of a bit 'low thought/effort' from SIL/MIL. Just click away on Amazon and get stuff delivered straight to the OPs house, job done.

Mumof2wifeof1crazytimes · 07/04/2026 16:35

StuntNun · 07/04/2026 14:08

It’s my birthday tomorrow, a milestone one, and there are currently at least thirteen cardboard boxes, mostly from Amazon, stashed around the house. My mum is trying to persuade my DH that he shouldn’t gift wrap the presents but just let me open the cardboard boxes myself instead since “it will still be a surprise.”
Hmm

So, AIBU to prefer my birthday presents wrapped up rather than open a stack of cardboard boxes on my big day?

I would be more bothered that most of my presents for a significant birthday are from Amazon.

AgentPidge · 07/04/2026 16:32

I love opening parcels so this wouldn't bother me. You don't know what's in them until they're opened, so I don't see the point of him opening the parcels and wrapping them in paper that you're just going to unwrap again, especially as people don't seem to reuse it. They just rip it. He could decorate/find someone to decorate the parcels! But that's just me. If you want them wrapped then tell him! Maybe the ones from your SILs etc are already wrapped?

Original poster
StuntNun · 07/04/2026 16:32

Coconutter24 · 07/04/2026 16:20

Like I said in my other comment it’s fine to have a preference on how you like your presents wrapped but it doesn’t mean the giver has to do that. If anyone was to complain about presents being given in a box then they’d be ungrateful, I’m not saying you are (unless you’re saying you’re not happy they’ve not been wrapped)

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DH is actually out today but I suspect he will tell my mum he doesn’t mind wrapping presents and pack me off for a long bath to get me out of the way this evening. To be fair to my mum, my dad used to do all the present buying and wrapping when I was a child so she never had to do anything - from her point of view the presents miraculously appeared already wrapped on birthdays and at Christmas.

OP posts:
truepenguin · 07/04/2026 16:29

I think, as the boxes are addressed to you, they should (ugly as they may be) be left for you to open.

However, that does not stop your DH (or your mum!) wrapping your presents from them thoughtfully and with care, arranging them nicely on a table with some flowers and hopefully a cake. Then the brown parcels can be stacked, so you get a nice mix of 'oh! look how many people remembered to send me something!' (amazon) and 'oh, what pretty wrapped presents!' (people in your house).

But really, they should have hidden the Amazon parcels from you so that they are not lying about the house spoiling the surprise. They should have squirrelled them away and produced them - ta-da! on the day, rather than involve you in wrapping-gate. Or are you the referee and receiver of all the questions (where shall I put this? Which spoons shall we use? What were you thinking of for tea? etc).

Happy Birthday!

StripedTee · 07/04/2026 16:28

Anewuser · 07/04/2026 14:19

Unless your milestone birthday is your 1st, then opening boxes will be opening your presents. You have too much time on your hands if you think your husband should open the boxes and wrap your presents. And just how spoilt are you?

Have your standards always been so low?

BoogieTownTop · 07/04/2026 16:24

StuntNun · 07/04/2026 16:18

At Christmas, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law ordered sheets of wrapping paper along with their presents for my kids and asked DH to wrap everything for them. He didn’t mind as it saved them spending £3 per gift on Amazon wrapping bags.

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That’s good of him!

Smartiepants79 · 07/04/2026 16:23

On what planet is it actually normal to just bung your beloved relatives an unwrapped Amazon box for a birthday gift??
It is not spoilt to hope that someone might have made 20 minutes worth of effort to make you feel special on your birthday.
Yet again mumsnet is a parallel universe.

itsmycheese · 07/04/2026 16:22

Coconutter24 · 07/04/2026 16:08

I don’t think spoilt is the right word…. Ungrateful is probably right

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God you people are joyless! Why even buy the presents - they're married, it's all coming out of the same pot? Actually why bother celebrating birthdays, you're going to die in a few years anyway?!

OP, I agree with you - opening boxes and opening presents are totally different things. You aren't spoilt or ungrateful, you just want to have a little fun - don't let mumsnet silly billies or your mum spoil it for you.

Coconutter24 · 07/04/2026 16:20

StuntNun · 07/04/2026 16:16

@Coconutter24 ungrateful for what exactly? I’m only asking whether people agree with my mum (leave presents in delivery boxes) or with me (wrap
up presents.) I’m very much looking forward to my birthday and spending time with my family. We’ve all taken the day off work, my mum and adult children are here, and DH is going to make French Onion Soup for my lunch.

Like I said in my other comment it’s fine to have a preference on how you like your presents wrapped but it doesn’t mean the giver has to do that. If anyone was to complain about presents being given in a box then they’d be ungrateful, I’m not saying you are (unless you’re saying you’re not happy they’ve not been wrapped)

Original poster
StuntNun · 07/04/2026 16:18

BoogieTownTop · 07/04/2026 16:15

Well he’s not responsible for wrapping presents from others, that’s for sure! 🤣

Show quote history

At Christmas, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law ordered sheets of wrapping paper along with their presents for my kids and asked DH to wrap everything for them. He didn’t mind as it saved them spending £3 per gift on Amazon wrapping bags.

OP posts:
Original poster
StuntNun · 07/04/2026 16:16

@Coconutter24 ungrateful for what exactly? I’m only asking whether people agree with my mum (leave presents in delivery boxes) or with me (wrap
up presents.) I’m very much looking forward to my birthday and spending time with my family. We’ve all taken the day off work, my mum and adult children are here, and DH is going to make French Onion Soup for my lunch.

OP posts:
Thingsthatgo · 07/04/2026 16:16

opening Amazon boxes on your birthday is completely joyless. In our house we all get decorations, flowers and a table full of gifts and cards. I really believe in squeezing every bit of joy out of life, we celebrate everything - the dog’s birthday, the day I met my husband, the anniversary of the day we moved into our house, we even celebrate the DC’s name days.
Any excuse for cake!

BoogieTownTop · 07/04/2026 16:15

StuntNun · 07/04/2026 16:12

Happy birthday for tomorrow @ToffeePennie I hope your husband manages to get you something nice and you have an enjoyable birthday.

My DH usually wraps presents by my mum is visiting and has stuck her oar in. DH didn’t get his presents wrapped as a child so I’m worried he will be susceptible to her persuasion. He wraps presents for his parents and siblings as well as for me so it’s definitely not beyond his capabilities!

The parcels are from my siblings, other relatives, in laws and friends, not all from DH, and some of them are probably already gift wrapped or in those bags that Amazon use. As I said, it’s a milestone birthday, so there are more presents than I would usually get.

Lol at @DisappearingGirl Mumsnet can be hilarious sometimes, can’t it.

Well he’s not responsible for wrapping presents from others, that’s for sure! 🤣

Original poster
StuntNun · 07/04/2026 16:12

Happy birthday for tomorrow @ToffeePennie I hope your husband manages to get you something nice and you have an enjoyable birthday.

My DH usually wraps presents by my mum is visiting and has stuck her oar in. DH didn’t get his presents wrapped as a child so I’m worried he will be susceptible to her persuasion. He wraps presents for his parents and siblings as well as for me so it’s definitely not beyond his capabilities!

The parcels are from my siblings, other relatives, in laws and friends, not all from DH, and some of them are probably already gift wrapped or in those bags that Amazon use. As I said, it’s a milestone birthday, so there are more presents than I would usually get.

Lol at @DisappearingGirl Mumsnet can be hilarious sometimes, can’t it.

OP posts:
JoaoJoao · 07/04/2026 16:10

DisappearingGirl · 07/04/2026 16:03

I knew this thread would quickly descend into four Yorkshirewomen levels of martyrdom.

Presents OP? How spoilt. A lump of (unwrapped) coal should be plenty.

Show quote history

Well, the OP mentions 13 separate Amazon boxes. It’s hardly performatively miserable to suggest that’s a lot of unnecessary unwrapping then re wrapping.

Coconutter24 · 07/04/2026 16:08

StuntNun · 07/04/2026 15:17

We usually wrap birthday presents in this household. Someone might be given a present still in the shipping box if it arrived on the day of their birthday and everything else had already been opened. A stack of Amazon boxes doesn’t look particularly enticing.

An interesting comment from Anewuser about being spoilt. I wrap all the presents for the other five people in my household but, when it’s my birthday, it’s being spoilt?!

I don’t think spoilt is the right word…. Ungrateful is probably right

BoogieTownTop · 07/04/2026 16:08

ToffeePennie · 07/04/2026 16:01

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It’s also my birthday tomorrow, however, my husband hasn’t even bought me anything yet. No card/no gifts.
Ive Put my foot down this year and text him a list;
“Buy/get someone to make a birthday cake x flavour Y icing
Cards from you and the children - oldest isn’t old enough to buy one yet - please take the kids to buy a card.
Decide if we are having a meal at Z or if we are having a Chinese from A at home.
I would like a lie in until 9am, then a cuppa in bed.
Everything else is optional, but think of what I did for you on your birthday or the kids birthdays (present table, balloons, banners, paid for a weekend away & arranged childcare, organised a surprise escape room etc”
Im not asking for him to do everything, but just show some care! I didn’t even get a card for Mother’s Day because “it snuck up on me” despite me telling him 12 times and physically handing him the stuff for his own mother….

Why on earth would you be buying another woman’s Mother’s Day stuff when you don’t get anything?

DisappearingGirl · 07/04/2026 16:03

Anewuser · 07/04/2026 14:19

Unless your milestone birthday is your 1st, then opening boxes will be opening your presents. You have too much time on your hands if you think your husband should open the boxes and wrap your presents. And just how spoilt are you?

I knew this thread would quickly descend into four Yorkshirewomen levels of martyrdom.

Presents OP? How spoilt. A lump of (unwrapped) coal should be plenty.

Bjorkdidit · 07/04/2026 16:02

Having them wrapped might seem nice, but it seems awfully wasteful for them to be opened, only to be wrapped up again just so you can experience unwrapping them. We need to get away from overpackaging things for no objective reason at all.

But what on earth has he bought? Thirteen gifts!

ToffeePennie · 07/04/2026 16:01

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It’s also my birthday tomorrow, however, my husband hasn’t even bought me anything yet. No card/no gifts.
Ive Put my foot down this year and text him a list;
“Buy/get someone to make a birthday cake x flavour Y icing
Cards from you and the children - oldest isn’t old enough to buy one yet - please take the kids to buy a card.
Decide if we are having a meal at Z or if we are having a Chinese from A at home.
I would like a lie in until 9am, then a cuppa in bed.
Everything else is optional, but think of what I did for you on your birthday or the kids birthdays (present table, balloons, banners, paid for a weekend away & arranged childcare, organised a surprise escape room etc”
Im not asking for him to do everything, but just show some care! I didn’t even get a card for Mother’s Day because “it snuck up on me” despite me telling him 12 times and physically handing him the stuff for his own mother….

catipuss · 07/04/2026 16:01

Anewuser · 07/04/2026 14:19

Unless your milestone birthday is your 1st, then opening boxes will be opening your presents. You have too much time on your hands if you think your husband should open the boxes and wrap your presents. And just how spoilt are you?

I take it you don't wrap presents.

MyLimeGuide · 07/04/2026 15:59

He is being lazy. But men in general hate wrapping presents, they deem it as womens work. Maybe your mum will secretly wrap them for you?

BoogieTownTop · 07/04/2026 15:58

None of your mums business, but at least 13 presents is a lot to wrap, hope he’s got a lot of paper or they’re small!

WormHoleInSpace · 07/04/2026 15:55

Yanbu, I'd want them wrapping too,
Would your dm ( god knows why she is getting involved) say its OK to give you your birthday card not in its envelope ?