To be so upset by what my aunt said and did when I went to visit

Hi OP, I'm sorry you were made to feel this way. I think some responders aren't taking into account that depending on which country you flew to, it may not have been that easy to just come home, nor to just go and get your own food. I also think it's important to remember that things we can easily brush off from strangers or acquaintances, can hurt us deeply when they come from family. Nobody has the power to wound quite like a close family member. Anyway, you've had a rubbish time, spent a load of money, and learnt a big lesson. It sounds like you have a good relationship, and you are now empowered with knowledge about your health. Spend some time nurturing yourself - from your liver to your skincare - and try to put this bad experience behind you. Don't see them again - or if you must - meet them only at social gatherings (such as weddings) where you are in control of what you eat and when you leave. And have some fillers/botox if you really want to - it's not a moral failing! Take care of yourself OP.

I am a year older than you. While your aunt was very unkind I think she’s just mirrored something you are already feeling.
To be frank, I cannot believe how much I’ve aged between 50 and 57.
Like you I found love later in life and when I look back at pics from 10 years ago I look great. And I felt great.
Menopause - not going to bang on about it as it seems to irritate some posters but I am post menopause now, and the differences….
My hair, once my best feature, is thinning and like straw.
I appear to have grown another chin.
Gone from a size 8 to 14/16 with no change in diet.
Crinkly skin everywhere. Baldy lashes. Nails which break.
And it goes on….
I think facing up to that is the real issue here. Don’t pin it on your aunt, and regret the trip.
Yes, it was rubbish.
The question is - what next?
It depends on your budget, and your feelings around improving yourself but dealing with the surface:
Change your hair. Go to the best hairdresser you can afford. It’s the best investment.
You don’t need to spend a fortune on skincare but do a bit of research. No 7 is brilliant and I’ve noticed have a new skincare range coming out tomorrow..
Make up. Move away from powder formulations and to creamier ones. Wear less.
Moisturise head-to-toe every day.
Think about what you are wearing. You don’t need lots of new clothes or follow trends when don’t suit - I just returned some wide leg jeans as they looked awful on me - but have a look around Instagram for a few stylish people.
Try HRT.
And embrace the freedom. I’ve lost a lot of friends recently - all around my age - and they would all swap places to still be here. Dealing with my beard is a small price to pay.
I saw a pic of my mum at my age the other day and my first instinct was - wow, she looks older.
But she doesn’t - it was just the styling then.
However, she did embrace life. She had great friends, she loved younger friends, she was always trying something new and just did her best to enjoy life.
Sadly she died at 70, and I think if I get that long, just 13 years, it’s not that long, is it?
So take heart - you deserve to be here, living a good life, with people you love.
Knobbly knees, shit eyesight, creaky elbows, saggy boobs, oh and shall I mention feet….? 🤣

That’s true but she’s giving this bonkers woman a lot of power. Which I can imagine is hard not to do of course. But op this is a good opportunity to shore up your self confidence and not be so knocked by others. She’s hit a nerve obviously but she hasn’t made you feel anything, you’ve created those feelings.

you post like you have no agency op which as an adult isn’t true.

OP your post only makes sense if you were a child and were relying on people to care for you.

You're a grown adult, there was nothing stopping you sorting yourself out or going home.

Your 3 weeks didn't cause fatty liver disease.

What did you do for the three weeks there?
As an adult - why didnt you go to the shops and get yourself some fresh food? Even if you werent allowed to cook or use the kitchen - you could have gone for a walk/ taxi somewhere and had some bread/salad etc etc that didnt need to rely on an old lady to cook chips for you.
OR....after the first week - gone and stayed somewhere else for the remaining time.

She sounds nasty. I wouldn't be visiting her again any time soon! Some people just love to make digs and tear people down.

You have the advantage of being younger than her. I would have been tempted to laugh and gently rib her about losing her filter in her old age and you hope she isn't becoming senile now.

I would never stay with someone 3 weeks and expect them to feed and cook for me that whole time! What a huge expense. Maybe she couldn't afford more than chips. You should have sorted your own food. And then whining that your other relatives took you out for meals just a few times or just had you to stay a little bit. Yes it was expensive to get there but 3 weeks is too long to expect anyone bar your parents to host you that long. And fatty liver takes months/years to develop. Her bluntness over your appearance was thoughtless but probably not intentional. Focus on eating better (more protein and fibre) and exercise and you will do well. Menopause is hard. Take this as a jumpstart to a healthier lifestyle and hopefully you will feel more confident and happier soon.

I don't understand why you had to eat mounds of chips cooked by your auntie? You're a grown woman. Couldn't you just go to a cafe or buy food from a shop?

It sounds like you aren't happy with the way she spoke to you but the food thing seems a bit weird.

This.
And why didn’t you consider taking your aunt out for a meal occasionally?

Why couldn't you take yourself out for meals or buy food and cook for yourself, why eat fried chips if that's not what you wanted

If you didn't say I'd assume you were around 13/14yo. You had agency and are delusional if you think three weeks of chips gave you a fatty liver.

“Traumatised” because someone said you look different than you used to?

Doesn’t like a fun visit but you’re a grown woman who can leave, or arrange her own food.

You were very passive and now you are being passive again by blaming your aunt for your health issue and low self esteem. You seem to hope your idea of yourself as a helpless victim will be colluded with, here. Not ok.

Where does she live?

Your aunt was unpleasant and rude, no one can deny that. Not sure why anyone would think it is shallow? But why would you quietly bear it? You are a mature woman, you could have said something back to her and told her to stop being awful. Even with the food- did you make your stance clear? It is very odd that she won't make meals- does she survive on chips too? Why didnt you leave after a week? I get that you are upset by her treatment but you are not as much as a victim as you'd like to think.

From Google...

Fatty liver disease (both non-alcoholic/MASLD and alcoholic) is caused by excess fat storage in liver cells, driven primarily by obesity (especially abdominal), type 2 diabetes, insulin resistance, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. It is often linked to diet, sedentary lifestyles, and heavy alcohol use.

Well obviously she is a rude and tactless woman with no social skills. And her carrying on like that was hurtful.

But could you not have said ‘yes we all change and age, and you’ve made your opinion clear now so let’s leave it now’

And if I stay with someone for 3 weeks I cook regularly and take them out for dinner occasionally. Why couldn’t you go shopping for fruit and veg and offer to make something?

Family visits can be v tricky.

Don’t take your aunts rudeness personally and react to it. She has no right to make you feel shit about yourself.

I 100per cent believe the constant fried food tipped me into the unhealthy range.

This sounds like another example of you not taking responsibility I'm afraid.

Fatty liver disease takes years to develop.

Well you've said yourself she's weird so why give any credence to her remarks about your looks?

Embrace your age and invest in good skincare , haircuts and styling if you need a confidence boost! Ditch the plastic surgery ideas.

I am exercising and eating healthily to get the fatty liver under control but I 100per cent believe the constant fried food tipped me into the unhealthy range.

You must have had a fatty liver to start with!

That is on you.

Staying with anyone for 3 weeks is ridiculous! IF you 56 how old is your aunt? Probably too old to host visitors!

Does your aunt live in the middle of nowhere? Are there no supermarkets you could have gone to and bought your own food?

There isn't a special place in heaven for martyrs!

A fatty liver after 3 weeks, you're taking through your backside!

Sorry to be rude.

I'm also wondering why you couldn't cook for yourself?..