To be so upset by what my aunt said and did when I went to visit

The OP doesn't explicitly state what her expectations were, but I think it's fairly clear that she expected that she was not allowed to cook for herself, therefore expected the aunt to provide a sensible diet for the 3 week visit. The OP is clear that she did not expect chips for every meal and the food offered fell below her expectations. It also was stated that the wider family had concerns about the aunt's behaviour and tried to make up the slack to some extent. So the aunt was not a 'good' host according to the expectations of the OP or her wider family and I'm taking them to be experts in their culture.

I don't know if sourcing her own food (fresh uncooked ingredients she could eat raw, street food, or visiting a cafe or restaurant alone) would have been very high risk for her. But I imagine she would have an idea of which of these options were hazardous in her culture.

It is a culture known for hospitality so not being fed by an aunt was truly weird

Every bloody culture will tell you its known for hospitality and that they bond by eating together. Find me a single culture in this world that doesn't make a statement like that. I'm sick of being told by people from outside of my country and my culture that their country and culture is especially known for showing hospitality through sharing food.

It's like this is supposed to come as some sort of curious surprise to us British people. Like everyone else assumes we barricade our front doors to stop people coming over the threshold, and if we really can't avoid it then we just shove a ready meal in front of them and fuck off, leaving them alone to eat it while they go out and do something more interesting.

I hear it all the time on Bake Off or Master Chef and it drives me mad.

'In my culture we love getting together with friends and family for big celebration meals and we show love through feeding people.'

Newsflash, that's not your culture that's just called being human. We all do it.

What was your uncle eating?

Traumatised by a few comments. You're 56. Most people have developed a thicker skin by that age and don't take silly comments to heart.

Fatty liver develops over years, not from 3 weeks of fried food. If that was the case everyone would be walking around with a fatty liver. Your lifestyle is possibly not as healthy as you think.

You should have shopped for ingredients and made your own food. And why didn't you leave as soon as you realised no one wanted you there. You passively accepted the treatment given to you.

Maybe I missed this, but I'm not sure there were any expectations on the auntie to be a "good host" (or what that might look like in OP culture?) When I go home, there's no "hosting", life goes on as normal and I'm expected to slide back in to the community and culture. And for me it's very, very difficult, and in some contexts very high risk, to just opt out of certain behaviours or expectations . If I even reach an awareness that that's what they are. Plus, of course, my culture is so important to me, it's who I am, so there are complex emotional stakes around how I interact with my community as someone who's sort of "out" of it.

Your aunt wasn't kind, but you sound silly too, OP. 56 years of age and relying on others for food as you state in your OP is embarrassing. 🙈

Well ok, the cultural expectation for the OP was that she wasn't allowed to cook for herself or leave early

The cultural expectation of her aunt was to be a good host

Her aunt broke cultural expectations. Why should the OP continue to uphold them? It sounds like the OP lives in the UK, so has knowledge (possibly also experience) of living a life in a way other than the culture of their heritage. She could have chosen not to uphold cultural expectations since she found herself in a situation that didn't conform to them. There are big or loud ways to do this, or smaller, politer, discreeter ways. But the OP seemed to be entirely passive and made a choice to do nothing.

Being angry, upset, disappointed etc at her aunt seems like a very normal response to how she was treated. The choice to do nothing does not seem 'normal'. It's a choice a person might make if they had an emotionally abussive childhood for example.

@Droopydroopingdropped I'm not British either, and can understand the issue about not being able to cook or shop for yourself. Would likely cause huge offence in certain situations in my family too - and it's impossible to even articulate some of the rules to yourself, never mind try to explain them to people outside your culture.

I also understand how hard it can be to "come home" once you move away. Esp if you're seen as forgetting your roots or whatever.

But, you need to take responsibility for the fatty liver disease, and if you get cosmetic surgery, take ownership of the decision.

Your auntie sounds very rude, but it's over now, and now you know better than to stay with her next time!

Damn right I wont be going again. I dont even want to speak to that aunt ever again.
I will maintain contact with the nice aunts and cousins who were delightful.

She is 56 and not wanting to talk to someone - how often does she speak to her nowadays ??

Ah came on, that google excerpt proves nothing to support your argument that there are few places left on this planet without delivery services.
I live 5km outside of a reasonable sized urban town in Ireland and the only food delivery service we can get is Domino’s and even that’s limited.
The world is a very big place, expand your mind.

No she doesn’t. If I were to go and stay with relatives I would expect to be made welcome, for the host to find out what I liked to eat, and for he/she to be thoughtful and kind. Instead she got a critical and surly response from the aunt who didn’t want to put herself out for her guest! The other relatives were much nicer, shame they weren’t hosting the visit

Most of my aunts make those kinds of comments. A week after I gave birth "oh you're so fat". When I was a teenager "oh you're so spotty! My daughter NEVER gets spots AAAND she's beautiful!"

I simply chose not to speak to any of them again once my mother had passed. Up until then, I did from a distance out of respect for my mum.

Fatty liver disease was not caused by 3 weeks of chips!

Staying for three weeks is massive, and it sounds like it was supposed to be even longer. She was probably fed up with you by the end of it, to be honest.

Why did you need to ask people to bring you food? Am I missing something?

I agree. Some people think it’s insane to stay with anyone for three weeks but in my view that attitude is odd. We have family a long way overseas and you can’t go for short visits. Of course we stay for protracted periods and whilst it can be tricky, your aunt’s behaviour is something else again. You may have changed outwardly (bet you still look fine though) but it sounds like she’s changed inwardly from the nice person you presumably used to know and were looking forward to visiting to someone really nasty and quite weird.
that’s a much worse change than a few wrinkles etc!
I wonder whether deep down you’re maybe more upset and disappointed with your family not as nice as you remembered they used to be? I think that’s how I’d feel.

Hope you feel happier soon and can chalk it up to experience and plan a nice break somewhere nice soon.

Sure.

Or they can imagine and they disapprove, perhaps?

That literally says there aren't delivery services in lots of places on Earth. Try actually reading it.

It's interesting you mention UberEats and ready meals as not being available there because it makes me wonder if that's what you rely on at home and neither are healthy choices. Maybe you just mean you couldn't leave your aunt's house to go proper shopping as she would be upset? Was it impossible to be assertive about this? There really are few places in the world without markets, corner shops, street food or something of the sort to create a basic meal.
Obviously, you won't be going back to stay there again but you can improve your health and appearance to boost your self esteem if it bothers you but mainly you need to disregard awful Auntie's comments and move on.

I know. Lots of MNers are having a lovely time having a go at her, as if they can't possibly imagine that different cultures could be different from British ones. Can't think why.

You sound quite petulant

Not according to google:
While major food delivery apps operate in over 100 countries, comprehensive, modern services are largely absent, limited, or non-existent in areas with limited digital infrastructure, economic isolation, or political conflict
. Countries lacking formal, widespread apps include North Korea, Iran, and several nations experiencing acute humanitarian crises, such as parts of Yemen and Sudan.
Wikipedia +3

• Conflict and Political Constraints: Countries like North Korea, Iran, and sometimes Yemen or Venezuela lack the digital infrastructure or international companies necessary for apps like Uber Eats or Glovo.
• Infrastructure & Economic Limitations: In many developing nations across Africa (outside major hubs like South Africa, Kenya, and Nigeria) and parts of Central Asia, formal courier services are largely replaced by traditional, direct-from-restaurant delivery.

This is very weird…

Was being diplomatic

Good grief, ghost the woman, she sounds awful! Sorry you had to put up with this @Droopydroopingdropped I know/have known some women like this, several I am related to, and I have quietly given them a wide berth.

I travelled extensively, including in some pretty remote areas devoid of tourists and I have never come across a village that wouldn't have a market stall of some description. Fair enough, OP couldn't cook but I refuse to believe that she could not find a fruit stall in the vicinity to supplement her chip diet with something healthy.
Also she says her cousins took her out for a meal which would suggest there were restaurants available.
Nobody is suggesting that her aunt is a picture of hospitality. We just find it genuinely strange that OP couldn't do anything at all to improve her nutrition.