To be so upset by what my aunt said and did when I went to visit

The aunt did not deserve a Thankyou. She didn’t put herself out and was nasty to OP! I do expect a host to take care of guests, taking the trouble to find out which foods they like etc. I’m sure OP would like to have helped if she’d been allowed. If the nasty aunt didn’t want to host then she should have contacted the nicer relatives. What a shame they weren’t the hosts in the first place! There are some spiteful, mean posters on here!

Wow, some of these comments are brutal! It's like you feel bad so they want to make you feel worse!! Is it possible to be jealous of someone you can't even see? Because, some of these comments reek of jealousy and mean girl!

I know what it's like to feel beautiful and then worry that you can't give that part of you to the world so you want to hang on to it...I get it. It's a fleeting thought for me, most days, but it's still a thought that's there and I have no problem in acknowledging it publicly or privately. People have accused me of being vain because I have blonde hair, go to the gym, have a sense of fashion etc. I don't judge others but they seem to think I'm open season. Let them do what they do, I don't care.

As evidenced by your aunt and some of the comments on this post, women can be spiteful, vindictive, jealous and petty. Don't let anyone bring you down, though. That is always, without fail, symptomatic of low self esteem on their part. They don't like when people aren't apologetic about their looks or confidence.

You are fine. You have aged. Fine. We all do, if we're lucky, so they say.

You had your feelings hurt. Fine. Now you know how everyone is there, make sure you don't invite that toxicity into your life again. You're under no obligation to allow people to hurt your feelings!

As for fatty liver, I have no comment on that but wish you speedy recovery!

Hope you feel better today.

100/195 countries have delivery services eg Deliveroo in Europe or Yassir in Magreb.
Other countries have informal delivery- you ring the restaurant/cafe/food service etc and it comes to you.
I suggest you read it!

So you do have a delivery service.
I speak two languages fluently, can get by in another three, and have lived in five countries and visited 80, and am married to someone from another continent. Not sure I need my mind expanding about the world....

That google shows that one or way or another, a large area of the world can get food delivered...either in a local way or a more Western way.

The fried food maybe tipped you into the unhealthy range as far as eating habits are concerned but fatty liver disease is not caused by three weeks of eating chips. It’s either caused by excessive alcohol consumption or it’s the result of years of fat build up in the liver caused by obesity, sedentary lifestyle and high cholesterol/blood pressure.

How do people not understand that not every country is the same as the UK? Its not unusual to not have food shops nearby, you may not feel safe walking alone and there may be a langubarrier.
We visit my MIL in India (we used to stay in her house for 3 weeks), where she lived was quite a walk to local shops, certainly no supermarkets unless you went to a mall or the city centre, and I wouldn't have had a clue how to get there under my own steam (nor would it have been totally safe and there would definitely be a language barrier).
If family are hosting, 3 weeks is not unusual and they would expect to feed you lovely food (we used to give MIL some money to buy extra food)

If the whole family, to quote OP, 'knows what she's like' (the aunt) then OP likely knew too.

Who in their right mind keeps their mouth shut and just accepts chips every night?

There was nothing stopping OP stating she'd cook a few nights as a thank you and going to get food.

IMO visiting family or friends doesn't entitle anyone to being fed day and night for free. OP could have and, by the sounds of it, should have stepped in rather than just moaning and she absolutely should have bought her host some wine or food as a thank you.

No idea, I didn't ever ask that question, I just focused on how to fix it. For me, losing over 50KG has helped.

I'm assuming that was just you trying to have a snarky dig. I'm not sure if it was at me or the OP. But, my entire post focused on what to do now, not on who should be blamed for the liver issue (which wasn't my main health issue). Rather than apportion blame, I was trying to help.

Not sure what your one liner was trying to achieve.

Tipped you over to fatty liver well what about all th years before and what you had been eating. This post stinks of avoidance, your advising admitting you have been eating shite, and are using your aunt as an excuse. Just deal with it, a lot of us look different to 6 years ago anyway but most of us don’t see it ourselves.

Firstly you haven't got fatty liver because you've had some chips over the last few weeks.

Secondly, what was stopping you from buying food and cooking it? Why was your relative expected to feed you?

And lastly, why did you stay with a relative you so clearly dislike?

No harsher than other replies. But there you go. The posts do not read like a 50 odd year old woman. Griping about spots and fatty liver and not being "allowed".

OP it's understandably difficult for people here to comment on a culture that sounds completely different from our own. So you have to understand that your comments about not being allowed in the kitchen and not being able to buy food don't make a lot of sense. Whether or not people comment on appearance is also a cultural thing, your aunt is living in in culture that you do no live in, maybe its normal there to comment like this? Or maybe not. We can't possibly know. We also can't possibly on one hand make allowances for a difference in culture re food but judge aunt against our cultural in terms of manners. I'm sorry but you will only truly relate to someone who is a cross between both and can get both elements.

Quite harsh really. I imagine ppl don't usually come to you for support.

Think you're getting a hard time on here OP. Ppl have fixated on one aspect of the post.

I have a difficult family & visiting can be hard. I felt you sounded like a bit of a people pleaser (like me!) and maybe we can both learn from our experiences - don't stay so long, don't stay with family & just get a hotel if you can. 3 weeks would drive anyone insane. Don't go for so long again imo, and remember no matter what ppl say, if it's that bad you don't need to go at all. She's extended family & you don't owe her 3 week chunks of your life.

Your aunt sounds old fashioned and judgemental. Try to ground yourself with positive things, remind yourself you're not there anymore - I get a sort of hangover effect from being with family, carrying all the difficult things they said with me, focusing on that. What I should do, and what I'd encourage you to do, is to settle back in properly at home - go out for a coffee, go for a walk, focus on building a positive routine at home, not mulling over stuff she said.

No filler, no plastic surgery 😊 you'd just be letting the old hag make your decisions for you if you went down that route 😆 you don't need to change anything other than your people pleasing gal. You will be ok - take a step back from family for a bit maybe and look after yourself. Self care always a must on returning home from a rough family visit!

You actually sound like a petulant teen not an adult.
Not allowed in the kitchen........did she have armed guards or something?
You say I am hungry, I am going to cook a meal. If that isnt acceptable I am going to stay in a hotel until I can get an early flight home.

And then do it.

Scandal? You dont even live there and you cannot possibly be nteresting enough to cause an actual scandal for going home.

Your aunt probably shouldn't have said those things, but are they true?

Also, it may be the case that it was the three weeks of chips that tipped the balance, but you had to have been teetering on the brink in that case.

Perhaps your diet hasn't been so great for a while and that can can be reflected in appearance. Maybe what is upsetting to you now, might be the catalyst to looking at your diet and lifestyle and making changes if you think you need them.

Did your liver get like that in three weeks then?

You're right. But if you're treated horribly, you don't have to accept it. Doing nothing is a choice

Ah yes the miraculously fast growing type!

To come back saying she abused you, you got a fatty liver from eating chips and that you were going to get fillers etc does point to something else going on OP.

Honestly, just forget what was said and the whole situation, because lesson learnt, you're not going back. Or at least if you do go back, you know to stay in a hotel.

Now is time to move on. Time to use the experience to help you. Menoupause can be rough on the best of us, but you want to live a long and healthy retirement, so use this as your push to make some changes.

Get yourself a nice cut and colour, it can do wonders. Then, make sure you're making healthy but yummy food choices. Push yourself to go for at least a half hour walk every day.

I didn't have a horrid holiday, but I did have a bit of a health crisis at 58 that gave me the kick I needed (mine did also include a fatty liver). I'm now over 60 but healthier than I've been in years and because I don't have any aging aunts to tell me otherwise, I think I look pretty damn decent for my age too.

Make some changes and while you may not thank your aunt for her comments, let them push you to become healthy again.

I don't know why you are getting such a hard time on here, OP.

I can well imagine it was a horrible and awkward 3 weeks, from what you describe.

Not everywhere has shops to hand where you can just pop out and buy yourself a range of healthy snacks.

And not everyone feels comfortable insisting in cooking in somebody else's home, if they aren't given permission to do so.

My DB struggles when he goes to stay with his MIL, as she lives on salad, and doesn't like anyone cooking in her house as she feels it messes up her kitchen (I think she may had undiagnosed OCD). Salad is healthy at least, but he gets pretty hungry after a week or so! But she would be very offended if he went out and bought himself a load of alternative food to eat....

His solution? He tries to limit visits there - he and his partner host her quite often instead (she is happy to eat a range of foods in their home, though small portions + she is weight-conscious).

OP, I would simply put it behind you and not go again!

And try not to worry about her comments on your looks. She is clearly a strange person. If you are happy with your appearance, and your partner still seems attracted to you, what does it matter what anybody else thinks? Especially a strange, rude person in another country.....

I'm originally from Eastern Europe and I too get comments from all the aunties the second I step through the door. Even if they're positive comments, the feeling of being assessed up and down the second you step through the door is horrible.

But you are a grown woman. I would have never stayed with a relative (and yes, i know you get lots of guilt and comments). And you are a grown woman, after the first 2 or 3 days you can see it's not working, you need to take charge.

So on balance YABU.

There are plenty of 7/11 shops in Asia as well as supermarkets, same for Africa. There are also plenty of foodarkets. The poster could have gone out and got food but chose not too

Was avoiding the scandal worth getting fatty liver disease?