To be so upset by what my aunt said and did when I went to visit

That only happens where the liver is at the tipping point. It takes years of either alcohol misuse or a high fat diet to get to the fatty liver stage. OP is blaming the diet served up by her aunt but the fact is her diet couldn’t have been that healthy beforehand because you can’t get fatty liver in three weeks.

Also regarding Fatty Liver, I looked it up and apparently and while NAFLD is usually something that happens over years situations that the OP describes such as eating a high fat diet (we don't know what oil the chips were friend in) over a period of a few weeks can actually tip a normal liver into a fatty state quite rapidly. The good news for the OP is that if she reverts to a healthy diet she can at this point reverse the damage to her liver.

I have an aunt who seems a lot more awful than she used to, I do think that a big part of it is cognitive decline. For some reason she seems to relish in running me down in particular as if she some how images I am her competition? In what way I don't know, she's an elderly woman so it isn't as if we are at any similar stage of life. I think she isn't very happy and her only way to feel better is to try and make someone else feel small. She is dependent on her own family and so can't do that to them and I am one of the few people she sees other than them so I think I get hit with it all. Its quite sad really but she has her own kids so I tend to just avoid her now, she isn't my problem.

Fatty liver does not have symptoms. You could have had it before you visited. It’s not something that is tested for regularly. I’ve got it, but it was only picked up via a scan when I had gallstones.

So if she asked what you wanted and you said “chicken” or whatever and then chips appeared, did you politely enquire about the fate of the chicken? If you were shooed away and told she’d do it and then she didn’t there must have been an opportunity to say “oh no I insist as I really fancy the chicken and you said yesterday it was too complicated/ boring / expensive for you and that’s why I got chips again”. And what did the uncle eat? Daily chips too?

@Droopydroopingdropped so sorry to read this. You sound really sad and it’s horrible what auntie said.

did they eat chips too? It’s a bit strange isn’t it. I’m guessing that by the mention on bombing that it could be Iran? At least you’re safe.

it’s also great that some family members were kind and pleased to see you. So although it was a hard few weeks - try to focus on the positives.

in terms of your looks - aging is normal! But to give you a boost maybe look at your water intake, try some new foods and get your hair done! I always feel better when my hair is nice and I have my nails done. Hopefully the sun coming out more you can get outside, fresh air and have some nice walks.

write it off and plan another trip with nice people!

Ah you have my sympathy, I have an aunt like this (the comments, not the food)

After years of supposed harmless remarks including "oh you've still got your fat arms, teeheehee" and "how is your spotty little face, darling?" when I was dealing with adult acne - I have nothing more to do with the tone deaf old bat.

Good riddance.

Get the fillers if you want to, I did and have no regrets but did it for me and not some prat who's comments mean nothing.

see also

Book a girls night out
Book a spa day
Go away for the weekend

• again to solve all ills from partner not pulling his weight to MIL coming to stay etc.

I've just remembered something that happened to a friend of mine in China. On a long and uncomfortable train trip, she decided to break journey at a stop in picturesque countryside, all cornfields.

After the train continued on its way, she enquired what time the next one would be. Next week, was the reply.

There being no tourism facilities whatsoever in Corn Province, the people sorted out a billet for her with a local family. Apparently they were very kind and her unplanned visit was, as you can imagine, a special experience.

All they ate was corn. Corn soup, corn bread, corn fritters, corn stew, corn porridge, corn, corn. For a whole week. She learned many corn recipes. And never touched the stuff again.

The ease and regularity of 'book into a hotel' is one of the things that shows the financial gulf between me and the average Mumsnetter 😂 Awful partner, ungrateful children, demanding in-laws, ghastly aunt? Book into a hotel!

There aren't even any hotels (or taxis) in my small English town so, outside working hours, I wouldn't be able to get to one if I could afford it. No idea what the situation's like in OP's place of origin but, given she said there are no food shops, I wouldn't bank on a conveniently affordable hotel.

Presumably the nicer relatives would've offered to have her stay if they could have. I guess she was stuck facing the choice between fried chip hell and fisticuffs in the kitchen. Much as I love chips, I might have ended up beating the aunt off with her own frying pan - or running to the next village, screaming "Vegetables, for the love of god! Has anybody got veg?!"

Not ringing the Four Seasons and demanding a long-distance driver, anyway.

Life isn't black and white though, is it?

This isn't a case of OP - good, Aunt - bad.

Was the Aunt a good host? Obviously not! But is OP an 8 year old or a mute? Also NO!

I think the majority of Mumsnetters will have encountered a prickly character, be they friends, family, colleague or other that they've had to verbally tussle with. not the easiest thing to do, granted, but OP is in her fifties! She is more than old enough to ask her Aunt to stop with the personal comments and, if not happy, to leave and book into a hotel.

IMO OP takes some of the blame for her misery because she didn't speak up for herself or put any measures into place to deal with crappy hosting.

Unfortunately getting older is something we all have to face and things do seem to accelerate somewhat when you hit your 50’s.

That said, your aunt’s comments were horrible and I’m not surprised you are upset. It sounds as if she’s gone a bit off piste mentally, because no one would make those comments if they were functioning normally.

If you want to make changes then fine. But don’t do it because of your aunt’s shitty comments. I find focussing more on my heath rather than looks has helped me tremendously. Staying fit and healthy so I feel good makes a massive difference.

We thought she was going from the UK to somewhere else, but what with the endless chips, perhaps we all got it the wrong way around. Perhaps she going from Singapore to the UK. I mean, she did say it was a third world country she went to.

I suggest you read it!

who are you suggesting reads what ?

I haven’t attacked anyone. Yet here you are playing the passive aggressive card, trying to get the last word 🤣🤣🤣

Self defined good looks don’t make a person decent. Because when those looks go, the self esteem goes with it 🤣

Here's the thing.

I came here to support someone who felt down and you have attacked the OP and me. So, out of all of us, who is truly 'beautiful' here?

Get a mirror and grow up.

All the best x

Oh dear.

I own what I am, good or bad.

However I am amused. Anyone who says they are beautiful and that people want to be them is vain and usually very deluded. And usually a teenager - Now that is ‘mean girl’ vibe 🤣🤣

Genuinely beautiful people (inside or out) don’t define themselves by it or accuse others of wanting to be them because they are secure enough in themselves not to have to boast about it

Why India? I am pretty sure eating chips is a rarity there.

No, I can read and people were being bitchy. That's not assumption. But, I'm assuming you're triggered because you have been called out on being bitchy and now you want to posture to pretend you weren't doing what I know you were doing.

You've never measured yourself on your looks? Good for you. Some people do and that's not your business, is it? I think I'm beautiful and, as I stated, comments don't bother me. Petty people wish they would but that's a them problem!

You aren't going to win a battle of wit or self esteem with me, so I hear you, acknowledge you and now you can move along.

How many chips do they eat and does it come on within 3 weeks for them?

Jealous of what exactly? 🤣
The OP has not claimed to be good looking. Plus looks are subjective and fleeting. A decent person is decent regardless of how they look.

I have never measured myself by my looks because I’m not a shallow person and ultimately is an accident of genetics. But if you genuinely think you are beautiful then how does one person’s comments throw you so much.

Oh and you do judge, you assume women are being bitchy.

It’s rude as fuck to comment on things like hair thinning and appearance. She sounds like a nutter tbh.

Was it India? That is what springs to mind for me.

Ethnicity has a massive effect on susceptibility to liver disease.

According to Google's summary:
Hispanic people have the second highest prevalence (11.8%–22.9%) and more aggressive disease progression.
Asians have higher rates than white people. South Asian populations are particularly susceptible, often linked to higher rates of metabolic syndrome (diabetes, hypertension).
Bangladeshis have the highest susceptibility of all.
Black people have the lowest prevalence (roughly 1.5%–13%) and lower risk of severe liver fibrosis/inflammation.

Given OP's remark about bombing, I looked up prevalence in Iran - a staggering 35% of the population has non-alcoholic fatty liver disease putting them at nearly the same risk as Bangladeshis. It's also highly prevalent in Israel, affecting approximately 30% of the population.

Anyway, @Droopydroopingdropped, I understand the problems you faced at your awful aunt's. Sometimes on here, replies are very aware of cultural & societal differences. Other times, definitely not!

Your post immediately made me think of the stereotypical Indian auntie, who is a trope because so many Indian families have them! You have my sympathy, though it's a relief that you were able to see your nicer family members too. Obviously don't have beauty interventions just because your aunt's crazy.