Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think “he’s in a better place” was inappropriate?

179 replies

Homer2 · 07/04/2026 10:59

Does anyone think this is an ok thing to say to someone? I’m baffled as to why she would’ve said it. Someone has just come back to work after compassionate leave because they just lost their dad, and my colleague said to them “he’s in a better place for sure” HUH? I really think thats an insensitive thing to say

OP posts:
JumpinJehoshaphat · 07/04/2026 11:11

It’s incredibly insensitive, and the presumption that you must be Christian is just ignorant.

BollyMolly · 07/04/2026 11:11

It’s one of the many commonly used phrases when someone dies that don’t make much sense in terms of bringing comfort. I wouldn’t hold it against someone who said it, because at least they’ve made the effort to say something. Plenty of people are too afraid to say anything, and that in my experience was much worse. When I’ve been bereaved I preferred people saying the wrong thing than saying nothing at all.

EverleyBros · 07/04/2026 11:07

I think it is an old expression often used because years ago most people were Christians and believed in life in heaven. It can also be reassuring if the deceased person was suffering either mentally or physically.

But unless you are speaking to a Christian,I generally agree it is not sensitive.

Classiclines · 07/04/2026 11:04

Yes I agree.

Unfortunately it's a relatively common thing for people to say. I think it's to do with people being so awkward about dealing with death and they struggle to find an appropriate thing to say. I think they mean it as comfort but it's not.