AIBU to ask my partner to move out over benefits?

Sorry - so are you saying you will be MORE than £1000 worse off, then? In that case you work out how much that is and she pays that - but I get the impression she is not willing to contribute to the balance of lost financial support. In that case, you are better off living separately until your children have grown up and left home. This is often advised anyway as an unrelated adult partner in a home with children is generally a recipe for disaster.

The fact that she has understated her financial position is an issue too - it may be that this was in response to being nervous of making herself vulnerable, esp if has been financially abused/used in previous relationships, but if she is not in a position where she trusts you enough to be honest, then you are not ready to co-habit.

From what I understand, she also needs to move out promptly as, at the moment, she might be considered a visitor, but any longer a stay and you are already in the territory where you should have self-reported the change in your circumstances… and a neighbour or disgruntled acquaintance could really drop you in it.

The country should never have got into a position where you’re more generously supported by the state than by a full time working partner…

Obviously don’t have her move in OP, you don’t even want her there.

From your recent updates, it seems irrelevant. You prefer to live separately and found her being in your space difficult to deal with in terms of routine disruption. I think it would be wiser to focus on that over financial issues because they don't really matter if you ultimately don't want to live together anyway.
I know it may seem easier to frame it in this way because otherwise you have to confront her with the fact that you are just not feeling it...

Well, she either makes up what you lose, and some more to cover her expenses of living there, extra fuel, food or she doesn't move in.
But it doesn't sound like it's a good idea anyway for the shift work before even thinking of the money.

From your original post it appears that you included all these extra outgoings into "£1000 worse off" so you will not have any change in your circumstances if she subs you with extra £1000 she will be saving. Or did I misunderstand your post?

If someone is too ill to work, that’s exactly what the welfare state is for. If the op was getting married, that’s exactly would be different, but she’s not, which means the op has no financial security whatsoever. Are you suggesting she deserves to be on the poverty line?

Then she's not a partner in the real sense.

While I do think she should probably move out, you could have done all of that before she moved in and saved any bad feeling.

Well yeah that’s what the thread is about

If you prefer to live seperate then that's it. End of conversation. I wouldn't ever contemplate moving someone in (especially when you have kids to consider) if it wasn't my goal.

So you think the tax payer should just pick up the tab for you. As has been pointed out this is the issue of the welfare state and why this country is a mess.

If your partner has a salary of 2800 and loads of savings and you love each other. Then you should be a partnership and support each other and all money pooled.

It's tricky because as you are too ill to work assume that any partner is doing lots of caring for you and the children anyway because of your health.

It's not like you can casually date because of your health

So given as you are already in a relationship then she is already very invested in your family and thus you are a family entity already

Your partner needs to move out to wherever they were living before and you can just meet socially. Your finances are too delicately balanced and you need to maintain your cash flow. It’s not romantic buts it’s practical.

It’s perhaps better not to refer to them as your partner anymore. You don’t want anyone reporting you for benefit fraud.

Her borrowing money from you when she has savings and you're on benefits isn't good. Is she angling to move in longer term?

My payslip is similar (around 2600), but I still have very little left at end of month, she is probably same.
For us -
Mortgage - 1200
Council tax - 300
Gas/electric/water/broadband - 300
Food - 400
Wraparound childcare - 200
This leaves 200 for petrol, children's clothes, school meals, children's clubs, presents, dental, prescriptions, mobile phone etc

I haven't had any new clothes for years.

I'm guessing you live in a council property, have subsidised council tax etc. The cost of everything has gone up hugely. 2800 for a household when there is no support with free/ discounted bills, dental, school meals etc doesn't go that far.

I'd be binning her off tbh she's been lying about her income, some how needed to borrow money off you etc. she's a liability financially.

Yes, I understand. But is there a long term commitment? That would mean the entire family dynamic would have to shift anyway.

To be honest it sounds like maybe you are happier living apart anyway?

Seems like a no brainer to not let her move in to be honest

The dishonesty would be a dealbreaker for the relationship for me. She has misled you. What other subjects will be/ will have been lied about?