Holiday at the time of grandchild’s birth

You have all convinced me that I should not go.
i think a part of me was just feeling resentful because I am just taken for granted. I do everything when I am there just to give her a break. Cooking. Cleaning. Childcare. The lot.
i clearly need to stop being a doormat.

Oh my word, how many children do you have ? Being pregnant and looking after a toddler is incredibly hard work, have you any lived experience of this ?

Why high risk? It’s not like they will cut her off, given they need her more than she needs them

DHs parents were travelling the world when DS1 was born. They didn’t meet him until he was 9months old. DH has never forgotten this. It really hurt his feelings.

Let alone a festival that will be on next year anyway

The thing is, there is no guarantee of that. Maybe the festival will be cancelled because the organizers will go bankrupt, maybe there will be another pandemic or something, maybe the op won't be able to go because she will have other pressing issues (family member dying or something), maybe she won't be in good enough health to go there. I don't want to sound morbid but at 70 y.o. I would not want to postpone experiences.

DHs parents were travelling the world when DS1 was born. They didn’t meet him until he was 9months old. DH has never forgotten this. It really hurt his feelings.

I don’t think she should put her life on hold in general, but I think for the birth itself, it’s reasonable.

You have all convinced me that I should not go.
i think a part of me was just feeling resentful because I am just taken for granted. I do everything when I am there just to give her a break. Cooking. Cleaning. Childcare. The lot.
i clearly need to stop being a doormat.

Oh my word, how many children do you have ? Being pregnant and looking after a toddler is incredibly hard work, have you any lived experience of this ?

😂 you try to paint yourself as exhausted and ground down by childcare but you are clearly having a wonderful time, and are lucky to be in very good health.

It’s fine to say you don’t want to help, you would rather take a holiday than look after your grandchild so you son can be present for the birth of your other grandchild and your DIL isn’t giving birth alone. But actions have consequences and if I were your son, I would never prioritise you again.

So she can sit back and be a bit useless because everyone else does it for her? Bloody hell!

And then to bring another into the world when presumably she’s intending to sit on her arse and get everyone else to do the work??

Funny how you changed your tune when called on this. All about “giving her a break” and “she struggled to cope”. One of your statements isn’t true.

There is a lot of assumptions

This is an incredibly high risk strategy- why would you choose that time to pull back from the help you are offering them ?

😂 you try to paint yourself as exhausted and ground down by childcare but you are clearly having a wonderful time, and are lucky to be in very good health.

It’s fine to say you don’t want to help, you would rather take a holiday than look after your grandchild so you son can be present for the birth of your other grandchild and your DIL isn’t giving birth alone. But actions have consequences and if I were your son, I would never prioritise you again.

If you read my other posts I have said he does 100% of the childcare when he is not at work. He also does the bulk of the housework when baby goes to bed.
I go not just to give her a break, but mainly to give my son a break as she finds being pregnant and having a toddler difficult.

If you read my other posts I have said he does 100% of the childcare when he is not at work. He also does the bulk of the housework when baby goes to bed.
I go not just to give her a break, but mainly to give my son a break as she finds being pregnant and having a toddler difficult.

Go to the festival. Maybe they won't take you for granted quite so much when you get back if they've had to cope without you!

To give “her” a break? Presumably it is also to give your son a break, unless he does nothing to raise his own family or keep his own home clean?

I note you also say that your DIL struggled to cope, is that because you raised a man who doesn’t lift a finger and sees it as women’s work? Because you clearly do from your posts.

Also, 70 is nothing, my parents are in their 80s with serious health issues, and still want to come and be involved. It’s nothing to do with “not being as fit as you used to be”, and everything to do with what you prioritise.

In this case you can choose not to prioritise your grandchildren and their parents but do expect the same consideration back when you might need support.

To deal with another question. I am reasonably fit. I am in a cycling club and, spread over the week, i cycle about 100 miles per week.
Her sister would not do any childcare other than that above. She once looked after the baby for a couple of hours in an emergency until I got there.