I had an abortion in autumn after an unplanned pregnancy which happened despite taking precautions. It would have been our fourth, and was a really difficult decision to reach. Ultimately it felt like the right choice because my 3 DC are all autistic with quite high needs at the moment due to not having support at school etc. It would've been a grenade in our lives so despite desperately wanting to keep it, I chose to put my other 3 babies first.
I thought that I came to terms with this and moved passed it but the closer it gets to June the more I keep (unconsciously) marking milestones and thinking of the pregnancy that never happened. I feel so desperately sad and whilst I am trying to focus on the very valid reasons for the decision, it feels very painful.
I just wondered if anyone else has ever experienced this? When making the decision I read a lot of accounts of women who had made the same and different choices to mine, but I've not come across anyone expressing how I'm feeling just now. I'd really appreciate anyone who might be able to make me feel less alone.