To be ground down and exhausted by DS’s constant talking?

I had one like this. It was an onslaught and felt relentless. one time he was halfway through talking and did this huge long belch but somehow continued to talk, I was just like, will nothing stop you!!! ??

I really feel you, OP. My now 7 year old used to make me feel utterly overwhelmed and teary by the constant on and on and bloody on. I also felt really guilty as I found him draining and struggled to find the joy in being with him as a consequence. I tried to make sure we had some time every day where I was really tuned into him, stopped whatever else I was doing and was just led entirely by him. The rest of the time I just did my best. No grand tips I’m afraid. He’s way less tiring at 7 but still full on! I found being outside in a natural environment helped

I would look at DLD. The ordering of the speech and need to constantly repeat. There is also very little reciprocity and little empathetic awareness. He needs to learn to listen and that is hard. I really would recommend seeing a good soeech and language therapist now. Some therapeutic support now could really pay dividends.

Have you considered loop earplugs to reduce the volume and perhaps make it a bit more tolerable?

One thing I do is listen to music or a podcast in one ear and I can sort of tune in or out to the DC. If they get really rowdy I have to turn my music off because it becomes overwhelming but for tuning out it's handy.

Oh also. We are an ADHD family and I'm pretty sure youngest is too.

My brain is just like his, but I grew up in an abusively strict "kids should be seen and not heard" family so mine is a constant inner monologue and random noises and singing etc instead of it being out loud.

Whether he is doing well at school or not ADHD may be a factor. But even if it is you can still hold boundaries. Good luck

Would he listen to an audio book? Obvious not suitable for everywhere but it might help at home?

Ooh I feel your pain op. My youngest is the same! I joke I shouldn't have had kids with a chatterbox.

I find it really overstimulating and suffocating too.

Mine is 7 now and we've had a lot of time talking about MY needs as well as the kids needs. I talk to them about how constant noise makes me feel. And about how I sometimes need time to myself or quiet time. I started this with a five minute timer where he has to leave me alone in a room for five minutes.

Mine is also constantly wanting my movement and interaction so it's also fucking exhausting as well as painful on the ears and I've been clear I need rest sometimes and enforced said rest.

He's young. He can be taught though that you have boundaries.

I will admit when mine was nursery and reception age I took advantage of the odd day of childcare in the school hols purely for the sake of my own sanity but also so he had more interaction and people to talk to.

Are his siblings older or younger? Mines older siblings make it clear when they think my youngest is being too talky. Siblings can be quite handy for the brutal moments where you want to say something but don't as you're trying to be a kind and patient parent. 🤣

This does sound like ADHD. I as always getting pulled up and having comments in my ‘talkativeness’. It’s hard to control but I am
an adult so manage..just.

My five year-old son is exactly the same. He is in before and after-school club Monday to Friday pretty much every day but never stops talking 530 till 7 o’clock each evening. And my husband and I laugh that we can only just survive Saturday till Sunday evening and then he stops. 7 pm bed we both just sit there in silence. My husband does Saturday morning, and I do Sunday morning, so we each get 2 to 3 hours of peace to do what we want. We absolutely adore him by the way, but honestly not one minute goes by when there is peace.

I think it’s just a phase. Park him front of the telly.

My DS was like this. In a shop a lady once commented that he was like a radio. And he really was.
It was very wearing.
Things I insisted on
No talking while he had a mouthfull of food.
Sometimes I needed to concentrate so I would say ‘mummy needs to concentrate no talking until I say you can talk again’ then I would ignore him.
Also any silly questions I would just say ‘because it’s nice’ or try and push the question back onto him.
I really encouraged reading - he became a voracious reader. Keep him away from screens as much as possible and encourage the reading. Especially if he becomes interested in a particular topic. Mine liked those DK books with lots of facts.This company https://dk.com/pages/about-dk
Maybe go regularly to the local
library?
I personally think all this talking Is a sign of intelligence- their brains are so bursting with thoughts that they need to get out.
DC is how much less talkative but still very chatty when animated.
But it is very tiring

Solidarity. My 4.5 year old is exactly the same. Yap yap yap and really isnt interested in a conversation, just wants you to listen and give him attention morning noon and night. Weve tried asking for quite time, telling him we cant answer questions when we are in the middle of a job, watching something ect , nothing works apart from snapping like you said and then you feel shit. I actually have to hide to eat my meals so that I can swallow without having to answer a question. We are beyond exhausted, he doesnt go to school until September and im dreading it because I dont think he will stay quite for anyone

My DS is 10 and never shuts up! I blank
some of it out if he starts talking about games on the Xbox. I am chatty but not that bad

So I think it is important to mention neurodiversity, because you know, he might be!

Otherwise, sympathies OP.

DD1 (11yo) is clever, pretty, sociable, active, well-rounded.... but oh, my God, the yakking!!

We constantly joke about it "it's 6pm, Mummy has switched off for the evening now" etc but yes it is wearing.

I took her to see Wicked 2 a couple of months back, and she literally started talking as I backed the car out of the drive, through our town, to a nearby city, whilst I parked, whilst we walked through the city to the cinema..
O
I think it was 40 mins straight!

My general approach is to try and understand that she needs to talk, and indulge it for some time, but then say very clearly and nicely

"DD1. You have been talking for quite a bit! It was nice to hear about <whatever> but now Mummy wants to read my book / have a bath. I want to be quiet now. Are you okay to find something else to do now please?"

But she is 11 and it is a ways to get there from 5!

Things that helped me:

Get outside - it always seems easier outside
Do something you enjoy - I liked children's books and Lego, so we did lots of both
Invite one of his friends over to play
Invite one of your friends over to have some conversation with and break up the tedium

Go to the cinema together?

With my DS I also get him asking for really granular detailed answers on topics that I just don’t know that much about! And not being satisfied with “I don’t know” - he’ll just ask the question another way. I end up saying “that is all the information I have on that topic!”

And directing him towards Google! I am not Google!

My DS is a chatterbox but doesn't ask the same thing over and over again within seconds. He's more likely to bring up random concepts like "What should you do if you come across a beehive? Would they sting you? Would you go to heaven? What if it was a million beehives?..."

I know someone said "someone will mention ND" but my cousin's little boy is being assessed for ASD age 7 and does a lot of this round and round repetition of questions or statements within a few sentences, with the stutter on I/my.

I’m sorry to be the one (or one of the ones) to mention ADHD, but my first thought was my DS who has ADHD and never stops talking! And then when he’s with his Dad he never stops phoning (he’s 12)!

Obviously could be nothing to do with ND but it is a very common think in those who do have ADHD.

I think as they get older you can explain to them that you sometimes need peace and quiet, but it’s important that you frame
it as a you/ other people thing and not a “you’re so awful, you never stop talking, verbal diarrhoea” etc way. Kids with ADHD do get a lot of negative messages and it’s important not to reinforce this as it’s terrible for their self esteem.

Something more like “I’m someone who needs silences, some other people are like that, it’s just what a lot of people need” is better.

Edit - oh and often the reason certain parents can’t stand it is being ND ourselves and needing to be able to zone out! So it’s a perfect storm 😂

I have 3 yappers. I recommend audio books with headphones for them, and disassociation for you.

Well yeah, of course it's tedious and dull. I mentioned videogames and rap because I can't remember anything memorable DS talked about before he was about 10! And even then, I have no interest in his interests (although I did question him as a teen about why he liked them and that was interesting - plus the only way to get him to listen to my side of the conversation!!).

Are you getting enough time to yourself? Is it feeling particularly difficult at the moment because it's school holidays?

I would be brutal with the food situation. Spraying food everywhere through talking is completely unacceptable and as PP said, it increases the risk of choking. I'd make a 'no noise' symbol and put it in front of him while he eats. If he starts making noise or talking, take the food away until he is quiet again.

He's probably exhausted with trying to stay quiet at school, so can let go and be himself at home. It could be an ASD trait, but I'm no way an expert. I just have a child who was finally diagnosed AuDHD at 15 and I wish we'd sought more info/ help sooner.