Am I being petty?

It's unreasonable to expect everyone else to cancel a trip they were looking forward to because you cannot go. Why can't you celebrate when they get back?

Er, OP, you see them often and you are "not big" on adult birthdays, so you say.
And I guess they're working, so rearranging dates isn't easy for them.

It sounds like your expectations are much higher than you actually say they are, so your family probably don't realise that it's apparently a big deal for you.
Don't be a burning martyr - let them enjoy their holiday and arrange something fun to do by yourself on your birthday, or meet a friend. It's just one day, after all.... you can catch up with the family another time.

You’re 70 for a whole year, yes it’s disappointing that you can no longer go but it does seem petty to begrudge your family who have spent money and set aside time to make the holiday. It’s not their fault (and I presume not yours either) that you can no longer make it. I’d wish them a great time and organise something else a week or two later.

If someone is paying for a holiday then it is their holiday.

You expected them to pay for a holiday abroad for your birthday, then cancel it at a cost of (at least) £35 pp, and then pay again to take you on a weekend away or similar? Really?

They're going out for dinner on your birthday despite you having cancelled the original plans. Is that really not enough?

That's thoughtless behaviour OP, I'm sorry.

The original holiday was in May. They changed it to having to leave in the early hours of the day after without thinking how it would affect t me, maybe I'd have liked to go out for a nice dinner, it's notcevery day you're 70.

Could they not change the dates?

Name change fail, OP.

Yes, it's frustrating you are too unwell to go. No, you shouldn't begrudge them all going seeing as everyone planned it and was OK to go.

Just pick another celebration for your birthday to replace it. It doesn't have to be on the day - your original holiday plan wasn't.

It's not their fault you became ill. Again,I empathise with being pissed off with illness, but not at being mad at the family.

I understand it's disappointing, but on balance I think I would want them to go.
It's no small feat for everyone to coordinate holidays at the same time when they have busy lives/careers. As it happens we are doing the same thing in May for my husband's 70th birthday and it took quite some organizing

Just choose another day….🫤

I’m not big on birthdays, even big birthdays, but this would really piss me off!

They changed it to Monday April 20th as I said in my original post, which means they'll be busy doing last minute stuff for the holiday and getting up at 3am for their flights.

Maybe I dont understand the OP but I don’t see what the problem is? They aren’t going over your birthday so won’t be missing that. You’ll see them on the day. You say you expected more than a lunch but also that you are unable to go away? It sounds like the lunch is appropriate in those circumstances and there is no reason to begrudge others a trip because you can’t go.

But they wouldn't have been going on the holiday if it wasn't a gift for the OP! The holiday was supposed to be about her. Not about them! It s not their holiday.

Because you are still seeing them on your birthday.
I would be pleased that they are going on holiday.

They have given her a gift, she said yes, now her circumstances have changed and she can't use th gift. No reason her adult children still can't go on holiday together.

I totally get being gutted not to go. But I wouldn't expect everyone else to give up their holiday (and waste annual leave) as a result.

@mondaytosunday I didn't get the impression the OP is paying for other people. It's a present TO her, not from her, but her ill health means she can't go anymore.

Absolutely OP.
They have given you a gift and , in effect, taken it away again.
An absolutely unpleasant and weird thing to do.

So your birthday is April 19th and the trip is booked for May? If you can't go on the trip and they still can, it would be daft for them to miss out on a holiday. Why wouldn't they still go?

Reframe it - yes, you'll see them briefly on your birthday, but the real celebration will be the weekend that you've yet to book (or theatre trip or whatever else appeals to you.)

If you've had to pull out of a holiday for everyone because of ill health, I don't think it's fair that everyone else suffers too .

Wow. I would have cancelled the trip then told them! Would they have arranged annual leave? Or was it a short break with minimal disruptions (hiring pet sitters etc).
Either way I think it’s plenty of notice for May for them to cancel things without penalty. As it’s on YOUR dime too this really is outrageous. Especially as it’s your health preventing you from going, I’d be bending over backwards to support you and make sure you have a great birthday.

Who is going on the trip?

How much time do they spend together generally ie is it siblings (your children) and cousins (your grandchildren) who normally can’t arrange to all be together at the same time?