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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for not wanting to cancel our holiday for baby shower?

111 replies

magicseahorse · 06/04/2026 14:53

hey

My partner & i booked a long weekend with friends last September and we have now been informed that his eldest daughter is having her baby shower that weekend. It's the first grandchild on his side of the family and I have been "told" that the baby shower is more important than a holiday.

AIBU because I don't want to cancel my holiday? The in-laws help heavily with them (they stay a 3 hours drive away) so the date picked would be suited for his side of the family rather than hers. It was messaged the other night that the date of choice (but it "probably" will be) is 6 weeks away.

Whilst I understand the excitement of the first grandchild, I feel my partner & his family are never considered in dates and I have to drop everything to rush there too.

Was just needing to get this off my chest before there is an argument.

OP posts:
WinterSunglasses · 06/04/2026 15:21

Crumpled86 · 06/04/2026 15:10

I would just inform them that the date doesn't work for you as holiday is already booked.If they can change it great and if not, then oh well.

Plus it's a holiday with friends so you're disrupting them as well if you cancel.

Are you actually invited? Don't mean that unkindly but AFAIK a baby shower (they were not around in my day so not an expert) is for her friends, sisters, mum and other female relatives. Would her dad and his partner need to be there?

UninitendedShark · 06/04/2026 15:17

Thank god baby showers didn’t exist when i had my kids. Don’t get me started on gender reveals. All utter nonsense.

Mogbiscuit · 06/04/2026 15:16

Of course you should not cancel your holiday.

ColdAsAWitches · 06/04/2026 15:14

I have been "told" that the baby shower is more important than a holiday

Told by who? If it's not your partner, then ignore them.

Credittocress · 06/04/2026 15:13

What does your partner think? Would your response be different if it was your child rather than step-child?

Drpawpawspaw · 06/04/2026 15:12

Cannot stand baby showers or gender reveals so zero chance Inwould be rearranging a holiday for one. what happens if you say we have plans on that weekend, can you move the date - as currently it is not fixed?

thepariscrimefiles · 06/04/2026 15:12

Would you get your money back if you cancelled your holiday?

You wouldn't be unreasonable to say no because you booked the holiday ages ago and they didn't consult you or your DH to ensure that they didn't book the baby shower on a day that you aren't available.

What would the reaction be if you said you couldn't attend due to the already booked holiday?

Crumpled86 · 06/04/2026 15:10

I would just inform them that the date doesn't work for you as holiday is already booked.If they can change it great and if not, then oh well.

ridingfreely · 06/04/2026 15:06

This has been posted before

JackA · 06/04/2026 14:55

YANBU - I’m not a huge fan of baby showers so I would calmly but firmly say that you have had a holiday booked for 8 months and you can’t move it but why don’t you arrange a date for you to take her out for lunch or something before the baby is born.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/04/2026 14:55

Who told you?