AIBU for not wanting to cancel our holiday for baby shower?

This sounds a power play to me by the daughter.

it’s not a tradition. Certainly not for men. Even the father of the expectant mother.

and if attendance is obligatory it’s not really appropriate to ask you to move holiday. It’s a damn sight easier to shift the baby shower

Well he stays home and you go. A baby shower is hardly her giving birth and meeting your new grandchild its just a couple of hours of making small talk!

Wouldn't miss a holiday to go to my own child's baby shower. Luckily they haven't fallen prey to this grabby nonsense anyway.

Please let your husband know that to most mature people, baby showers are just a cheap gimmick, in order to get presents, before the baby's actual birth, and it is traditional to only have other woman at it. Unfortunately the vast majority of them are also trashy, and I can't actually understand why any expectant mothers would wish to put themselves through it.

To cancel a holiday because of a baby shower, even one's own daughter's, just gives out completely the wrong message as far as I am concerned. It makes your husband look as if he lives with too much guilt that he wasn't around for her enough before she even got pregnant. If your husband is suffering from too much guilt - or even well earned guilt, there are lots of more appropriate ways for him to try to make it up to her. Cancelling a holiday for a baby shower that didn't even have to be over the same dates as your holiday, is not one of them.

If my DH was to do something like that to me, I think it could well be the start of the ick for me, whether I would let him know that is another matter. If his daughter was still a young child, that he had left, presumably with her mother, then I would think very differently about it. But she is a grown woman - presumably - and she is having one of the least important parties in her lifetime, so if you can afford it, he should tell her that he will be giving her circa £1000 (I did say if he could afford it) so that she could have a reasonable choice of a pram, car seat, or a cot, ready and waiting to be delivered after the baby's birth.

I wouldn't for one moment consider cancelling a holiday for a baby shower. That's madness.

In my experience a baby shower is a few hours sitting around making polite conversation and eating some buffet food. They're OK but certainly not worthy of cancelling a booked and paid for holiday for.

You just message "Thanks for the invitation. We would love to have attended but unfortunately we're away on holiday at that time. We hope it goes well." Job done.

As a man this was my thought.

and why can’t they change the Day of the baby shower if grandads attendance is so vital?

I didn't think men went to baby showers - I have only been to a couple a d they are boring, I certainly wouldn't miss a holiday for one.

Why would anyone cancel a holiday for a baby shower?

A baby shower isn’t important enough for that.

I didn't go to my daughter's baby showers. They were very low key affairs with a few of her friends.
I don't see them as very important events.
Go on your holiday and enjoy it

No way would I cancel a holiday for a baby shower!! Baby showers are very low down my list of priorities. Weird that he’s going as men usually don’t. Is it like an afternoon tea type thing?! He ma change his mind. Big you should definitely go on the holiday!!!

Has your partner even told his daighter that the date clashes with a prebooked, non refundable holiday?

Is there anyway he can do both? Get a later flight or return earlier than you.

I can understand why he would want to be there (even if baby showers are s load of faf).

I would not miss my own child’s shower though she would have asked if the date was agreeable.

Definitely don't cancel a holiday for a baby shower. Each to their own but they're very tacky and pointless. Gifts and celebrations can take place when the baby arrives. It's not like you're going away around her due date is it?

Cancel holiday for a baby shower, not a chance ! They are just a new fad for attention seeking mothers to be. Load of old coblers in my opinion.

It took me years to concieve my daughter. With a lot of ivf. And my baby shower none of my family could make it I honestly didn’t care. As I had my friends. So I wouldn’t cancel a holiday for it.

where I’m from it’s almost considered bad luck to be getting loads of baby gifts before the baby is born. DSIL -
American- had a baby registry with an upmarket dept store and although we chipped in for a bigger item I did find it all a bit odd to be asking for $100s for equipment and luxuries before the baby was safely here .

Don’t cancel your holiday. If he wants to go along with this self indulgent crap, he can crack on.

It is incredibly unfair for him to expect you to forego your holiday to attend something like that.

I didn’t even like the surprise baby shower my in-laws threw me - I know were trying to be sweet but the enforced ‘fun’ watching a heavily pregnant woman unwrap presents was dull even formme!

Well, I wouldn’t but I think these gender reveals and baby showers are just Insta fodder.

Go on holiday! Tell them it was booked. Go without DP if necessary. Baby showers are soooo boring, everyone cooing over baby grps and blankets. !

I’ve never seen a man at a baby shower before!

Goodness all he needs to say is we are on holiday that weekend. Surely they could have had the sense to check first before booking.

What has changed since the last time you posted this?

Definitely let him crack on.
I would think you are setting a ridiculous precedent that you and your life doesn't matter.
No way would i forgo a holiday for a baby shower.
I think they are the most tedious invention, thankfully after my time.

Stay firm, calm and strong.
Go on your own.

Will your friends still want or be able to go on the holiday if you and your DH cancel?

Could you go with the friends while your DH attends the baby shower?

Tell your partner he can go on his own and enjoy the mindless, American crap of a baby shower complete with his DD's cooing girlfriends and hilarious quizzes and games. Who the fuck imported this tat? Whilst you go on holiday OP with your friends - simples.