When you have family staying, would you do this?

I think it depends on the relationship - when DSis stays we carry on as normal because she’s here for work/to see DM and doesn’t expect to be ‘hosted’. I think that’s what it comes down to actually, whether you have expectations around being hosted or whether you are happy to muck in and find your own entertainment. Sounds like you are one type of person and your DH is the other! It’s the same with us, I’m from a ‘muck in’ family, DH is from a ‘need hosting’ family - their visits are quite tiring!

No, I wouldn't go to the gym or a class if I had guests visiting from abroad. Unless they were fond of that type thing and I had passes and was inviting them to join me. Then if they didn't want to I wouldn't.

I suppose there might be some medical reason like if the gym was at a hospital for physio purposes. But otherwise it's a bit impolite to do your own hobbies when you've got visitors.

I think they could probably dropped some of their usual classes just for the 2 days. It sounds like a lot.

I travel an hour each way to see my brother and his family every month or two, he spends a lot of the visit in different rooms just getting on with daily tasks and I think he'd be the same as your ILs even if we'd travelled further!

I don’t cancel my plans just because Dh invites people to stay. Okay, yes, if I specifically invited my own friends or family, I would probably make that time to spend with them. But it depends on if they invited you for those specific days or you invited yourself and told them what days you were coming?

I pay for my dc’s activities by the term though so they don’t miss them because we have houseguests. One of them plays a competitive sport and literally cannot miss sessions as per the contract we’ve signed.

But if dh’s family visits I only spend maybe 50-60% of the time with them. Dh can entertain his own family. I can’t take time off and rearrange stuff everytime someone comes to visit. If they are anything like us and live in a desirable tourist area, they get a lot of requests to stay, it can be quite full on and I just don’t rearrange life around people visiting anymore.

Totally agree with above. It depends whether you invited yourself or they invited you.

Depends if they invited you to stay or if you asked if you could stay because you’re in the area

Hmm I think it would be quite odd to be expected to be with visitors 24/7 for a visit. It's really not necessary and you weren't left to fend for yourselves.

Th gymnastics in particular is a paid for activity and I don't like my daughter to miss her clubs except for me exceptional circumstances, and I don't include visitors in that

If family has travelled 5 hours to see us and we only see them twice a year, and they are only staying with us for 48 hours - then no, I would not go out to a yoga/aerobics/ whatever class. I’d make a lovely, balanced itinerary around the kids, with a mix of doing stuff out of the house and doing stuff at home. With really yummy meals.

@canklesmctacotits
Not unreasonable of them imo.
My dsis lives in Greece, I visit every year, I don't stay with her (she offers) as I like to be near the beach.
I don't see her every day as she has a life out there, we meet for meals, a day trip, she comes to the beach for a day.
Life goes on, people have commitments and plans, I think if you visit you need to fit in around their lives, your DH is being daft

Agree, I think it’s weird to not be tbh.

If I had friends or relatives staying for just a couple of days, then no I wouldn't carry on as normal. I'd probably take them out and about or have a BBQ or something. If they were staying for longer then yes, life goes on.

ofc DH would say that but he’s not in this situation is he?

did you suggest you visit ?

they’re working full time, give them a break

For a mutually agreed visit that's just two days long I think it's a bit rude. If it's just a case of you turning up using them as a base on a date that suits you it's less so.

I'd probably do it. I wouldn't want to be with people all day. I need a bit of a break from being sociable, it exhausts me.

For just a 2-day visit, I think this means stuff like the gym should get cancelled - same as if you get invited over for dinner one evening, you wouldn’t then expect the host to fuck off to pilates that evening.

I’d be a bit miffed OP. I’d be fine with the kids class but I think parents should have stayed home (unless a team sport where they’d be letting others down sort of thing).

I personally would cancel this type of activity in this circumstance.

I’d be a bit disappointed if someone I saw once a year, for 2 days, couldn’t miss something that isn’t essential. I could understand work/medical apps etc.

Yanbu if I had family I hardly see come all that way I'd clear my schedule and spend the time with them

Did you invite yourselves? I wouldn’t expect people to cancel things they wanted to do over their long weekend, if I’d invited myself.

Do they live somewhere very touristy?

I know you only visit them once a year but if they have a lot of people asking to visit but really wanting to use them as a base, maybe they’ve got used to just carrying on.

Youre staying with them for just 2 nights then it is kinda rude of them

If you were only there for 2 nights and only see them once a year it’s not too much to expect them to be present whilst you are there

When you are staying with friends or family you dont have to live in one anothers pockets. I used to stay with friends in Casablanca who had to work in the daytime. So it was up to me to amuse myself, which I did. I also went away to other cities. So I suppose they could have complained that I was using them as a hotel. However we did spend some time together in the evenings and at the weekend. I would not want to spend 24 hours a day in the presence of my house guests. Im sure they were glad that I was confident enough to go off on my own to different cities in Morocco and book myself into a hotel.