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AIBU to question pronouns and gender options on a job application?

66 replies

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 12:43

I have just attempted to fill out an online job application which asked for my pronouns (5 options) and gave me six options for my gender. These questions were optional but the application did not ask me for my sex.
It’s made think how none of these questions even make sense.

I am a woman because of my biology, nothing more nothing less. What does it mean living as a woman and using female pronouns if you are not female. I can’t think of any other question an employer would ask that has no definition.

AIBU to think that the phrase living as a woman should actually read living as a stereotype of a woman through a male lens. And visa versa. And these questions have no place on job applications.

If employers are looking for diversity they should also ask applicants their biological sex because women are still underpaid and under represented in many/most well paid industries. They should be using this accurate data to ensure fairness.

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 06/04/2026 16:32

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:29

Because one is a protected characteristic if the person is trans, and the other is not.

Because one is a thing that some people actually choose and the other is a fantasy in your own mind.

There is no protected characteristic of 'being trans'. The protected characteristic is undergoing transition, that's about avoiding discrimination and has absolutely zero to do with pronouns.

People choose all sorts of fantasy things, it doesn't mean we pay any attention to them

Alltheprettyseahorses · 06/04/2026 16:31

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:16

If you find using a pronoun “jumping through hoops” I’d have you down as a nightmare employee. How on earth do you function if that’s so difficult for you?

I knle who the problem employee would be and it certainly wouldn't be me. Pronouns are a function of the English language and are used for accurate communication. Forced misuse renders communication impossible. If a customer needs a specific employee, telling them to speak to xi/xir over there isn't getting them anywhere. This is what you get when people are told to bring their whole self to work instead of only their professional self.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:31

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:30

Power play? Are you sure you know what that phrase means?

Missed a 🤣 off this one.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:30

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 16:19

What a power play.

Power play? Are you sure you know what that phrase means?

LeedsLoiner · 06/04/2026 16:29

Simple answer - if you don’t like how the application works then don’t apply for a job there.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:29

TheKeatingFive · 06/04/2026 16:25

Why is that a 'ridiculously exaggerated red herring' yet being expected to refer to a man as 'she/her' not?

Because one is a protected characteristic if the person is trans, and the other is not.

Because one is a thing that some people actually choose and the other is a fantasy in your own mind.

TheKeatingFive · 06/04/2026 16:25

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:12

Given there was no box for it, nor an option to state it, it wouldn’t be on a job application. Also, because it was ridiculously exaggerated red herring.

Why is that a 'ridiculously exaggerated red herring' yet being expected to refer to a man as 'she/her' not?

TinyRebel · 06/04/2026 16:21

For the gender identity questions I always tick ‘other’ and write “I do not have a ‘gender identity’ but for data gathering purposes, my sex is female.”

I’d probably put “I/Me/Mine” for pronouns if I could free text it, otherwise leave blank!

This is when I am completing questionnaires though. Although I’d probably do the same for job application forms these days too.

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 16:19

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:15

He thought he was making such a good point too.

Although, I’m thinking “high empress ot the universe” might be my new title.

What a power play.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:16

Alltheprettyseahorses · 06/04/2026 16:15

Yes they are. They are expecting employers and colleagues to jump through hoops. It's a power play, seeing what they can get away with.

If you find using a pronoun “jumping through hoops” I’d have you down as a nightmare employee. How on earth do you function if that’s so difficult for you?

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 16:16

Alltheprettyseahorses · 06/04/2026 16:15

Yes they are. They are expecting employers and colleagues to jump through hoops. It's a power play, seeing what they can get away with.

What hoops?

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:15

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 16:14

They have just invented a person to be annoyed at. Grin

He thought he was making such a good point too.

Although, I’m thinking “high empress ot the universe” might be my new title.

Alltheprettyseahorses · 06/04/2026 16:15

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 16:01

They are not enforcing anything.

Yes they are. They are expecting employers and colleagues to jump through hoops. It's a power play, seeing what they can get away with.

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 16:14

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:12

Given there was no box for it, nor an option to state it, it wouldn’t be on a job application. Also, because it was ridiculously exaggerated red herring.

They have just invented a person to be annoyed at. Grin

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:12

CornishPorsche · 06/04/2026 16:08

In no real world scenario would that application make it through a first sift. It has "nightmare employee" written all over it.

Given there was no box for it, nor an option to state it, it wouldn’t be on a job application. Also, because it was ridiculously exaggerated red herring.

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 16:09

CornishPorsche · 06/04/2026 16:06

They are. They are ensuring compliance if you want a job.

Nonsense. You tick "prefer not to say" and move on to the rest of your application.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:08

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 15:47

How is a male who refers to himself as they them and non binary a minority?

A large number of males on your life do this?

CornishPorsche · 06/04/2026 16:08

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:05

Yep. If that’s what they want to be called. No skin off my nose.

In no real world scenario would that application make it through a first sift. It has "nightmare employee" written all over it.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:08

CornishPorsche · 06/04/2026 16:06

They are. They are ensuring compliance if you want a job.

No they aren’t. They are asking people to fill in equalities data. It is entirely voluntary.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:07

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 15:54

But they can ask for pronouns?

Yes. Because that doesn’t come under the “protected characteristics” of the Equality Act.

CornishPorsche · 06/04/2026 16:06

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 16:01

They are not enforcing anything.

They are. They are ensuring compliance if you want a job.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:05

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 15:48

regarding my gender, ‘prefer not to say' would be a lie. I don’t have a gender, i have a sex

In which case, you prefer not to say. Or, just don’t tick the box.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:05

TheKeatingFive · 06/04/2026 15:28

What if someone preferred you to refer to them as 'their most excellency, master of the universe' - that made them feel comfortable. Would you be a dick to ignore that?

Yep. If that’s what they want to be called. No skin off my nose.

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:04

plantcomplex · 06/04/2026 15:27

No, it is quite different because one requires you to accept their ideology as fact and the other doesn't.

No it doesn’t. It requires me to address them as they prefer. Both are the same thing. Jennifer is not Jenny, why would it be ok for me to call her that?

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 06/04/2026 16:02

Seems an original post for MN.

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