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AIBU?

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AIBU to question pronouns and gender options on a job application?

66 replies

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 12:43

I have just attempted to fill out an online job application which asked for my pronouns (5 options) and gave me six options for my gender. These questions were optional but the application did not ask me for my sex.
It’s made think how none of these questions even make sense.

I am a woman because of my biology, nothing more nothing less. What does it mean living as a woman and using female pronouns if you are not female. I can’t think of any other question an employer would ask that has no definition.

AIBU to think that the phrase living as a woman should actually read living as a stereotype of a woman through a male lens. And visa versa. And these questions have no place on job applications.

If employers are looking for diversity they should also ask applicants their biological sex because women are still underpaid and under represented in many/most well paid industries. They should be using this accurate data to ensure fairness.

OP posts:
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LlynTegid · 06/04/2026 19:42

Accurate data on the pay and other gaps between women and men was one reason given by the Tories for exercising the veto on the Scottish Parliament Gender Recognition Bill. Which whilst not the real reason for the Tories action is a valid one. (The real reason was because the bill was an SNP idea).

Depending who the employer is, consider a complaint on the grounds that the law is not being followed. Asking sex and then gender perhaps, but not as you experienced.

UniquePinkSwan · 06/04/2026 19:40

I really don’t care about stuff like this.

Chaibiscuits · 06/04/2026 19:36

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 19:20

We all understand that our concerns will not be heard.

we are getting there though and I’m delighted that the IOC have finally seen sense.

Im sure you will be feeling very kind though.
well done.

Well you keep up the good fight!

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 19:20

Chaibiscuits · 06/04/2026 19:16

Well it wasn’t meant to be quiet but thank you anyway. I’m glad you understand

We all understand that our concerns will not be heard.

we are getting there though and I’m delighted that the IOC have finally seen sense.

Im sure you will be feeling very kind though.
well done.

OP posts:
Chaibiscuits · 06/04/2026 19:16

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 19:04

you just said the quiet bit out loud!

well done

Well it wasn’t meant to be quiet but thank you anyway. I’m glad you understand

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 19:04

Chaibiscuits · 06/04/2026 18:42

Oh! 😂 Well good luck with your complaint. I’m sure you’ll be taken very seriously

you just said the quiet bit out loud!

well done

OP posts:
Chaibiscuits · 06/04/2026 18:42

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 18:33

Totally indoctrinated.

🙄

Oh! 😂 Well good luck with your complaint. I’m sure you’ll be taken very seriously

Katypp · 06/04/2026 18:37

For the love of God, how does anyone have the headspace to get worked up about things like this?
It must be utterly exhausting.

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 18:33

Chaibiscuits · 06/04/2026 18:27

I don’t understand your point, sorry.

Totally indoctrinated.

🙄

OP posts:
Chaibiscuits · 06/04/2026 18:27

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 18:14

😂

Pot kettle comes to mind

I don’t understand your point, sorry.

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 18:14

Chaibiscuits · 06/04/2026 17:54

The world doesn’t revolve around you and how you see yourself. The application form is inclusive and for everyone

😂

Pot kettle comes to mind

OP posts:
Chaibiscuits · 06/04/2026 17:54

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 15:48

regarding my gender, ‘prefer not to say' would be a lie. I don’t have a gender, i have a sex

The world doesn’t revolve around you and how you see yourself. The application form is inclusive and for everyone

CornishPorsche · 06/04/2026 17:40

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 17:04

Ve/Ver/Vis
Zie/Hir/Hirs
He/Him/His
She/Her/hers
They/Them/Their

Unless absolutely desperate, I wouldn't apply for that job. It's not a workplace I'd want to be part of.

Evaka · 06/04/2026 17:32

Argh, it's optional. Don't answer if you prefer not to engage. I've never in my 20-odd year career completed one of those twatting surveys as they make fuck all difference to the overwhelming dominance of white, privileged, privately educated people within my field.

catspyjamas1 · 06/04/2026 17:26

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 17:06

That’s not very inclusive

Exactly.

catspyjamas1 · 06/04/2026 17:25

TinyRebel · 06/04/2026 16:21

For the gender identity questions I always tick ‘other’ and write “I do not have a ‘gender identity’ but for data gathering purposes, my sex is female.”

I’d probably put “I/Me/Mine” for pronouns if I could free text it, otherwise leave blank!

This is when I am completing questionnaires though. Although I’d probably do the same for job application forms these days too.

Edited

Coping this briliant response for my current job applications - thank you!

catspyjamas1 · 06/04/2026 17:22

Hi @Felinefoster I’m also job hunting after leading a team of 20+ people until a few months ago. A few things come to mind.

  • When the company was reporting on sex pay gap and other DEI initiatives, they explicitly stated it was difficult to develop policies and take action for specific employees without having the data. Having optional criteria like sex, gender, disability, race etc. etc. can hamper companies understanding their employee base via data and acting accordingly. I understand and appreciate that.
  • HOWEVER! I am sick of seeing multiple “genders” to pick from and not sex, and pronouns 🙄 so yes, OP, it’s annoying and counter productive when it comes to sex pay gap, promotion etc. measurement because allowing anyone to opt in to “gender = women” skews the data. I bristle when I see emails from recruiters with pronouns. One a couple of weeks ago had an entire paragraph about pronouns and their "inclusivity" as a company. I now take extra time to look at their careers pages and 'culture' to see what type of company it's likely to be...
  • Yesterday, I was browsing LinkedIn for jobs and one, in the headline title, was “XYZ job – ALL GENDERS WELCOME”. WTF and why?!!

While I’m not going to spend time contacting every company for every job I apply for (see #2 and #3 above) about their criteria for job applicants (which is essentially, data collection), I will and have challenged terrible policies and data collection at the companies I’ve worked for once there (most recently: terrible menopause policy and communications to include “all genders”. I won the argument and all policies and communications were properly updated for 10+ employees).

In short, I feel you and agree. Is this the best use of your time imo? No. Is it the best use of your time to fight the battle once you've got a job somewhere? Yes! I've had a few surprising victories in the last five years!

singthing · 06/04/2026 17:16

BoredZelda · 06/04/2026 16:08

No they aren’t. They are asking people to fill in equalities data. It is entirely voluntary.

If it's all about the equalities data gathering, then that form should be entirely separate to the application form and so how would anyone know if you had selected special pronouns to dictate how others refer to you?

But if it is on the application form, then completing it in any way (including "prefer not to say" indicates you subscribe to that ideology. And as we know (Forstater), not believing in that ideology is itself a protected belief so that question should not be on there in that form.

Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 17:07

jen337 · 06/04/2026 16:39

I voted Yabu because although I find these questions annoying too, I just tick “prefer not to say” and move on with my life, without needing to perform it on MN.

But that would be a lie.

I don’t prefer not to say I just don’t have a gender identity

OP posts:
Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 17:06

LeedsLoiner · 06/04/2026 16:29

Simple answer - if you don’t like how the application works then don’t apply for a job there.

That’s not very inclusive

OP posts:
Felinefoster · 06/04/2026 17:04

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 15:57

What were the five options?

Ve/Ver/Vis
Zie/Hir/Hirs
He/Him/His
She/Her/hers
They/Them/Their

OP posts:
Mt563 · 06/04/2026 16:54

LeedsLoiner · 06/04/2026 16:29

Simple answer - if you don’t like how the application works then don’t apply for a job there.

You'd have very few jobs to apply for, most ask for voluntary completion of diversity information. You can decline but to reject any company that even asks would leave you slim pickings in my experience.

TooBored1 · 06/04/2026 16:40

Perhaps you don't have the mindset they want.

jen337 · 06/04/2026 16:39

I voted Yabu because although I find these questions annoying too, I just tick “prefer not to say” and move on with my life, without needing to perform it on MN.

TicklishReader · 06/04/2026 16:33

Alltheprettyseahorses · 06/04/2026 16:31

I knle who the problem employee would be and it certainly wouldn't be me. Pronouns are a function of the English language and are used for accurate communication. Forced misuse renders communication impossible. If a customer needs a specific employee, telling them to speak to xi/xir over there isn't getting them anywhere. This is what you get when people are told to bring their whole self to work instead of only their professional self.

You can always point.

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