AIBU to want to hire a cleaner and to get some paid decorating help?

We’ve had a cleaner pretty much since the start of our careers when our household income was only c £50,000, ultimately it was never about the cost or what we were earning, we were working full time and outsourcing literally buys you time, the most valuable commodity you can have.

How could you ever feel ashamed for wanting to spend less time cleaning and painting and more time with your child? That’s the way I see it.

We almost always get a decorator in, the taping up drives me mad, I’m not patient enough.

YANBU at all. We had a cleaner until recently, she wasn’t all that great so we let her go. I have other financial priorities just now so haven’t got another one, but I really miss it. Having a cleaner really focuses the mind on keeping the house tidy though - we always had a tidy round the night before she came so it was easier for her to clean.

Definite yes to getting decorators in. They can do it so much faster than you. I want to give our home a freshen up, it will probably take all year to find free weekends to do it. Arranging decorators will be an incentive to properly declutter and find storage solutions for stuff.

Difficult if one of you not on board though. Why not compromise and try a cleaner for a couple of months to see how it goes. Get a couple of main rooms decorated professionally and give yourselves x months to do the rest?

Professional decorators make a huge difference to the finish. We have two rooms in our house that we painted ourselves before deciding to get professionals in to do the rest. I regularly look at the two diy rooms and wish I wanted to change the colour or something to make it worth getting someone in to redo them.

Cleaners are also amazing.

Absolutely do it.

two tips:

before you start decorating really think critically about your storage. It’s so much easier to keep on top of everything when you have space for everything.

get a robo vacuum/mop. As an owner of a sheddy dog running this daily is an absolute fave changer

To put it into context, we earn a lot less and have a mortgage of around £22k per year. And much worse pensions than you.

We still use a cleaner and decorators.

Your husband is being ridiculous. He is obviously not self-aware and does not realise that, if he were capable of what he is suggesting is the best way, it would already have been done long ago and by him. He is not capable.

You are far too busy.

Your family is rich, and what you are proposing is very modest.

Sorry, but that could have been condensed into 1 paragraph OP!

We are having painting done after a major renovation. DH and I are painting inside the shed, but for the house, we are paying a professional. His cutting in is so much sharper than us, plus he is much quicker. I'd prefer to pay him for 2 days of work which would take me 4 days to do myself. I agree that it can be a case of your DH feeling guilty/embarrassed that he isn't doing the DIY type things due to be a man.

As for a cleaner- why not? You work long hours, have young children and can afford it. What about saying to DH you will trial it for 3mths, 6mths etc?

oh god yes absolutely get someone in and have your whole house nicely decorated it's where you spend most of your time! Your house is paid for and you earn good money - do it.

£130k and no mortgage?! You're laughing!

How do you want to spend your limited free time?

With your child having fun, or decorating and cleaning?

I know my answer. There's no medal for doing all the cleaning and tidying yourself.

Also you'd be helping to give other people employment at a difficult time. It's trickle down economics actually working for once.

I'd go further and get a professional declutterer in to sort the house too (or get a smallish mortgage and move somewhere bigger and nicer tbh)

Good for your friend if she’s happy that way, but personally I find what she’s saying very odd. Get the help in, and definitely don’t feel ashamed!

Some people enjoy cleaning, hence why they do it as a job. My Mum loved ironing, I hate it. I don't see it as being lazy to make your life easier, otherwise get rid of the dishwasher, don't drive a car but walk or ride a bike instead. Surely that is also laziness. My Grandmother hand washed everything until the day she died and that included bedding. The week she died my Grandad bought a washing machine and installed a shower over the bath. He was gleeful about it.

Your Dh doesn't get everything his way, you want a cleaner, organise it and pay for it. What you are getting back is your time. Time to do other things. Maybe that will help with organisation and you will feel less overwhelmed by it all.

Professional decorators are also great and fast. It can be done whilst both of you are working instead of carving out time to move furniture, prep walls, clean and then paint.

I think some men see it as their role to do DIY or decorate and having someone in to do it is in some way emasculating. I grew up in a house where my Dad cooked and my Mum did the DIY. I came into this marriage with a lot of DIY skills, Dh didn't because his parents had enough money to afford professional decorators and handy people to fix things. Just go over his head and sort it.

I think get the decorator and DIY man in.

Once you have a nicely decorated home you’ll be more inclined to keep on top of the housework and also be able to enjoy your home.

If you still need help with cleaning from there, yes, go for that too.

What's wrong with outsourcing things you either a) don't want to do or b) aren't very good at? If I've read the OP correctly you're not claiming to not have time, so your DH's argument doesn't really make sense.

Lots of things are wasteful if you want to make the argument. Do you only buy the cheapest cuts of meat, and bulk them out with lentils or do you buy some food that makes preparing dinner quicker / easier? Do you always take a pack lunch on days out? In fact do you go on days out or do you exclusively entertain your toddler at home with various items you find around the house?!

What I would say is you're not going to get value out of a cleaner if the house is cluttered and untidy. We have just finished decorating and the deal is we need to get to a point where everything has a home - then we will get a cleaner.