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Original poster

To be surprised at screen usage during a family outing?

40 replies

hangonwhilstioverthinkthis · 06/04/2026 08:28

I read on here often about children and teens on screens when out, but has anyone else experienced it with adults? I feel like I've been living in a bubble!

When I see family with my DC it's understood there are to be no screens at the table, and in my experience limited screens during gatherings whether eating or not. I can't remember it being explicitly said, it's just always been that way even when I was a kid (ie the TV went off when guests came around/always at meal times). DH and I are the same with our DC, whether at home or out. If there is a real necessity to use a device (for example its the end of the meal and someone wanted to check the traffic to decide whether they should be leaving) we would ask others at the table first. If people were still eating it really wouldn't be unusual for someone to leave the table to check their phone or take a call rather than doing it whilst sat down.

However, I have been out a few times recently with my parents and siblings (all aged 50+), without youngens, and I have been surprised at how often I was the only one not on a screen. It was like I was with totally different people!

Is this just the norm now?? I didn't even have mine with me (I'm late 30's if that's helpful to know), so am very much on a different wavelength.

YANBU - this is also my experience
YABU - this isn't normal

Also, do I mention it if it happens again? If yes, how would you bring it up?

OP posts:
WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 06/04/2026 09:19

I don’t know anyone as an adult who would mindlessly scroll on the internet, though an in-law seems to have no problem propping up a tablet to have on the dinner table if there’s a bit game on which I find terribly rude.

Otherwise phones would generally only appear to take a photo or check something that came up in conversation e.g. sharing of a link to product being talked about, recommendation for somewhere you’ve been on holiday and sharing it with someone who is visiting that area soon.

LightDrizzle · 06/04/2026 09:14

There is a lot of bad phone etiquette too amongst the same age group; people a little bit older than me.

I see so many having extended speakerphone calls in inappropriate places, watching reels and content out loud or playing music. I find it quite bizarre as I’m sure as you say, they had very different rules around such behaviour when younger and in pre mobile phones.

So many people seem to be in a bubble these days. It’s definitely not a “young people nowadays” thing.

ValidPistachio · 06/04/2026 09:11

JacquesHarlow · 06/04/2026 08:41

It is becoming so much more prevalent @hangonwhilstioverthinkthis and please don't be gaslit by anyone on this thread who comes on to say "Well I've never seen this, so it can't be true".

I am fortunate that my mother and father are not addicted (yet!) but my mother in law will sit through every mealtime, every dinner out, looking at reels. She has shrunk sadly into a bit of a shell of herself, it almost feels like the phone is like the Ring of Power, making the owner some sort of wraith or hollowed out person because of it.

How on earth would that be gaslighting?

CallingOnTheMegaphone · 06/04/2026 09:10

I think it's rude to be on a screen all the time in company but also I wouldn't ask anyone's permission if I needed to check something quickly. I would however wait until a suitable time, for example if my companion nipped to the loo or others at the table were happily engaged in a conversation I didn't need to pay full attention to.

Whatsnextforbea · 06/04/2026 09:10

hangonwhilstioverthinkthis · 06/04/2026 09:05

Thank you for the comments so far.

Idk why it's sitting so prevalently in my mind but have been wondering quite a bit if it was unreasonable of me to be quite so surprised. But it's so polar to my usual experience with them. I haven't spent time with them in a group like that without children (either mine or theirs who are now all 17+, there's usually some around!) for years. They're not like it 121 whether we're at my home, their home or out, and they're not like it when my DC are there, so it happening multiple times in the last week felt very unusual.

Would love to know what they are like at home now!

Edited

So this is family you very rarely see and not close to?

Dalmationday · 06/04/2026 09:07

ive noticed my mother and my in laws (FIL heavily) are completely addicted to their phones. On then at least 50% during our company when socialising. Obsessed. No phone etiquette at all

Original poster
hangonwhilstioverthinkthis · 06/04/2026 09:05

Thank you for the comments so far.

Idk why it's sitting so prevalently in my mind but have been wondering quite a bit if it was unreasonable of me to be quite so surprised. But it's so polar to my usual experience with them. I haven't spent time with them in a group like that without children (either mine or theirs who are now all 17+, there's usually some around!) for years. They're not like it 121 whether we're at my home, their home or out, and they're not like it when my DC are there, so it happening multiple times in the last week felt very unusual.

Would love to know what they are like at home now!

OP posts:
Whatsnextforbea · 06/04/2026 08:50

JacquesHarlow · 06/04/2026 08:41

It is becoming so much more prevalent @hangonwhilstioverthinkthis and please don't be gaslit by anyone on this thread who comes on to say "Well I've never seen this, so it can't be true".

I am fortunate that my mother and father are not addicted (yet!) but my mother in law will sit through every mealtime, every dinner out, looking at reels. She has shrunk sadly into a bit of a shell of herself, it almost feels like the phone is like the Ring of Power, making the owner some sort of wraith or hollowed out person because of it.

“Gaslit” by someone having a different experience to the op 😆

let me guess. Are they also a narcissist?

Buzzlightfear · 06/04/2026 08:43

Yes, pils were here yesterday, I was sorting dinner out and when I came out of the kitchen both of them and DH were sitting in the living room on their phones. I find it really weird (and rude!). Like why bother coming, you could have stayed at home and doom scrolled.

JacquesHarlow · 06/04/2026 08:41

It is becoming so much more prevalent @hangonwhilstioverthinkthis and please don't be gaslit by anyone on this thread who comes on to say "Well I've never seen this, so it can't be true".

I am fortunate that my mother and father are not addicted (yet!) but my mother in law will sit through every mealtime, every dinner out, looking at reels. She has shrunk sadly into a bit of a shell of herself, it almost feels like the phone is like the Ring of Power, making the owner some sort of wraith or hollowed out person because of it.

southcoastsammy · 06/04/2026 08:41

My dad, who lives alone can be like this - he so used to being in his phone! But our rule in the house and outside is - no screens at the table, ever! Although sometimes the kids have to remind him ‘grandad…’

Moros · 06/04/2026 08:40

When I'm out with family the only time phones are brought out is to check something and then they're put away. I'd definitely be miffed if people were on their phones the whole time.

Onadark · 06/04/2026 08:39

I've never known anyone allow phones at the table while eating I thought that was normal (and the one time they're not allowed lol)

FoamShrimps · 06/04/2026 08:38

ive noticed it with my mum and her generation, totally addicted to the screens

Whatsnextforbea · 06/04/2026 08:36

Your family are rude