My DH is just a bit of a Neanderthal and it’s frustrating or am I the one who’s in the wrong ?

I would never have married this man. He sounds awful especially his comments about his brothers wife.

Over the years I have met numerous men who deny their wives medical assistance and then when menopause kicks in oh my goodness it’s supercharged
And then they leave and they walk away with the assets
With the children convinced that Mum’s lost the plot and that of course poor Dad had to leave for the 25-year-old is now shacked up with because she’s driven him to it
You have to prioritise yourself here
Whatever that looks like to you

Have you or anyone you know ever needed medication? Do you have any real life experience to back up your opinions? I think your attitude towards mental health is shocking and discriminatory

Don’t leave this. Get on the waiting list.

If you have adhd then meds can help.

When I was being diagnosed I saw an article saying that most women who take anti depressants and they find they don’t work but continue taking them because they think they are depressed, aren’t actually depressed but have adhd. It’s treating the wrong “illness”

As a blunt and very basic way of describing ADHD

ADHD isn’t a mental health issue in the way people think. It is an actual physical life long issue that we were born with.

Our brains are not the same physical shape as others. We lack the vein that delivers dopamine to the area of the brain that needs dopamine

We use coffee as a bed time drink and take Speed to calm us and order out thoughts Cocaine isn’t a party drug but something that helps us focus.

All the things that stimulate a neurotypical person calm us

I would actually say your dh sounds like he is on the spectrum.

You don’t always have to do what you are asked. You can make your own judgement.

And on that, I won’t contribute further to the thread derailing.

Have a lovely rest of the day.

That’s really unhelpful. I wouldn’t be without sertraline.

Tbh the only thing unreasonable about your post is comparing the awful behaviour of your DH to the much maligned neanderthals.
Seriously, the issues of him not valuing you, your thoughts and opinions stands out and thats enough to cause anyone to feel anxious.
It's one thing to feel medication may not solve some mental health issues,it another to make someone feel that shouldnt be an option to consider with medical supervision.
I hope you have supportive people around you.

Sounds like a fucking bot, certainly not a woman among women.

Who gives a fuck if anyone shares his views? The thread isn't even about debating the pros and cons of SSRIs, it's about a woman who IS taking them and is either not being supported or actively abused. Your personal opinion on SSRIs is irrelevant. It's absolutely fucking arrogant to think otherwise.

OP, you say that 'some people just don't understand mental health problems'. It's true that if someone has not experienced it themselves, they might find it hard to get their head around. However, it takes an arrogant, judgemental and unsympathetic man to see his wife and mother of his children suffering and not only make no attempt to understand or empathise, but to judge her for her lack of worth and to think he has the right or the expertise to warn her off treatment that might help.

He just sounds like an unpleasant, mean-spirited person. His attitude to his brother's fiancée speaks volumes about what he thinks of women. If you left him you might find your mental health would improve.

My MIL is another one who doesn’t believe in poor mental health. Or my DC having an asd diagnosis. I think because she can’t see it so it’s not real. And because she’s an ignorant twat.

I’m glad you’re taking the medication. He doesn’t have to as it’s not his body. He has no right to tell you what to do with yours. Also if you want your DD diagnosed or even looked into I would get on the pathway regardless as it can take years.

I'm going to be a third poster to say the same thing.

After many years the mental health problems turn into physical auto immune problems and then you are really fucked.

Get far away OP, while you are still physically able.

@dhandhisviews - do get yourself on the waiting list for an ADHD diagnosis. It is a long wait. I waited 2 years from being accepted by Physchiatry UK; to diagnosis and finally medication, but it has been worth it. It seemed a daunting wait at first, but just knowing I would get there in the end helped x

Why are you with this pathetic judgemental idiot?

I’ve never actually replied to a post before, but I wanted to because a lot of the things you are saying point to something you might not have considered- so many undiagnosed neurodivergent women are diagnosed with anxiety / depression, and given antidepressants (including me). Given you said your daughter might have ADHD, it’s likely that you may have it (heritability is more than 60%). You also talk about neck / back pain, and getting unwell a lot - 50% of ND folks have hypermobility that leads to joint pain / problems. We also have poor immune systems, chronic fatigue, many issues to be honest! Once I got a diagnosis, and adhd meds, my whole life has completely transformed - I was able to understand why I respond to things the way I do, why I struggle a lot with certain things, stop self-blaming and feeling like it was all my fault and I just needed to “try harder”. The meds have helped so so much and I realised I have never been depressed, just trying to function like a neurotypical person an that was taking a huge toll on me mentally and physically. Something to think about anyway. I wish you well.

He sounds repulsive. I dated someone like this in my early 20s can’t imagine being married to him now. I’d honestly consider leaving him.

Lots of wild views and misinformation on here OP. Bottom line is your husband is a cruel misogynists who's trashing your self esteem. Please consider leaving him.

Men like this often jump ship for younger women when normal ageing or illness become part of life - get ahead of him.

Start over with a peaceful new life for you and your precious girl.

Without SSRIs I would have hanged myself long ago. I'm still here thanks to medication.

What a load of old bollocks.

To those advocating against medication, I can only talk about my own experience. I used ssris l when I had a mental breakdown. I'd been trying to cope for years and follow the "just stop worrying" or Just remember there are people a lot worse off than you" mentality. Unfortunately this approach eventually led to a collapse where I literally couldn't function, couldn't eat or stay awake and lost weight very rapidly. I used the medication for around 6 months to get me through the worst while I had therapy. They enabled me to function enough to leave the house and attend counselling, stay present to be able to eat and hold a conversation. If managed properly they can be a real help. They may not work for everyone but I can honestly say they were a lifesaver for me.

I did..other posters asked me to elaborate on the posts I wrote so I did.

I hear you 🤗it's likely your daughter may have ADHD too, and if so she will be so lucky if she is aware of this at 8 rather than 48.

How old are you, as if you're in peri it's likely that lowered or fluctuating oestrogen levels are also playing their part. A lot of us don't realise we have ADHD until this point as Oestrogen mitigates a lot of the symptoms.

You’re derailing the OP’s thread. She has come to ask advice about her husband not her antidepressants. So whilst you are very entitled to your opinion, maybe once you’ve made your pint you move on

I'm also thinking that you might be ND. I'm only basing this off the health anxiety/OCD - which loads of us have. Maybe your DD has adhd? And very probably your H is a mid range narcissist (see Dr Ramani on YouTube).

Sorry - I know people get told off for armchair diagnosing but I've been quite obsessed with ND and narcissism for about 12 years. I'm autistic with inattentive adhd, kids with autism and audhd, exH is a narcissist, DM with eupd, hours every day on here reading the same sorts of posts. I just look for patterns and this has some very obvious parallels with my marriage. My poor DS23 has only just been diagnosed because of his dad objecting to everything I've said because he was always determined to believe in my inferior intelligence.

ChatGPT can be good for calming health anxiety but make sure it knows that you are anxious before you ask it anything and obviously don't take its word on everything.