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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel criticised when my partner mocks everything I like?

68 replies

happydogwalker · 05/04/2026 23:36

AIBU to want to watch, listen to or eat what I like?

My partner and I have very different tastes in TV, Film, Music etc, which is ok. We each watch or listen to what we want in different areas of the home. Sometimes we will stumble upon something we mutally like which is great.
The issue for me is if I tell him I am watching something that is not in his taste he makes derogatory comments about it, such as, it is moronic, that kind of thing is made for idiots etc. If he walks into an area where I am playing my music or radio, he will turn it off calling it a pile of S* , or utter Cr** he cant bare to hear. This is a regular occurrence and I feel insulting to me.If what i like is for morons then ergo I am one.
This kind of behaviour also translates to food and our meals.He ridicules my effort to eat organic saying Its all a big con. Yet if i use any convenience food he calls it poison.
I feel that anything that does not align with his likes or preferences is just a target for put downs, insults or negative feedback. He does not accept or embrace any differences.
I am starting to feel a little attacked by his comments. AIBU

OP posts:
CruCru · 06/04/2026 07:21

This sounds a completely joyless way to live. If he is your partner, you can just split up.

JustbrotherscarlenaNsoul · 06/04/2026 07:13

Oh I bow to your superiority oh wise one.
Fuck off prick!

BreadstickBurglar · 06/04/2026 07:12

Meanwhile I bet he’s a pothead who rarely cooks a meal?

Dery · 06/04/2026 07:10

Is there any reason why you need to keep him in your life? It doesn’t sound like he likes you or really enhances your life.

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 06/04/2026 07:05

RedBalls · 06/04/2026 06:49

And there it is - the get out of jail free card has been deployed!!!

Someone will be along soon to tell @happydogwalker not to bother trying to talk to him about how he makes her feel because being autistic means having no empathy.

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 06/04/2026 07:04

ScullyD · 06/04/2026 01:36

My ex had autism and he was like this (just for the naysayers on the thread!)

But ultimately the why doesn’t matter. This is who he is, it IS tedious and I would break up with him OP. I wish I had done it sooner, he has a flaw you can’t fix.

Your ex was a prick who happened to also be autistic.

RedBalls · 06/04/2026 06:49

ArduousAndTedious · 05/04/2026 23:48

Could he have autism?

I knew a boy with autism that sounds exactly like your DH. He had his likes and dislikes and anything else was absolutely garbage and wouldn’t hold back on saying so no matter who was offended.

Just a thought …

And there it is - the get out of jail free card has been deployed!!!

RedBalls · 06/04/2026 06:47

What are you actually getting out of this relationship? He criticises you because it’s a way of controlling you. I hate to break it to you but I doubt that he really loves you, and he doesn’t even like you much. I’d end the relationship and live life on your own terms.

Shoxfordian · 06/04/2026 06:35

He doesn't seem to like you very much. My husband and I have different tastes too but he doesn't say anything I like is stupid or for idiots. Not nice.

Bogeyes · 06/04/2026 06:33

Why are you with him?

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 06/04/2026 06:29

Why are you putting up with this? What on earth are you getting from being with this nasty bastard?

ShortiePant · 06/04/2026 05:25

My dad does this to my mum and he's also a verbally abusive man child so YANBU. Their marriage is beyond repair due to years of him disrespecting her in this way. No advice apart from to say you're not imagining he's putting you down.

JWhipple · 06/04/2026 05:22

ArduousAndTedious · 05/04/2026 23:48

Could he have autism?

I knew a boy with autism that sounds exactly like your DH. He had his likes and dislikes and anything else was absolutely garbage and wouldn’t hold back on saying so no matter who was offended.

Just a thought …

Can we stop saying shitty behaviour is because of autism?

It's insulting.

Some people are just twats, autistic or not.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 06/04/2026 01:59

He isn't your partner. He's a boyfriend/flatmate at best, an emotionally draining, potentially emotionally abuser at worst.

A partner should be supportive and lift you up, not constantly criticise everything you do or like.

Sounds like you've had enough, so I'd suggest separating and enjoying a peaceful life without this drain in your ear.

LooneyLiberalSpaceWaster · 06/04/2026 01:46

He will crush you and then look at the broken shell with utter disdain. Its driven by his own feelings of inferiority. He needs to belittle someone to feel better about himself.

ScullyD · 06/04/2026 01:36

ArduousAndTedious · 05/04/2026 23:48

Could he have autism?

I knew a boy with autism that sounds exactly like your DH. He had his likes and dislikes and anything else was absolutely garbage and wouldn’t hold back on saying so no matter who was offended.

Just a thought …

My ex had autism and he was like this (just for the naysayers on the thread!)

But ultimately the why doesn’t matter. This is who he is, it IS tedious and I would break up with him OP. I wish I had done it sooner, he has a flaw you can’t fix.

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 06/04/2026 01:35

ArduousAndTedious · 05/04/2026 23:48

Could he have autism?

I knew a boy with autism that sounds exactly like your DH. He had his likes and dislikes and anything else was absolutely garbage and wouldn’t hold back on saying so no matter who was offended.

Just a thought …

It is possible to be autistic and an absolute prick at the same time.

I know very few autistic people who are though.

Shitty men are far more common.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 06/04/2026 01:03

And his good traits are?!?!?

He is not a partner - a partner supports and accepts you. He doesn’t even respect you. Raise your standards my dear and throw out the trash - him -

Pinkflamingo10 · 06/04/2026 00:56

Sounds like he sucks the life and soul out of every room he’s in
how can you stand it ?!

CoastalCalm · 06/04/2026 00:39

Mine refers to my tv choices as ‘your shite’ and goes elsewhere while it’s one (or sits and secretly enjoys it) He prefers radio six to my radio 2 in the car but he wouldn’t dare switch over the radio in my car and doesn’t extend to things like food , it’s normal to like different things but it’s not normal to belittle or dominate like that

KimberleyClark · 06/04/2026 00:39

He sounds awful and like he doesn’t actually respect you. You can do a lot better.

Gymnopedie · 06/04/2026 00:35

but the fact he’s your husband makes this behaviour bizarre.

She calls him partner, not husband.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 06/04/2026 00:35

Why are you together ?
You can do better.

Gymnopedie · 06/04/2026 00:33

If you tell him how much you like him would he have to decide that he is crap too?

Worth a try. Next time he tells you everything you like is crap, tell him that as you like him - if the cap fits...