AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

I was very kindly gifted £2000 when I turned 18 by my grandad (as I was the only grandchild who didn’t get the government trust fund) this is the only help I have ever had towards anything (and I was so grateful for it!). I get around £200-£300 on birthdays and Christmas (combined between everyone!). If anything, I’d say I’m average, but on the luckier side as I know people who get nothing. You’re either incredibly out of touch, or looking for a space to brag 🤷🏻‍♀️

But don't you feel wealthy earning that amount? I earn 30k, husband earns 45k and we feel very wealthy compared to others.
We have never had any of the other financial support you have had and are unlikely to (we did have 1.5k towards our wedding). But we are good at managing money and have made good choices and are almost mortgage free.

I had help. I had £5k to buy a house and felt lucky and privileged to have it. Here’s you with ten times that much saying you don’t feel that way. Wow.

You are privileged compared to most people in the UK. You are very privileged compared to most people in the world.

I really don’t understand this type of thread (except as clickbait).

No matter what your personal position or friendship group; even if you live in Belgravia and are surrounded by people worth multiple millions, surely you read a newspaper or watch some kind of news?!

The average person in this country lives paycheck to pay check and just doesn’t have the kind of life that you and your friends have.

I’m not saying this just to join the pile on, but even your level of expectation that others in this thread should provide you with perspective and educate you is an indication of your level of privilege and entitlement. You could have done the work and some reading around this yourself, and if you’d have ever had any interest in the lives of others less fortunate then you’d already have known about it surely?

Im incredibly privileged too - not so much with financial gifts, trusts etc. But I recognise I am and have been very lucky in life, even with my share of trauma and loss and difficulties I’ve been, to some extent, cushioned. I don’t think it takes anything away from me to recognise that.

If you work in finance do you have access to payroll.

You'd see your salary was double the average.

As people upthread have said half of parents help with deposit but fewer still give £50k. That’s 1.5 the average salary and about 20% deposit for the average property, Majority buy with 10%.

Your salary topped up by a pre tax £6k yes that’s very generous.

What was said to upset you? This is personal as you aren’t able to apply critical thinking.

The post is giving second hand embarrassment!

In uk 63% to 65% own their own home.
5.4 million house holds private rent around 19%
Social housing is 17%

Thars based from a couple of years ago.

How easy do you think it is to get council/HA housing?
Regardless of what’s “normal” in your circle you ARE privileged.
If you want to be educated why not start a thread asking for peoples experiences? Mine is that I’m a single mum of 4 in a 3 bed HA house. I live payday to payday. I’ve just managed to book our first ever holiday ever due to some back payment from UC. I’ll never own a house nor have any desire to. That’s normal in my circle.

You are privileged. 100%

I am just confused why you’re asking this? Surely you knew it would mean getting some negative responses?

You 100% know this isn’t standard adult life

I think a better way to put this, would be that this is average within your circle, but obviously looking at the world, and the country in general, it is privileged.

For what its worth, I have had a similar experience to you, or one of your friends. But I would always recognise that privilege, and understand that that’s not the case for everybody.

It seems really strange that you don’t understand that, particularly as you are educated, surely you don’t live in that much of a bubble?

Are you serious?
I have had less than £1,000 from parents in my entire life, no help with anything ever, and I earn £15k.
I could only dream of support like you have had… you are extremely fortunate and well off!

I was born in the mid 50s to working class parents. I passed my 11+ in the 60s and went to a Grammar School, I went to University got a grant and left with no debts. I know that I was privileged to have had those things although I had to work hard and live frugally to raise the deposit for a house when I was 32 and a single parent.

Nobody ever gave me large wads of cash. I don't know why you can't see you have had massive privilege.

You've had houses gifted to your kid and a huge deposit to you. Most people have some deposit help but my experience is around 5k so you're already 10 times better off than the people around me.

Then the house gift is really really privileged.

2-3k a year is also way above any level of financial support I've heard among my friends.

I'd say I love a decent and somewhat privileged life by owning a home, running a car and having holidays.

It's OK to be privileged, it's not OK that you think you aren't.

You are very well off and lucky. There is no one in my life who could give me a lump sum of money. There will be no inheritance on either side of my family. My parents spend max £30 for Xmas and birthday presents. My partner has health problems so can’t work full time. We earn around £50k per year between us. I feel pretty grateful as many others I know have it worse.

Of course it would be nice to be given money but I am also a grown woman and proud of my achievements. I would find it infantilising to be dependent on others for money.

Also no not everyone is gifted a house deposit, ours came from working a lot of overtime and moving back with parents to save.

Cry me a river

@FinchellYour life is privileged - you have no clue how others have to live so your privileged. Your life is relative to you and you haven't been shown differently, however privileged you are.

For context, I was born into affluency, a professional middle class family. My late mom side was extremely wealthy, along with the extended family and wider friendship circle.

My life story didn't follow that trend. My childhood was unhappy and I recreated that as an adult with money.

I finally took my how adult children and I and fled. Blood sweat and tears to rebuild our lives I've been through the whole system in this country.

The Tories started selling off social housing in the 80s and it's never been rebuilt.

I was hidden homeless with my 4, between 2000 - 2023 so the sell off of social housing was already biting then.

As for now 14 years of Tory rule have destroyed this country.

This link will tell you more about poverty below, from the Joseph Rowntree trust.

21% of the British population are said to live in poverty. That's about a quarter of the British population.

Look up about social housing and poverty, foodbanks and poverty etc. you will be shocked

www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-2026-the-essential-guide-to-understanding-poverty-in-the-uk

So you think everyone who has bought a house had deposits given to them or a house given to them? Yes in some cases thats that's true through inheritance. Or just on general family were able to help.

But most people i doubt it very much . If that was the case there wouldn't be so many people private renting. Or in socal housing. Would be familys living in hostels/hotels /temporary accommodation. People living in HMO . Every one would be in a house thsts mortgage or bought outright.

There is always someone with more than you. In your circle you may not seem privileged.

Mumsnet has people from single mothers though people working on the breadline and then just many with no parental gifts or less well paying jobs.

There are also a few people who earn more, own millions of pounds etc. and a bunch of people who lie.

Objectively on Mumsnet and in real life you are privileged.

But you say you mix with lots of people from different backgrounds so you must have friends that also earn modestly , save for a house deposit, pay monthly for their car, and spend a couple of hundred on Christmas ? Then you must see you.are privileged in comparison?.

The council won't house people who they feel are adequately housed. They don't care about overcrowding in owned or privately rented houses. If you leave safe housing (even extremely overcrowded) they will say you have made yourself intentionally homeless and they won't help.
There are many people who earn "too much" (16,000 per year household income) to receive pupil premium, free school meals etc...but they still can't afford to live comfortably.