AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

But OP hasn’t succeeded on their own terms. They’ve been gifted large sums of cash and their child is equally set up. In the case of this post, it’s their ignorance of a wider world beyond their own privilege, and an understanding of that, which is eye-rollingly obtuse.

We’re talking about somebody being given a house by their grandparents’ trust fund. How is that down to their own hard work? Did they put years of graft into selecting their grandparents?

(The grandparents themselves may or may not have worked hard, but we are talking about the trust fund recipient here not the GPs).

I’d say they’re actually below average.

I don't believe that every child from an impoverished background is doomed to failure and remaining there for life. It seems to me the way forward to bring people up, things like extra funding for disadvantaged children, in my one of my companies every year we take a cohort of school leavers who should be going to uni but don't for financial reasons and train them up. We can only take 5 but it is still something - in our sector they rapidly reach £50-60k earnings. There seems to be a large group of people who would rather insult those who succeed than do anything about it.

Your intellect and emotional range?

I think your income is unexceptional, but the fact you have been given so much is exceptional and highly privileged.

I would be interested to hear what you do to repay that privilege to people who weren’t born as fortunate as you clearly were. When my DS started at his senior school the Head gave a talk to all pupils that attending a school like that was a privilege. They didn’t have that privilege because they were better than anyone else but because they were luckier. And his job for the next five years would be to teach them to look for ways to repay that privilege to those who were not as lucky as they had been when they leave. I always thought that what a really healthy perspective on privilege.

Right, if you ARE PRIVILEGED FROM THE START and you don’t succeed then yes- you’re lazy and blaming others for it. But you’re not seriously suggesting that a child from a poverished council estate, will have the same opportunities as a kid from a private school in an affluent area. Even if the poor kid works his butt off, he’s still less likely to succeed than his privileged peer who worked half as hard. If you think otherwise then sorry, but you’re just kidding yourself.

No I agree, it’s not an excuse at all. That was my point really.
I think you can feel very average due to the people you surround yourself with but you can still know that you are fortunate and recognise that other people are massively struggling. Both things can apply at the same time.
It’s very naive to think that this type of lifestyle is the norm for everyone. It just happens to be the norm for your friends and family, not the whole country. And you don’t need to look very far to know find this out. I see this everyday due to my job but it’s also on the news every day - it shouldn’t be difficult to understand.

I thought I was privileged because we're on my FIL's Spotify and Netflix plans 😅

We got financial help to buy our house but it was a family loan, not a gift.

Just because you personally don't know anyone less privileged than you doesn't mean you're not privileged. It's quite easy to look up data on this kind of thing.

"It’s a well known fact people can’t save for deposits as rent is so high"
OP, if this is the case, how on earth did unprivileged you get to save £50k?
And how does your DD have a house on trust when her DGP have made no provision?
And how come all of your friends are so privileged (everyone you know received financial support with their first home) - when you also say they're from all walks of life?
You're getting a lot of negativity because your post is full of contradictions. And other posters are quite rightly pointing out that you are highly privileged compared with very many people in Britain - but I get the feeling you don't like that answer. Which rather begs the question - why bother asking?

Wow. Yes, you are privileged! Most people have to save for a house deposit or they take on a 100% mortgage.

It sounds like you have very generous parents. For context, my MIL is worth a few million and she hasn't given her children any handouts or help, EVER, even though one of the (adult) children is on the breadline. This is despite her being helped by her parents back in the day (she was gifted a house and a business). There has been no paying it forward, which I find baffling.

We (me and DH) on the other hand, have helped our adult children with things like weddings and house deposits.

So someone has made a comment to you about how privileged you are and you've obviously taken offence?

I think they were right, you are privileged. I only know one person who was gifted money to buy a house, most of my friends are living in council houses and will probably never own their own home. Salaries are no more than around 30-35k.

I think privilege comes down to perspective.
I KNOW I am incredibly privileged, hubs and I both earn reasonably decent money, we have a small 3 bed home and are saving hard to be mortgage free in the next 4 years. We have 3 cars (mine is 24 years old and leaks like a sieve but I love it and I feel very privileged to be able to afford to run it!) hubs has a 9 year old Audi TTS which he saved every penny for and bought new) and a 20 year old golf. We can afford a couple of English holidays a year and I don’t have to worry about the pennies when I go food shopping. I have had a couple of monetary hand out from my parents (again I feel immensely lucky to have had these) we saved hard for our wedding 2 years ago and were very lucky that our parents contributed financially too.
My parents and in laws are all healthy and wonderful people and I have fantastic friends and wider family, a job and colleagues I love and an amazing husband whom I love dearly and loves me back.
Compared to you on paper financially I am not so very privileged but compared to a single mum living hand to mouth in a council flat I am beyond privileged.
I am so very grateful everyday for the cards that I have been handed in life both emotionally and financially.

Didn’t you get enough flak on your other thread about people with no savings @Finchell?

Obviously some people find it easier to succeed than others. But I have always found those that blame the "Privilege" of others do it as a way of self rationalising why they failed - it always has to be someone else fault.

As the saying goes I've been lucky in life and the harder I've worked the luckier I have got.

So, you’re in a job that earns £71k suggesting you’re not a complete idiot.
How can you assume your life is average? you don’t know anyone who has had it different??
Im astounded anyone lives in this much of a bubble!
Are you completely unaware of the COL crisis, housing shortage, unemployment?
Shock horror, the working class; I don’t know anyone gifted £50k, £2/3k every year, houses in trust.

Yes, they go to the magic council house tree, its a bit like the magic house deposit tree.

Ha ha ha, fucking hell, yes you're privileged. Ha ha ha. Oh dear. I laughed out loud reading this. Maybe read the news, some people struggle to pay their rent and for food. I hope this is a wind up, is anyone really this detached from realty

Well it absolutely screams entitled and cringe to me! Can't imagine letting my parents buy me a house or a car or a 5k holiday. Because I'm an adult and I pay my own way.

How on earth do you manage on such a pittance?

It's hard to believe anyone could be that dim, hence the responses you are getting. If you really are that dim you could easily educate yourself. Start with https://www.statista.com/statistics/321065/uk-england-home-owners-age-groups/?srsltid=AfmBOop-csdqB0-dKM9nmrROzrAjznxbkE0KQuGKQMQ0d1mAyjjLMdM1

Watch a few episodes of Rich House, Poor house - although that will probably mean you decide you are not privileged because you are not quite as rich as some of those families. https://www.channel5.com/show/rich-house-poor-house
Note that they dont go to the poorest houses either, the people living in tents because they are homeless, or in b&bs with drug addict neighbours.

Of course success is something to celebrate but it doesn’t come equally easy to those less privileged. That’s a fact. Privilege is oftentimes passed down from one generation to another. It’s such a cop out to say there’s a lot of shaming going on, when it’s clear to see the original post was somewhat tone deaf.

We are an average middle class family.
DH worked hard and has a PhD.
Between us we earn about £100k in public services/NHS.
We have had no financial help from family (Xmas £20!) but grew up very loved.
We consider ourselves very very lucky.

Count your blessings OP and maybe think about how you can give back to those less fortunate.

They save up. Like our home owning adult children did. There’s nothing magical about it.

OP, read all your posts now. You claim to have friends from a variety of backgrounds but clearly don't if you think council housing is available for those who need it or they would be homeless ( though I do suspect you are a massive troll with that post). In the 1980s the Tories bought in the right to buy for tenants of council housing, at very cheap prices and with a guaranteed mortgage from the council, which has destroyed council housing. Huge proportions of properties were sold off ( when you walk down my parents street you can still easily spot many of the houses that were sold off as the owners have not been able to maintain and upgrade them), leaving just a rump of social housing. The decimation of the social housing sector is possibly the major contributory factor to high private rents as where else were people who could not afford to buy going to live? It created a demand in the private rented sector which outstripped supply, hence high rents. So yes, lots of people are homeless (which is not the same as roofless) or in overcrowded conditions.

You have friends who are the same as you, you meet your friends in affluent environments as you are affluent and so are they. You clearly do not follow the news as to what is happening in the country or to people who are not like you financially.