AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

What's lacking in OP is imagination. I surmise she isn't a reader of novels.

I agree calling people feckless is awful.

If it was that easy there wouldn't be people struggling everyone would have high paid jobs.

There are disabled people. People with disabilities learning difficulties.. there are barriers for some people.

@Dragonflytamer Academic intelligence isn't the same as understanding real life. Someone can be highly educated and still have very little awareness of barriers other people face.

If this is ‘Normal’ for everyone you know, why are you even asking ?

It's safe to say that you and your friends have been spoiled. This is not standard practice in the majority of families.

I would say it was for the MNs family but this thread is going against the grain.

You are so privileged & can’t even see it in your protected little bubble.
give me strength 🤦‍♀️

Yeah, it's pretty privileged.

I think all you're proving is that people tend to hang out with people of similar socio-economic backgrounds.

Excuse me, what? Is this what you got from what I was saying? You think I want to keep poor kids “doomed” and that I’m alright with that? And are you calling all those less privileged parents “feckless”? Goodness me! I was highlighting a very real issue, just to offset your “you’re the maker of your own fortune” outlook. It’s true of course, but only to certain extent, because you seem to omit a whole barrage of variables that do influence outcomes in people’s lives. It’s not a level playing field for everyone.

PS I doubt we will see much more from OP as her post and reactions have been exposed as ridiculous assuming it was ever a serious AIBU ....

My parents were working class hard-working home owners and always encouraged me in my education. I consider myself incredibly privileged to have had a loving, stable home, grammar school education and Oxford university. I had no financial hand outs like a lot of my peers, but I never lost sight of how privileged and grateful I was to have those non-material advantages. It is a pity that her clear advantages in life have failed to create a more intelligent and empathetic adult.

Are you privately educated? You seem to have a very sheltered view of other people's circumstances.

My husband and I come from (IMO) fairly normal, state-educated backgrounds but met doing professional training for a competitive industry. The vast, vast majority of our friends are privately educated. If we chose to only view the world through the lens of these particular friends, then yes, you are pretty average.

We got money towards our house deposit, and I need to remind myself of the fact that is a privileged position when many of our friends get another 5 figure sum to extend the house, or a 6 figure sum to buy a bigger house when they have another baby. And again when they are taken on multiple naice (skiing or a villa somewhere posh) holidays by their parents despite being in their 30s/40s and having kids of their own. And again when it was revealed they had never paid their own phone bill in their mid-20s. And again when whinging their parents never really give them thoughtful presents, just quite a lot of cold, hard cash at Christmas.

We don't get any of the latter things, but that doesn't mean we weren't privileged to have grown up in home-owning households who could pay the bills, to have average dual incomes now and to have had many thousands given to us to buy a house.

But we have encountered quite a range of people growing up, who have spent periods of their lives living through food scarcity, migration struggles, unable to afford train fares (so they had to get the bus or even walk) and had to limit socialising due to lack of money. So we do have some perspective.

So you want us just to accept that kids born to feckless parents are just doomed for life. I'd rather than believe that if it is alright with you.

Wow I'd love to be gifted money like that! No, I've never had any gifts like that from parents - but I do earn a lot more than you

You’re basically proving my point. A very select few are given an option to train up in your company, BECAUSE they were not privileged enough to go to university. And as you say- it’s only a few! And if those few get to the £50-60K mark- guess what- they’ll still likely never be privileged enough to afford their own house- not in this economy. Inequality is real. Privilege is real and SHELTERED.

There really are people like this aren't they. 'OMG what do you mean, ppl acherlly dont have ma and pa's help? Kerazzzy!'
I'm glad I live in and help people in the real world. I would feel sick having to spend my time with such narrow minded fools

You're privileged. That's all there is to say about it.

Working for a £70k household has got to be a starter Butler position. In a year or two time they will move to a better salary at £250k household.

It sort of eloquently demonstrates the point.

In fairness to OP my parents "scrimped and saved" to send me to private school and I then went to Oxbridge.
In both places the overwhelming number of people were from above averagely wealthy families and some from very wealthy families.

I considered myself to be poor because my family holiday was a week in Devon, not multiple holidays abroad across the year; because my parents didn't give me the expected parental contribution to university whereas my peers were given substantially more; and that their only financial support they've given me as an adult was £5K towards a house deposit.
Basically, compared to everyone I knew I was "poor".

I'd realised by my mid twenties that I wasn't actually poor on any objective measure, however. But that was because I actively opened my eyes to how other people outside of my bubble lived. A lot of people (at all levels of wealth) simply don't do that.

The butler is working hard to improve their circumstances. This is just a stepping stone to Bigger and Better Things™️

this is a wind-up post, surely nobody could be so obtuse.

It's safe to say that you and your friends have been spoiled. This is not standard practice in the majority of families.

I can't believe that you're so naive to think that it might be. What bubble do you live in.

I think this isn't about class, but money and also location..

For eg if you live in Essex there are lots of people who are 'business owners' /trades and diddling the tax man is a way of life.

There's a huge amount of wealth there being passed down in this way - new car for your 18th, huge help buying (and renovating, lol) a first property, but it's not generational wealth in the way we'd normally think of it as being.

I hope this is a wind up.

10,000 children a day die of starvation on our planet.

Even just attending private school sets you apart from 95% of the population.

I know it’s probably rage bait but I do think a lot of privileged people don’t realise they are in fact very privileged, and that most others perceive them that way.

Hahahaha

Your assumption is wrong. Both my kids have bought houses and worked bloody hard for a long time to save up and were given nothing by anyone. I think that's probably the case for the majority. Most people do not have houses waiting for them in trust either. And as for being given thousands a year or holidays or whatever, how on earth can you not consider that privileged? As previous posters have said, just because this happens with all the people you know does not make it the norm.