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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

685 replies

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:11

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

OP posts:
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Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:23

TheHouse · 05/04/2026 21:23

@Finchell

so you think EVERYONE just gets handouts?

the delulu is out in force tonight.

@TheHouse yes if they own a house I would assume so?

OP posts:
OlympicWomen · 05/04/2026 21:23

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:20

@LauraJaneGrace no. I don’t know anyone, literally, who hasn’t had some sort of help. How else do people magically have a house deposit??

😂good one!

BendingSpoons · 05/04/2026 21:23

You are very privileged. We are somewhat similar to you, and what you describe is not unusual amongst our middle-class, university educated peers. In contrast I work with many families who can hardly afford the bus fare to come to appointments with me. There are many, many people in society that have nothing near this level of wealth, don't own any properties and have nothing in savings.

mummytrex · 05/04/2026 21:23

Yabu.

I say that as someone whose parents have gifted similar amounts. Maybe I see how privileged I am because I remember my parents struggling to make ends meet growing up.

MorphingintoMargo · 05/04/2026 21:23

And these types of posts ( as well as the political propaganda posts) are why mumsnet will die.

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:23

RazzleDazz1e · 05/04/2026 21:22

I agree OP- in my circle this wouldn’t be counted as privileged… but for the majority, perhaps.

@RazzleDazz1e thank you!! I was starting to think I was crazy with the first responses

OP posts:
TheHouse · 05/04/2026 21:23

@Finchell

so you think EVERYONE just gets handouts?

the delulu is out in force tonight.

boysmuminherts · 05/04/2026 21:23

All of those individual examples make you sound extremely privileged and all added together incredibly so.

DollydaydreamTheThird · 05/04/2026 21:23

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:16

@TeaAndSymumthy I don’t make friends based on their financial worth so I don’t know what you mean by that

It's pretty obvious you aren't friends with anyone from a council estate. This post is either someone trying to get people riled up (troll) or really fucking naive at best.

Konstantine8364 · 05/04/2026 21:22

My mum gave me 12k towards my house deposit and paid for my uni with some money she inherited from a neighbour. I feel massively privileged and appreciate I got a huge leg up, so should you!

SpanThatWorld · 05/04/2026 21:22

Median salary for adults in the UK is around £38k
You earn £70k.

You are not average.

TellMeWhatToWear · 05/04/2026 21:22

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:15

These posts are uncalled for. For context my two best friends, one was bought a home outright when she was 30 and the other was gifted 200k! That’s two people from different walks of life ( they don’t know each other)

You know what? No, they’re not.

The average salary in the UK is £40k. Do you really think it’s average to be gifted well over the average person’s annual income? Your income is considerably above average.

Read the papers occasionally. Just because your experience is representative of your social circle’s experience does not mean it is representative of the country.

RazzleDazz1e · 05/04/2026 21:22

I agree OP- in my circle this wouldn’t be counted as privileged… but for the majority, perhaps.

Woahtherehoney · 05/04/2026 21:22

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:20

@LauraJaneGrace no. I don’t know anyone, literally, who hasn’t had some sort of help. How else do people magically have a house deposit??

Now I definitely think you’re taking the piss. They WORK for them?!?!

cmonspring · 05/04/2026 21:22

You are definitely privileged

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:22

TheHouse · 05/04/2026 21:21

They work and save for their deposits. I know, fucking mental right?? 😂😂

@TheHouse ?? It’s a well known fact people can’t save for deposits as rent is so high

OP posts:
Dentalmum2 · 05/04/2026 21:21

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:20

@Dentalmum2 😬 lucky dog!

edited this to say I thought you’d said dog bog roll not just bog roll. Not calling you a dog!

Edited

I'm not privileged at all, I'm merely scraping by.

TheHouse · 05/04/2026 21:21

They work and save for their deposits. I know, fucking mental right?? 😂😂

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:20

Dentalmum2 · 05/04/2026 21:20

If it makes you feel any better OP, compared to me you are an absolute povvo. £71k salary wouldn't even cover my bog roll.

@Dentalmum2 😬 lucky dog!

edited this to say I thought you’d said dog bog roll not just bog roll. Not calling you a dog!

OP posts:
ChickenBananaBanana · 05/04/2026 21:20

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:19

@BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation I guess because wider family members and one friend were bought houses outright. Many people I know are bought cars or gifted holidays (5k a time for skiing for example). So while I know I’ve had it easy it doesn’t scream privileged to me

Wanna swap for disability benefits op? Fuck me the delulu

Magicisuponus · 05/04/2026 21:20

I have no words - do try to live outside of your bubble.

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:20

LauraJaneGrace · 05/04/2026 21:19

Everyone I know had financial support to buy a house.

Are you taking the piss?

@LauraJaneGrace no. I don’t know anyone, literally, who hasn’t had some sort of help. How else do people magically have a house deposit??

OP posts:
Dentalmum2 · 05/04/2026 21:20

If it makes you feel any better OP, compared to me you are an absolute povvo. £71k salary wouldn't even cover my bog roll.

Finchell · 05/04/2026 21:19

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 05/04/2026 21:18

So let's run through this again.
£50k house deposit
£2-3k per year
"Small house" in trust for DD

Any one of those would put you in a privileged position.

A question: what would you have to receive in order to think you are privileged and not average?

Another question: what do you think average looks like?

@BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation I guess because wider family members and one friend were bought houses outright. Many people I know are bought cars or gifted holidays (5k a time for skiing for example). So while I know I’ve had it easy it doesn’t scream privileged to me

OP posts:
Sally2791 · 05/04/2026 21:19

Are you for real?

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