AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

Unbelievable! What is with all these posts on MN lately, all from people living in a little bubble where they have absolutely no idea about the lives of anyone outside their social circle? I can't recall ever meeting such ignorant people in RL, and if I did I would be giving them a wide berth.

You are very privileged OP. HTH.

And my friends who are ftb are in their early 40s with a combined income of around 100k (estimate). So 20 years of working to save a house deposit.

Ok a different experience-
i grew up in a deprived area, we wore hand me downs, had no heating upstairs, no dryer, dishwasher, microwave. my mum cut my hair. No car we walked every where or got the bus. Children I went to school with rarely went to uni or even did a levels it wouldn’t have occurred to me to try. No outings or day trips, I didn’t go to a museum, get a takeaway or eat in a restaurant until I was an adult. I played out every day, no extra curriculars, never got any help or support with homework. Christmas and birthdays I would get 2 or 3 gifts, never did Easter, Halloween etc. I first went abroad at 13 to Spain, then to Greece at 16. I’ve never done long haul. I got a job at 16 waitressing and paid board from that point. I moved out at 19 and got a live in job in a hotel, my friends and I started getting married/ having kids in our early twenties which was normal ( this was late 90’s) when I bought a house with ex dh we fortunately got a 0% deposit as we had no money. Never had any financial help from parents as they dint have any savings either. We got furniture for our house from free ads or stuff family didn’t need. We had a inflatable settee for a few months that I won at a fair.

@Finchell you do seem particularly naive 🤔

Not seeing where the stealth is, TBH.

Ok. This is getting silly now.

Is your privilege the reason you've not tried to get better employment ie you think you've enough so wages aren't an issue currently?
I'd really look into that as, actually you're not far off being in a pretty crap position if one of you loses their job.

Sometimes a studio yes, sometimes a room in someone else's house e.g. family of 4 (mum, dad, 2 kids) in the grandparents' house but all in one bedroom because the grandparents have the other bedroom. Sometimes a room in a hostel with a shared bathroom. I knew 1 mum who fled domestic violence with her 4 kids from 4-18 and they had 1 room in a hostel.

Then there are the better off ones who have e.g. a 2 bed flat with 3 kids, but are still not able to pay for heating and food.

The stories in the news are sadly the reality for many, many families.

Do you think council housing is readily available or do you think maybe there’s a waiting list of many many years?

Are you bored and trying to get attention?

An annual household income of about 55k and no help at all to buy a house.

OP, it's not your fault that you live in a bubble, but widening your social circle, or getting involved in community life, would open your eyes.

Why do you think they are in a studio at all? 4 people in one room are probably 8n temporary accommodation - a room in a run down B&B because otherwise they would be homeless.

Magically have a house deposit? We saved for our own. We had no family help to buy a house and we certainly don’t get gifted £2k a year. You are very privileged and it’s not the norm.

OP are you actually genuine?

I find it shocking and appalling that anyone could be so willfully naive as to the levels of poverty that exist in this country. Do you watch the news, read a newspaper? I’m asking that genuinely. You REALLY need to start, preferably before the next time you participate in voting for any level of politician.

This ⬆️.
They don't have holidays, pets, beauty treatments, meals out etc etc.

I don't intend to be nasty, but those experiences are not normal in terms of the people I know. I think you are privileged and your friends are too. It's a reality that some people are more comfortably off than others.

Yes, you are privileged, financially speaking. You've led a very sheltered life if you think what you've been given is average.
Most people have to save their own house deposit - if they can, and think themselves lucky if they are able to do so.

And while the statistic about 50% of ftb get help from their parents, maybe that’s true. But I suspect not 50k of help.

a friend recently was a ftb and found a house but was 1k short for the deposit. Her parents gave her that. Which I’d guess is more normal than 50k.

I think RazzleDazz1e hit the nail on the head. Depends on your circle.

my background very working class. Parents pushed us all hard academically (state school). They did well later in life. I went to uni and now work in he city. I can imagine if I’d reached my job via private school/uni etc that I’d not see how privileged I am both in terms of how parents have helped me and my salary because of the people I work with - I’m aware I’m in a bubble.

I honestly don’t know what world you are living in.

We saved and worked hard, made cuts and forfeited holidays to gather the deposit for our house. Out of my friends only one had help with a house deposit and it came in the form of inheritance when her DMum passed away too young. She would much rather still have her mum than have the deposit money she got from her inheritance.

most people I know (including us) have cars on finance and don’t get 2-3k gifted to them each year

our kids don’t have houses in trust for them

I think you live an extremely privileged life

They do without stuff so they can save up and they try and find a house within their price range which will probably be small and in an inexpensive, so probably not that nice, area.