AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

I had a friend from school who sounds a lot like you. Her parents bought her first house - “But it was only a cottage”, they renovated it free of charge to an extremely high standard : “My Dad wanted to because he loves doing projects like that!”
Her husband is very high earning so she never had to work.
Her kids went to private school - “I’ve no idea how much it costs. I’ve never asked,” she said, etc etc.
I adored her when we were kids but she is so completely out of touch with reality now I rarely meet up with her and when I do I find her company painful.
She has no dea how privileged she is and just assumes everyone is lucky like her.
She once said to me - in all seriousness, “Nobody ever goes to bed hungry in England in this day and age,” and was shocked that I did not agree with her.

Waiting lists are years long. Suitable houses are few and often in very poor condition. This is common knowledge and frequently reported on.

We saved for a deposit by living at home. I considered that a privilege as not everyone can go home.

My parents spend about £100 in me at birthday and Christmas. That feels a lot too me. We're middle class (though went through some tough periods which probably shaped my feelings on money)

One of the great advantages of not being privileged in the way the OP describes is that when you look back on your life all that you achieved you did with the sweat of your own brow.

I'm in my sixties and I wouldn't swap that feeling of pride for anything.

This
It's really not average to get 50 grand to put towards a house and then gifted several thousand a year!
You move in rich circles.
You can't be that blinkered to think that that's average, surely?!

When I went off to university my mum gave me £50. She also paid for my first driving lesson. Everything else in my life, my education, my car, my house, I've paid for myself.
Have a look at some of the statistics on poverty in the UK and you might just realise why some people are being hostile.
https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-statistics

https://moneyweek.com/personal-finance/average-net-worth-by-age-uk

Where in the UK are you, OP?

And were you privately educated?

Trying to understand where you are coming from

A lot of my friends have had similar from their parents. We’d all be middle class, dad had a good job, most mums were a housewife.

My sister has had all of the above. I haven’t, as I never asked for it. I also don’t have a professional career or own a home or car.

Sounds like a case of not knowing that you live in a bubble. I live in a bubble. Gifted £200k towards house purchase. Own a house over £1m with small mortgage. Household income around £300k. Holiday long haul at least once a year and other places 3-4 times (like Hawaii, Disneyland etc). Totally average for our circle of friends and where we live. However, we went to Oxford and both have advanced degrees, I now understand I grew up very privileged (but at the time felt like that was just life). To me, OP doesn’t feel particularly well off because I feel very average and our income and assets are much higher. But I know I live in a bubble 🤷‍♀️.

You are in a very fortunate position OP.
Lucky you, enjoy and appreciate

Yes you are privileged. The fact that you don't recognise it means it was from birth. No hate on this, as it is just the way the world works and that's OK. Pretty sure your family would've worked their way up from something at some point in the family line to afford you this privilege so don't see why you should feel guilty for it. But yes yiu should recognise that you are in fact privileged .

Is my world, your situation is pretty average yes.

@Finchell To answer your OP, yes, to receive all those things is privileged but if that is common in your social circle then it won’t seem out of the ordinary to you. For the general population, it is very privileged.

I am always curious to know what careers/investments and backgrounds people have to be able to do so much for their adult children… what about their own retirements!? Would you mind giving an idea as to how your parents are in this position OP?

I am average. I rent, I have no savings, I will inherit and pass on nothing, I live paycheck to paycheck and I expect to never be able to afford my own home.
But I was able to afford to get a degree, I can go on an (inexpensive) holiday every year, I own a car, I can get my children clothes and birthday presents, I am not worried about providing my family with food, heating, electricity, and a roof over our head.
You sound hopelessly ignorant.

Don't be daft, OP.
I couldn't give my kids £50k unless I won the lottery. My parents didn't give me any money either, before or after they died. To me, I'm average. Probably the least well off out of my friends, but none of them had huge handouts from their families. I know people who are better off than me, and people who are a lot poorer.

Your intelligence and I'm being generous!

Look I’m not going to pile on - I’ve had these type of conversations with people before. It’s best to try and educate people on society issues.

I work with a lot of people who come from very different backgrounds - I.e. parents are rich, have good paying jobs, helped them significantly with educational fees, pay for weddings, pay for housing whereas they work with someone in the same job, same money who came from poverty, single parents on benefits etc, worked through uni, bought my own house on my own wage etc.

They are not malicious people but often what they lack in is self-awareness on social issues.

What I try and do is steer them to read on societal issues from different viewpoints rather than rely on anecdotal evidence on friends and family on these issues, as often this skew their inputs.

Humans will always subconsciously align themselves with people from same background, morals and values as it provides a psychological blanket. This is why critical thinking is so important because you get to learn and understand privilege more.

Having being gifted not a single penny in my life, ever, then yes, I do think you have been very fortunate. Although it clearly hasn’t made you grateful or empathetic in anyway. So, maybe not so fortunate, after all?

I’ve tried hard not to reply to this as I really think this is trolling at its finest.
but just in case it’s not, I’m very very old. I grew up privileged if you like. Private schools, mostly what I wanted was bought for me. My parents had very nice cars, expensive holidays,I lived in a very big house.I had an extremely extremely unhappy childhood in the fact my father was violent, manipulative , a womaniser and a bully…..and my mother was extremely ill passing away when I was a teenager.

my dad effectively put me on the streets on her passing. I met my husband who saved me. We’ve not had one handout. Not one trust fund. My dad has given us not one penny whilst he continues to be a billionaire at aged 80 ( no lies or jokes). I’ve actually now been no contact with him for over 30 years.

I’ve cleaned toilets, done ironing, worked in school kitchens , until I could afford to better my employment. My husband has worked 2 jobs to support us. I’ve left every single job I’ve had, to try and better our money situation in some way.

my kids have attended local state schools. We’ve struggled for every penny. We’ve owned our home all our married life but sometimes we didn’t know how we’re going to put food on the table.my in laws were wonderful people but with little money themselves.

we’re now very old with adult children and grandchildren. You can’t imagine how hard we’ve worked to get here. And my grandchildren still don’t have a house or trust fund waiting for them, despite working our fingers to the bone.

I don’t know how old you are, but you have a lot to learn about life. I’ve had the most wonderful life with my husband, my kids and my grandkids. Life isn’t about money. Lucky for you, you’ve had so much help. Be thankful and grateful if this is really real

Marie Antoinette must have voted.

You move in privileged circles

Pupil premium eligibility means a family has earned income of less than £7400 ... and roughly 20-25% of children in our school qualify. We are not unusual. In some schools, it's 50%.

I really don't think you have a clue beyond your bubble of like-people....

Given all the free stuff and advantages you've been handed in your life it's surprising your salary is only 71k tbh. I'd hope if I bankrolled my child's life throughout childhood and into adulthood they'd be more successful. HTH

So for instance in 2000, I could have bought a 2 bed terrace house for £37.5k, it went up 65% in 2001 to £62k and then again in 2004 by 61% to £100k , in 2026 its worth £220k. Has anyone's wages risen at the same rate ?

Maybe spend a little less time comparing yourself with others?

If you lined up everybody in a row according to their worldly comforts I reckon you'd be somewhere in the middle.

Do you have enough to be happy in life? That's all that matters...

I'm a little bit concerned about the 1% who think the OP is NOT unreasonable . . . .