AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

You asked how people buy houses, they save or they don’t buy and have to rent either private or council.

Me and DH saved, then bought the cheapest house we could within a 40 min walk from work, we ended up loving the area so it worked out well but it’s officially designated as a “Deprived area”. When we bought the house it had. No working heating, the kitchen was 1 cupboard and a sink, no oven, the bathroom had a terracotta coloured suite, and carpet, the whole house including ceiling was covered in woodchip and the back garden was just shoulder high brambles.

We moved in 16 yrs ago now and we did it up ourselves bit by bit with virtually no budget and no help. We earned just enough to not be entitled to any kind of benefits but not enough to qualify for any kind of home improvement loan so what we couldn’t fix ourselves had to wait.

edited to add that our financial situation now is very different to then as I’ve been able to grow my career and in the last 8 years have been aggressively pursuing promotions so we could move and get a much nicer bigger fancier house. We just don’t see the need as we’re happy where we are.

OP I grew up in a little bubble where I was the poorest. All my old school friends were gifted cars on their 17th birthday, had multiple holidays a year, had house deposits or even houses gifted to them. Even now in our forties I have friends who still get their big bills paid by their parents.

but I know they is unusual. I went to university and then out into the world and met people from all sorts of backgrounds. I haven’t experienced poverty but I had heard stories from friends that would break your heart.

you know you are privileged. Come on now.

maybe volunteer in a women’s shelter or food bank. That will open your eyes.

yawn.

Are people really this dense? Wow!

I’m embarrassed for you OP. I really don’t know how you can move through life being so wilfully ignorant.

I come from a line of council house/renting generations so no money or assets to pass down. I have had no inheritance, no financial help. My children will have to work for everything they have. I earn no more than £25K.

Compared to my life you are extremely priviliged, as are those in your circle.

Everyone I know has saved in order to buy their houses. I don't know anyone who has been gifted a house deposit at all.

What was the comment said to you this afternoon that upset you?

Er. They work for it and save for years before they can afford to buy.

I can't believe how naive you are OP! Please do some research into how many people in this country are living on or below the poverty line, it'll be a shock to you but will certainly make you realise just how privileged you are

This is a humble brag if ever I’ve read one! There is no way you truly believe you are just average and not privileged to be given such massive amounts of money in life. Genuinely not sure how this is even a question in OP’s mind!

PMSL 😂 👏👏👏👏

Think it is common in some circles to receive financial help and not others. The people i worked with when I started teaching saw this as normal. In my world outside work most people rented. We did not get any financial help because the money just wasn't there.

I’m not sure if this is real, but just in case I’ll answer. I don’t go to uni, none of my friends have been to uni. None of us own our own homes or have parents who are in a position to help with a deposit. I won’t get an inheritance as my parents rent too. I have always lived in central London in very nice council housing.
I earn 35k a year and work in the NHS. Home visits are a part of my job, probably only 10% of the people I visit own their own home. A high percentage are in overcrowded and unsuitable accommodation. As somebody else said it’s not uncommon for families to be in a small 1 bedroom flat with multiple children, for years.
You are privileged. I don’t know anybody like you in my social circles. Your circle does not include people like me and my friends so your judgement is really skewed.

No hate from me OP, this is the world you were born into.

But is quite scary that you know so little about how bad things are for the majority of the country, almost half the country live paycheck to paycheck, many people, including children go to sleep cold and hungry.

1 in 3 children live in poverty.

Count your blessing and don't allow comparison to be the thief of joy.

Your getting a hard time because its astonishing that you know so little about this when it is everywhere and it comes across as goady or rage bating.

Those are your friends

i work in the city in a career known for its high salary- I came from very little and now hang out with many middle class people

for context though - even out of my colleagues and people who would be classed middle class (ie nice houses, cars in londdon) most people are not gifted £50k to buy a house

How can you not realise that you are privileged - you only need to watch the news

Of course you are privileged- some people are going to food banks!

God, I do think you need to give your head a good wobble. I, and most of my pals, were lucky to get a couple of grand towards a first home purchase. No house/large amounts of money in trust. For example, my parents paid each of our conveyancing costs (around £1500 from memory) for my siblings and I. I borrowed about £3k from my folks to top up savings for a new car last year; I paid them back £1k of that, and they very kindly and generously gifted me the remaining amount, as they'd paid for quite a few things for my siblings' kids, and I don't have any. I feel incredibly fortunate to have gotten this. Other than a couple of friends who came from wealthier backgrounds, I think that this is pretty normal.
You are very fortunate - and bit entitled, in your OP.

The point of the thread...?
There will always be people with more than you and also people with less. Even branson has people more well off than him. As long as you are alright (happy/grateful) what does it matter if people view your situation as average or privileged?

How do people who are so clueless get jobs that pay £71k. Asking for myself.

Trust me this is not ‘normal’ you are privileged.
I don’t see the point of your post tbh. Very odd.

Because you grew up around priviledged people, you see your circumstances as average. I grew up in council housing, and so I do not. The difference is, I don't think growing up as I did is 'average' either, whereas you seem to think your experience was. Perhaps that's because I've known people from lots of different walks of life, whereas you've stayed within a specific group and demographic?

this can't be real.

I'm had a similar enough position if slightly more privileged, if you can't acknowledge that you're really privileged to have that kind of support then it's either because you're dense or you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder about not being self made so want to deny that you've had a massive leg up

if you have parents who can gift you 3k a year and help you out to buy a house then it means that even if you are broke and can't cover a mortgage or rent payment that your biggest problem is the embarrassment of asking your parents for a dig out as an adult, if you didn't have that your biggest problem would be being made homeless or wondering how to feed your kids.

@Finchellyes you are privileged, you are very fortunate and your experiences are not reflective of a vast proportion of the population.

I received no financial support at all beyond childhood, and just had to save for wedding, house, cars etc I will also never inherit anything. My mum died when I was 21 and any assets she had went to dad, dad died when I was 28 but had remarried by then and any assets he had went to his new wife, both sets of grandparents have also passed.

Aldi is a great place for grocery shopping and my Asda's best time for yellow stickered reductions is Thursday at about 5pm. it may be dfferent where you are. Yes, I am being sarky but that post, ffs! you are privileged and maybe not the most perceptive if you can't see it.