AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

Like I tell my children, you are already in the top 5% just by the luck of being born where you were, when you were. You are probably top 2%, and the fact you don't acknowledge this makes it even more apparent how spoilt you actually are.

I feel privileged to wake up in a country where there isnt active war going on, I have a roof over my head and I dont have to worry about where my next meal is coming from. I consider myself incredibly privileged because of this alone. I am grateful for the abundance of privilege I enjoy on top of that. You and I are not the same.

I grew up in a council house with no contribution towards first (and current) home.

Good grief and I thought I lived in a privileged bubble. Well tbh, I do live in a privileged bubble but I'm not so utterly clueless to realise everyone, indeed the vast majority of people aren't in that bubble.

Average in as much as there are thousands of other people with a similar backstory in the country, so not 'unique' or 'the most privileged' - yes.

Average as in the mean, mode or median wealth in the country or the world - no. What you have described is above average.

No one I know had a house deposit, no one I know had GPs put down money for a house for their GC.

Try visiting some houses/ flats/ rooms in the inner cities, where people have absolutely nothing - you will then understand why your post is goading and unnecessary.

We didn't magically have a house deposit. We worked and saved for years.

You are very privileged, more so than some other people I'd consider privileged. I suspect you are moving in circles where you don't know the level of privilege compared to your average Joe.

You gotta love a trainee bot.

You are extremely privileged and by the sounds of it only know other very privileged people.
have you ever considered trying to broaden your horizons by doing some volunteer work or something? I work with disadvantaged children. Families genuinely struggle to put food on the table and children are exploited into crime. It’s horrifying that you think you’re average

I know nobody that has been gifted a house or anymore than 10k towards a deposit.
I am from a fairly average background.
You are a privileged person that knows privileged people.

Fair point.

Level-headed love is the greatest gift parents can give their kids.

No but people tend to gravitate towards others in their socio economic group. It's natural. Almost all our friends have similar incomes and lifestyles as us and it leads us to think it's the norm when it isn't.

Thanks 💕 I think a pps suggestion that the op go to a foodbank to volunteer is a really good idea, hopefully op will think about it.

There are other pps in the thread who have a degree of material privilege too but they clearly have a real understanding of the very different circumstances that exist for many families and individuals; that the world is not always a stable place.

I can't let it break me that I can't gift my children a house, or an annual sum or anything beyond the here and now; because that won't get us out of this, only keeping a level head will do that.

They don’t so they rent!! Usually for life. Often meaning having to move every 6-12 months to some other shitty house they hate. You can’t seriously not realise a massive number of people can never buy their own home?

Where are all the council houses?! Reminded me of this quote "Are there no workhouses?"

Got to be a wind up surely, and clearly its worked. First post by this OP ...

Eh, I own a home (7 figures), mortgage almost paid off. Zero financial assistance……no financial help for uni/ flat deposit/ holidays. Shocking I know - but I worked and paid for my own life!

You can lead a Royal horse to water...

Outside my street there is a shanty town. My youngest kids have to live of shurbs and small insects they find under the stones. I thought about taking in ironing but I don’t have any electricity. The snow is currently coming in through the roof, there is boiled cabbage for dinner.

This is an example of why @Finchell‘s poorly educated post is so crass.

Sending you all the best @halftermhalfawake 💐

I suspect you’re at least 10/15 years younger than me or move in very different circles.
Nobody I know was gifted money towards a property. I saved every penny for my own deposit and then painstakingly made the habitable, and by that I mean it took several years before I had standard furniture like a bed. No child I know has been gifted any inheritance or property. Thats a ludicrous and extremely privileged mindset.
i own a small property outright after decades of hard graft and earn 600% percent less than you because I am a carer of a child with complex needs. My life is a constant battle tbh but I still consider myself privileged because I have my health (fingers crossed!) and a roof over my head and am safe.
Your post has blown my mind tbh. You sound so blasé and quite materialistic.

This is a tough read, OP. I live in a similar situation to you in that I was bought my first car and gifted money for a house deposit, my wedding, etc. We will also inherent reasonably well from my side. However, I absolutely know how privileged I am.

My husband and I work hard to afford the standard of life to which we have become accustomed, but we would not be able to live that life if we hadn’t been given the financial support we were. It would not be possible, at all.

I work in a school within an area of high deprivation. Many of these young people will work incredibly hard and never come close to the lifestyle we have. They are in stuck in a cycle of generational poverty that is nearly impossible to break free from. I made a comment to a young person about having more than one toilet in my house, they were shocked. They then asked how many bedrooms I have and explained that their bedroom is actually a living room because they live with 2 siblings and a single dad. They had never stayed in a hotel or left the country. All 3 siblings are in school but having to work part-time to contribute to the bills. They rely heavily on school meals to eat. School holidays cause many families stress as they can’t afford to buy enough food. Nobody turns their heating on. Most families don’t have cars as they can’t afford it. We don’t implement uniform policies as families can’t afford them, we’re just delighted the kids are in school! Kids turning up in white trainers? It’s usually the only pair of shoes they have. We had an appeal for Christmas party dresses in the community and had a clothes swap at break times leading up to the Christmas dance as most families couldn’t afford to buy an outfit. The pupils loved it and shopped the donated items with such joy, it was absolutely heartbreaking to watch as it is something I have always taken for granted.

I could write a million different examples but I won’t. Please educate yourself on the reality that many people in the UK live everyday. You’re incredibly privileged and are in a position where you could help. Volunteer at a food bank, family centre, youth group - get to know people truly outwith your social circle and class. I think you’d be a lot more appreciative of what you have.

An expensive education and a good education are not necessarily the same thing. As an example, Prince Harry went to Eton.

I’m baffled by what you must do for a job where you earn 71k - yet you have to ask this question?

This is bonkers. And I don’t believe anyone is this naive. Every single person you know has been bought a house or had a house deposit given to them?? That is purely because you only mix with people of the same social standing as you and that’s fundamentally because of your private education - you have been so sheltered you think everyone has a house in trust for their child?

This is so embarrassing, I’m reminded of that dickhead Prince Andrew who said in the News Night interview ‘No it wasn’t a party, it was a straightforward shooting weekend’. Fuck me! How are people so deluded. Do you not drive through council estates? Do you not watch the news? Have you never had a conversation with a normal person, like your hairdresser? Or postman? Or the man that fixes your car? Do you think the woman on the till in Tesco has had a house deposit given to her? Or been privately educated or has houses in trusts for her kids? LOL! This is fucking mental.

I consider myself pretty damn comfortable financially but I don’t live in cloud cuckoo land and I appreciate how privileged I am, but I’m not in your league OP.

Just for your reference so it puts things in to perspective for you. I think the average salary in the UK is about 35k, the average FTB is aged 34 and just 6 percent of UK children attend private school.