To be annoyed DP has been at golf all day and out drinking and still isn't home.

Anyone that uses cool as a pejoritive on here can be instantly disregarded. It's not an argument,

People change based on circumstances

I think a lot of the "cool" posters must have missed this bit.

@lilybit2025 are you sure you want to marry him?

If you want children, OP, I’d find someone else to have them with.

In itself I dont him doing anything wrong but if you are not happy why marry him he is showing you who he is so you accept it or not

If you dont want this long term then move on

Let him enjoy himself! I find it so weird women are so controlling. He’s out for a day with his friends. Go
out with yours or your family and let him crack on. You don’t have to be attached at the hip.

Many years ago I lived with a lovely but occasionally erratic chap. After one too many evenings in which he didn’t make it home before I left for work (we lived in zone 2 so pretty central London, easy to end up crashing elsewhere BUT also easy to get home), I informed him that I was fine with him staying out, but if he didn’t call to let me know he wasn’t dead or arrested, just staying out, I would put all his records out by the bins as I left for work.

reader, I didn’t marry him but he never ever failed to call me after that warning. (There were far too many to do that, but I didn’t tell him I didn’t mean it, it was designed to cut through and it did).

try something along those lines, can’t hurt x a

have a day out with your friends tomorrow. Don’t wait around for him with his hangover.

Isn’t the time to do this is when you no kids and you can stay in bed all the next day

Solution: take up golf.

(see my user name)

Be cross tomorrow then...

Read my post again

At 30 I was living with a 28 year old who did drinking benders, smoked weed, did coke and cheated on me (I didn’t know that til we ended though). Luckily I didn’t marry him. He’s now married with 2 kids but I doubt he’s changed. He’d bet on the horses and other sports regularly. Couldn’t cook and mum and sister did his washing and ironing. Into football, drinking.

God only knows why I was with him for 2 years!

But basically as I said before highly unlikely he’ll change now. I could be totally wrong though…

I assume this is a rarer occurrence and that your husband doesn’t go away for 4 days for his hobby every fortnite, it’s not really like golf where many people play every week and it takes up most of the day or get really drunk or if they even come back at all, like the op’s husband, then the next day is a write off too.
Most people wouldn’t really care too much if their spouse did their hobby for a weekend if it was a one off type of thing and they weren’t left with young children on their own

Because she knows him, she knows he’s unlikely to manage plans with her tomorrow, which is why she’s upset.

op, get up and go on the usual timeline. Do not spend your Easter Sunday waiting for a hungover man who cancelled his plans with you to have drinks.

It sounds like you knew or expected it would/could go this way based on previous times. If you aren’t happy with this happening again you need to either accept it or discuss this. Long term if that is the plan to be together long term you will have to both make compromises to keep each other happy. His behaviour sounds normal for someone without children or restrictions. Do you have a similar amount of freedom?

I’m sorry but you do sound controlling.

out or the three bank holiday days he has spent 2/3 with you.

Is he only allowed to be out for a set time.

its healthy to spend time apart & see friends & have hobbies. He doesn’t need to be attached to your side 24/7

I think be very careful about having DC.

I'd just go out tomorrow and do something for you. Don't be the lap dog waiting on the doorstep for when he deigns to spend time with you.

Unless he told you a time he would be home by then he's enjoying his Bank Holiday Sunday. You're engaged, surely you know his patterns by now or are you being churlish because you didn't make plans for tonight elsewhere? 1am is late, it's nowhere near that.

Exactly, but people on here just love to throw fire on situations for the hell of it

Kind of the opposite here. Just sitting at home, Easter Sunday, post-roast, sitting down munching chocolate. Bedtime soon for DS, I have an early shift tomorrow.

He announces he’s off our to a gig, at 8.30pm. Throws his jacket on, off he goes. He would have an absolute meltdown if I did that… He’ll have DS tomorrow, with a hangover.

A) I am always suspicious when people "forget to mention" things

B) I would not classify even now as late

Rubbish, utter rubbish. Nothing unusual about spending all days with friends apart fromnon here

But he doesn't have kids right now so this is completely irrelevant.

Don't marry this guy. You'll become a golf widow. You only have to look at the multiple threads of golfing men who spent their 2 week paternity leaves out golfing with their mates. Then every weekend for at least 6 months of the year out golfing, leaving their wives at home with the children. Utter shitbags.

These golfers make shit husbands and shit fathers.

You need to really think if this is what you want to sign up to. I'd get out now before the lonely and unhappy marriage begins.