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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How would you deal with a jealous ‘D’SIL

91 replies

Easter266 · 05/04/2026 19:37

As above - today has been the final straw. A few past comments, but it was obvious she was making digs over lunch at my DNIL’s.

I have two DC with DH (her brother). They had Easter boxes - fairly tame compared to some of the stuff I’ve seen on Insta today. ‘D’SIL didn’t like my post, and I know she saw my story as she referenced the Easter egg hunt.

Anyway, she made pointed digs about Easter boxes and ‘showing off’, I just rolled my eyes at the time but now regret not saying anything.

Ive told DH that next time she makes a comment, I will not be so restrained.

DH says I need to keep quiet for his sake and to not make things awkward.

IMO - he needs to speak up and say something to her. He disagrees. AIBU?

OP posts:

Pippa12 · 05/04/2026 22:37

I unfollowed my SIL because she posted her life all over insta and I knew the majority of it was fantasy land. I like her more now I don’t have to see the utter bullshit she posts. Maybe unfollow her, then you don’t get mad when she doesn’t like your posts?

FWIW I don’t like posts even when I like them 🤣

Jopo12 · 05/04/2026 22:35

Put her on a restricted list on your social media accounts so she can't see what you're posting.
It's best not to rock the family boat by addressing this head on, just take away the opportunity for her to respond to you.

Hillarious · 05/04/2026 22:35

But it’s okay not to like something, isn’t it? Or have I misunderstood?

Piemam · 05/04/2026 22:32

Listen, I don't know what's in an Easter box, but if you've chosen to share it and she's being a dick in response, it obviously matters to her and you can either rise above it or say what's your problem? I want to spoil my kids, have you got an issue with that?

Don't be passive if she isn't; stick up for you and your values.

spikey34 · 05/04/2026 22:21

How important is this person in your life to you? Do you value them or respect their opinion? Some people are meant to be tolerated. I find ignoring them and not wasting energy on them very freeing. It’s easy to become consumed by others reactions. Sounds like your DH came to a similar conclusion before you. If he thought saying something would improve things then I’m sure he would. He knows his sister and knows she’s just not worth wasting breath on. You be you and let her be her.

Contrarymary30 · 05/04/2026 22:20

madwomanintheatticc · 05/04/2026 20:46

What the fuck is an Easter box.

Don't know but it sounds vaguely like Xmas eve boxes , totally ott and chavy.

LittleGreenDragons · 05/04/2026 22:18

springyla · 05/04/2026 19:43

I’ve never heard of an Easter box, what was in it?

🐰🐣 and if you are really naughty 🐊

Merseymum1980 · 05/04/2026 22:14

I think this is just one sil behaviours from reading op.
Id actually consider coming off imstagram its so much healthier

AyeDeadOn · 05/04/2026 22:13

Merseymum1980 · 05/04/2026 22:11

Perphaps its none of sil business

Show quote history

Sounds like OP wants her whole life to be everyone's business.

Merseymum1980 · 05/04/2026 22:11

AyeDeadOn · 05/04/2026 19:42

Tame compared to insta...
Your SIL probably has different values to you. Perhaps she thinks you are spoiling your children or bringing them up to compare themselves to others on "insta", and is aware the impact this may have on their mental health when they are a bit older. Perhaps she has more sense than you and you should listen to her.

Perphaps its none of sil business

VivaciousCurrentBun · 05/04/2026 22:09

I am delightful and Pollyanna like when my SIL is about.

Arraminta · 05/04/2026 22:02

If you're in to playing these sort of games then, as ever, the best way to 'win' this game is just always be very, very nice and polite to your SIL.

Trust me, it will absolutely enrage her.

backagainohdear · 05/04/2026 21:57

Wtf is an easter box?

Catcatcatcatcat · 05/04/2026 21:56

What is an Easter box?

DappledThings · 05/04/2026 20:55

If you're going to join in the nonsense of Easter boxes and show them off on insta then you need to not care that other people think you are showing off nonsense.

If you do care that other people think it's performative nonsense then don't do it or do it and don't post it.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 05/04/2026 20:52

FML. How is a grown adult seriously noticing that someone didn't like their Insta post, let alone not comment on it.

LastHotel · 05/04/2026 20:50

You really sound ridiculous and are probably a bit of a laughing stock. Don’t make it any worse.

madwomanintheatticc · 05/04/2026 20:46

What the fuck is an Easter box.

Alicorn1707 · 05/04/2026 20:43

"IMO - he needs to speak up and say something to her. He disagrees. AIBU?"

For your own peace of mind and the sake of family harmony, @Easter266 let it go.

What you did for your children was lovely, you will not be the only person to notice her attitude.

She doesn't sound like a happy bunny (easter) 😉😆

RavenPie · 05/04/2026 20:34

She thinks ott “boxes” with the accompanying photo and begging for “likes” is dickish.
You think she is a dick for not “liking” your (in her opinion “showing off” and v likely in her opinion cringe) post.
I get that you think she’s jealous but she probably isn’t - she just thinks you are a dick.
It’s just a huge clash of values which you both would be broadly unaware of if it wasn’t for your “story”. You like your boxes, your photos, your stories - crack on, but in the interest of brotherly love, block her, and just have a normal, low-key relationship when you have to see each other. Don’t fuck up the relationship between 2 brothers over instrgram likes. It’s ok to enjoy and value different things from each other. She’s rude to dig at you, but don’t show her the pictures and the whole thing simmers down. You have kids young enough to do an Easter Egg hunt and not forbid you to put it online then you have decades of interactions to get through yet - don’t look for fights.

Viclla · 05/04/2026 20:25

Just be amused by her and her passive aggressive antics. I'm sure she'd love to know she got under your skin so don't give her the satisfaction.

You could make some light hearted jokes about people being such fun sponges these days.

ThatInbetweenBigCoatAndJacketWeather · 05/04/2026 20:23

YABU, purely for doing Easter Boxes. When will madness all for the ‘gram madness end.

YerMotherWasAHamster · 05/04/2026 20:20

Its just plain rude to make comments like that but there's no point saying anything. You already know how that will end.

Just restrict what she can see on your social media and let her crack on with whatever the hell her problem is.

It does not matter whether someone would or would not do what you do. Its rude to make snide comments.

jetlag92 · 05/04/2026 20:20