Are most kids like this?

If she likes bikes, have you taken her somewhere where she can try racing or even BMX style jumps?

Or if she likes football, is she in a team?

Training, playing, competing will all expel some of that energy and focus.

I agree with PP and with what you say that she is busy, but not actually doing lots of “exercise”. Some children need more than others. Things like junior parkrun will exhaust her, but not you. Football, again, great for her - and she begins to be able to self regulate.

From what you describe from the compulsive questioning etc she has pent up energy - so smashing a ball into a net/running as fast as you can for 2k/chucking yourself over a dirt jump does wonders for working that energy out in a more productive way!

But this thread IS about the OP.

The OP is paying for piano lessons.
A piano lesson is more expensive than a swimming lesson, a football session and a Cub pack meeting every week combined.

OP are you maybe doing a little too much? So much so that your daughter just doesn’t have a clue what to do when you’re just in the house? Maybe pull back on what you are doing and she will get more used to it.

Ooh doesn't that post just stink of privilege??

Swimming lessons, football matches hikes in country parks? Just the sort of thing the child of 2 manual workers would be taken out to do on regular occasions NOT

Wheres the hills in a city centre tower blocks, and money for swimming lessons, football subs etc

Along with exhausted parents who work strange shifts on minimum wage without a penny to safe

Not necessarily talking about THE OP but it's the reality for many people

Who was exhausted ?
After an Easter Egg hunt ?

As a pp said, it is recommended that children get at least an hour a day of being active. Where is that in her weekly schedule, let alone this 4 day weekend ?

Piano is a great skill to have, but 30mins sitting on a piano stool isn't physically active.
The 'playing in the garden' is what is generally done as well as a swimming lesson, a football match, junior park run, going out for a hike in your nearest country park or up you local set of hills.

Have you thought about signing her up for cubs or Brownies ? So many different activities to enjoy in a good cub pack, which might include her being on camp for the weekend, too.

Being bored is an activity. That is when your brains imagination kicks in.

Only boring people get bored. That's what I would tell her 🤷‍♀️

Yes I have 2 DD that are 3.5years different in age. Never ever did they play together. The fought every chance they got

My 8yo is going through this phase at the moment. I don't pander to it but I do empathise with how it feels to be the mum of an only child and trying to get the balance right because im constantly flip flopping between feeling like she needs to entertain herself because its exhausting but then panicking at night time when I have peace and quiet that I should have "tried harder" because I worry about her being lonely and feeling pushed out. Ugh.

I've settled on trying to do bursts of offering my full time to an activity of her choice and then some co-activities like reading our own books, a bit of outdoor time so I can chat to her dad while she bikes around, and then allocating chores and/or some table time or bedroom time for solo play of her choice like lego, crafts, whatever.

But yes, it is exhausting.

On the flip side, my experience of being a sibling was that we would spend half the time fighting anyway so it's just a different challenge.

I agree I don’t think this is an only child thing it seems like a personality thing to me. She has lots of opportunities for socialisation and her parents regularly play with her. If she had a sibling there’s no saying they would entertain her all day long either. Most siblings I know do some activities together but spend large parts of the day doing other things.

The gymnastics bar is a good shout, trampoline or swing ball to allow unsupervised play at home. I’m all for signing kids up for activities and this maybe your solution to burn some energy but I also think she needs to learn to cope with own company and find a way to entertain herself.

Already posted above but equipment like a gymnastics bar or mat might give her that high impact exercise she needs. Depending where you live, she might need to be allowed play unsupervised outside more. My very active DS was never home, I gave up trying to contain him at a young age. We lived on a cul de sac and he played outside all day and night, when it got dark he ran home and put on his high vis and back out again. Keeping him indoors was hellish.

I don't think being an only child is the issue, many kids don't have siblings very close in age and often they don't want to play together and parents are constantly refereeing, one kid constantly hassling another to play with them. If she is a highly social active kid she would struggle regardless

Entitled to my opinions whether or not they align with yours. I can't help how you took what I wrote. Maybe you have had to defend yourself re: have 1 child but that is not something I did to you so just don't be so reactive. It makes it seem like you have a guilt complex. If you do, fine, but maybe consider that before snapping at strangers who weren't even talking to or about you.

Never made any assumptions at all, I just think it is incredibly patronising (and it does come across quite judgemental) to the OP saying you feel sorry for only children and their parents. Also an odd thing to say with you having an only child.

You make a lot of assumptions and silly accusations. We have an adult only child. Maybe don't be outraged with speculation. There was no bashing and no judgement. Wind your neck in.

Wondered how long it would take for the only child bashing to start up!! You really don’t have to feel sorry for only child families, I don’t speak for everyone but we are living our absolute dream life with one DD who is outgoing, happy, thriving and confident, not spoilt, selfish or lonely as I’m sure you believe all only children are.

OP get rid of the screens and online games completely for a while (gentle tv obvs fine). The games are so stimulating for them that other things like lego and playing seem dull to
them. Talking from experience, my 8 year old started saying ‘i don’t know what to do’ alot and as soon as I threw the laptop in a drawer it stopped and he was back to his wonderful imaginative self. We don’t have ipads or tablets and most of the time they’ll happily invent games or go in the garden.

’Im tired of constantly having to find her something to do, we play with her lots, take her out lots, she plays with friends.

I was about to ask this. I only ask because I have one DD who is 7. It took me years to figure out why she didn’t amuse herself - because I always said yes to her when she asked to play!! That’s what I love about having an only child, we can play and my time isn’t split but too much of that I have realised is actually detrimental and tbh she wouldn’t even play that much if she had a sibling as they would likely tell her to go away! I realised this at about 6 and really changed my ways, I am
now much better at just saying ‘no I don’t want to play right now but I will play with you in a bit’ or ‘that’s me done playing for now you can keep playing or come and help
me’ etc so she is much better now. We bought her a gymnastics set and it now amuses her for hours!! Also discovered the Yoto which is great for some downtime.

The point is there were no distractions; no internet, no screens, nothing other than board games, colouring, reading and imaginary play and we just had to get on with it, and we survived! I’m sure there are lots of kids that can manage this nowadays and that’s great and how it should be but there are far too many like the OPs dc who just cannot cope without being entertained 24/7 and I really don’t think OP has done herself, or, her dc any favours by pandering to it.

This isn't uncommon but definitely not the norm either. I think you have to be very firm, children need to respect parents need a break and it's not parents job to play with them for long periods. Easier said than done. I think a schedule or timer would work in terms of your own breaks. 30 mins no talking to Mum time. Honestly i think younger kids from 3 should have the same for 5 mins or so and build up. Maybe a schedule of occupations for 10 mins each might help. Some kids love a set schedule and hate the unknown and indecision.

I work with young kids and there are always a few every year who don't seem to know how to play. They need constant direction and adult assurance and it's really draining. That's in a group of children, so different to your DD OP, but another side of the same thing. They don't know how to occupy themselves and look for someone else to resolve it. I don't think its an issue than can be blamed on parenting, I think it's just the child but I think it can become a pattern by the parent going along with it. Essentially the child is being conditioned to constantly attention seek from adults (to the point of harassing). You'll have to show some tough love here OP and it won't be easy but it's the right thing to do.

She needs to be bored. Really really bored.

The classic method for dealing with kids who are whining that they're bored is find chores for them to do.

If she generally has toys and does activities - which it sounds like she does then maybe she has to learn to occupy herself better. If mine said this I would say "What are you going to find yourself to do then?" Learning to occupy themselves is a skill they need to learn, you are not her entertainments manager!

I think this is partly a question pushing through your own irritation/discomfort to be honest. Do your own thing. If she disturbs that thing tell her you're busy and she needs to leave you to it. Then you have to persist however uncomfortable that is because if you don't she's not going to believe you mean it is she.