Child wants to move overseas

I don't think that the UK's Student Loan system will allow a loan to be used to pay for a degree undertaken abroad, OP.

I think that it's permissible to use the loan to cover a year abroad as part of a UK degree, however.

Whch subject would she like to study?

Make sure she will definitely still qualify for paying home fees when she returns to the UK. Normally you have to have lived in the UK for at least 3 years leading up to starting uni to not pay international fees. I think, but could be wrong, that if she starts paying tax etc. in Malaysia she will no longer be considered a British resident. She needs to somehow be able to show that it's temporary and that her main base is still at home with you.

do you have the cash to fund it op or was she planning on student loans

‘How would you pay for that, since you won’t be eligible for student loans?’ and ‘we won’t be providing any funding for this’ should help her to see that her idea isn’t feasible.

@Gremlinsmoothie

Which subject would she be applying to read at the University in Malaysia, OP?

But she's primarily going to Malaysia to be with her bf.

Six months ago I doubt she could colour malysia in on a map... In common with 90% of 18yr holds I'm sure.

Today I doubt she could name 3 malayan unis... I can't. I'm struggling with 1...

'be with' = what in your eyes? (not THAT naive, surely)

If she knows she's got an inheritance of x thousands sitting in a bank account, plus parents willing to pay fir a UK education, she probably thinks she will be minted living in a country where half the population struggle to make 50 dollars a day...

I think she's got it all worked out in her head, and logistically not at all.

18yr old boys think with their organ, girls with their romanticised hearts...

It does on paper sound v romantic and cool, so long as the money keeps flowing :)

OP, in one of your posts, you say "She's not hugely sociable".

It sounds as though she's somewhat isolated as far as her peer group is concerned. I imagine that she is quite shy.

She would be even more isolated in a country where she doesn't speak the language.

I think that your concerns are very well-founded, given the fuller picture.

That's what I told my parents when I was 18....

I also said I intended to stay a virgin though that ship had sailed long before.

Oh and I would never smoke...

"Tell parents what they want to hear" = smart 18yr old!

Op it would be a bit of a life lesson for her that when you are an adult you don’t just get to go and do what you want - she wants to move to Malaysia - mummy won’t just say yes dear of course !

she wants a gap year or to go to uni abroad - sort it out herself and apply and work to save up and pay for it

i did working holiday visas at 21 & 22
and I had to work my arse off for saving like crazy to afford it living with my parents of course (they didn’t charge me rent which obviously helped massively) then I had to get jobs super fast on arrival to afford to stay there

I had a fun year not working in Asia that I saved up for too

it wasn’t handed to me and I wasn’t helped at all and tbh

most people who do these kind of things sort it and pay themselves surely

she’s so young - so I’d leave her to it and likely she won’t pull it off !!

could you suggest she starts uni here and maybe you could help oh for her to visit Malaysia over Xmas for example ?

then if she proper likes it and wants to make a go of it then she could make the move next summer - which seems way more sensible

I think that he is likely to have a Chevening Scholarship, which has allowed him to come to the UK for a post-graduate course.

One of the stipulations is that scholars have to leave the UK when their course ends, with a further stipulation that they spend the following 2 years in their home countries.

This is probably why he has to leave the UK later this year.

He must be around 23.

This is a difficult situation and I feel for you, OP.

For an 18 year old woman, everything should be pośsible, including studying what she wants, where she wants.

It sounds to me as though her options are about to become narrower, which is a real shame.

This

Theres no point going into logic.

This is a hare brained scheme that has no legs.

Ask lots of questions in a way that you might about your next door neighbours holidays, oh thats nice dear, oh when is that going to be? Oh got your visa yet? Oh, when will you have the money for that then? Oh, whats the accommodation like?

and so on

Let her sort it but make it clear that you will not be funding any of this. She wants to do her own thing? Okay, but she has to sort all the logistics, and wish her the best with it. You never know, she might step up to the challenge and it’ll be the making of her!

Can unmarried couples live together in the same bed in the muslim parts of the country?

Are there consequences?

DD had the same issue in her last year of school. She really wanted a job and applied for lots of stuff. Once she'd left school, she literally went up and down the high street with a bunch of printed out CVs and got lucky because she happened to go into a shop that was looking for staff so I would say just persevere and it might well be easier once she's left school and has more availability.

And it was great with the boyfriend situation (I didn't like him and was proved right eventually) since she made a bunch of new friends at work and had other people to hang out with. She wasn't so dependent on the boyfriend which helped loads when it came to them splitting up.

Can't the boyfriend help with money, rent, travel? He must come from a wealthy malay family and if they are planning their lives as a couple, that should really include finances when the girl is alone on the other side of the planet with different languages, religions, no public health care and so on?

I’d suggest she takes a tefl course here and goes for a gap year out there. She can come back here if it doesn’t work out and she can support herself by teaching English

You don’t need to do anything of the sort!

If my DS18 put this to us he’d be told that we don’t have the money for the fees. Simple as that.

After A levels my DD1 applied to uni got the course she wanted, deferred the place, and went to NZ. Initially for a year, she did 4 jobs between June and April and totally funded it herself. She went with a boyfriend and they both worked various jobs their and travelled to other places nearer to that side of the world. The friend left to do other things and DD1 stayed another year working and travelling. She is a very organised and capable person enjoyed it but realised she did NOT want to live outside the UK permanently (thankfully). She did go to uni, got a good degree and lived in a few cities before settling back very near to me. She has an amazing job and the travelling, organising made her very capable and confident.
I would as others have said be open to it, but would make her fund it herself initially. And say you will only fund when she starts studying (uni) otherwise if it goes wrong (young ppl and relationships odds are it will) she will want to come home and go to uni here and you will pay twice.