AIBU -
Hello! Not really sure if I'm just feeling more sensitive about this as I am on my period, so I thought I'd ask for some perspective. I am late 30s and have been friends with these people for over 20 years.
I sent a message to a friendship group chat yesterday (6 people - myself, DH and four DF) suggesting a trip later on this year with the six of us and the children. Nothing was said, and then this morning I get an invite to another friend's 40th away around the same time frame I suggested. I decided to delete the suggestion from the chat as there had been no response (it would have meant dates clashed also ) with the intention to suggest a new set of dates. I put my phone down for about 3 minutes whilst I thought about what to send in replacement and one of my friends replies as soon as I deleted the message, saying that they are all sick so haven't responded yet but no worries anyway as they have seen that I have deleted it. The tone of the message was just rude and I immediately felt hurt seeing it. There ended up being a discussion around the fact that I deleted the message and how it was a passive aggressive move from me. I've said I understand their interpretation and then explained the whole situation about why I deleted it ine the first place and there ended up being a whole group convo about the fact that I deleted it and how it came across which just feels really silly considering they obviously saw the message, didn't respond and as soon as I deleted it for whatever reason, was able to message about that. It just all feels horribly uncomfortable, awkward and completely unnecessary. I feel like I'm back in school at nearly 40. I have been friends with one of them for nearly 25 years, but as a group we've been friends about 18. We've seen each other through weddings, funerals and births of all of our children but I can't help but feel really upset by my friend's assumption and the tone that they used. I feel like there is an underlying issue at hand. AIBU to feel like this and should I just move on and forget about it or should I try to talk to them about how I feel? Surely, as good friends, I should be able to say this and not fear their response?
TIA!! Xx