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Original poster

Ex ringing 5 times a day

65 replies

mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:06

My boyfriend’s ex partner rings him at least 5 times a day every day and messages, he doesn’t go to family days out with me with my little boy because she will be there is this normal? He says it’s normal co parenting relationship but the calls come really late at night and all through the day every day not always in relation to the children. He’s a good boyfriend apart from this we don’t have issues but she’s constant and I find it really uncomfortable we have booked stuff many times but she will demand the kids back so we can’t take them, she can be nasty but he won’t tell anyone as he says he wants the co parenting relationship to be good

OP posts:
CruCru · 05/04/2026 15:54

Honestly? It sounds as though you don’t live together. At this point a relationship should still be easy and fun - this sounds exhausting. If you finish with this dude, would you be sad or be relieved that you don’t need to tiptoe around his ex?

StationJack · 05/04/2026 15:52

mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:48

@toomuchfaff so I’m not being a brat being bothered by all the fone calls and messages at all times?

I would mind any calls and messages, not because I'm a brat, but because they exclude me and I'm only human.
One or two calls/messages are inevitable but your boyfriend is getting far too many

gostickyourheadinapig · 05/04/2026 15:51

It does not seem likely that this man will ever make you his priority, whatever his reasons for not doing so. I'm sure you can find someone with less baggage.

Original poster
mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:48

@toomuchfaff so I’m not being a brat being bothered by all the fone calls and messages at all times?

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 05/04/2026 15:45

Can’t see the point of him really. Wet is really unattractive.

toomuchfaff · 05/04/2026 15:43

mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:19

yes I think it’s territorial he seems so scared of upsetting her but isn’t worried about upsetting me I don’t understand xx

You've hit the nail on the head.

scared of upsetting her but isn’t worried about upsetting me

The thing is, he has to play her game because she probably will use the kids as a weapon against him and he loses access to his children. You will never beat that threat in any situation (and you shouldn't ever win over his children -rightly so), but while he has an ex who is willing to use his children as a pawn; this isnt a viable relationship, because youre at her whim

I'd end it, no matter if it thought he was the most amazing man, a psycho ex using kids as a pawn is too much baggage for me. Its not a normal co-parenting situation, its a psycho ex situation.

StationJack · 05/04/2026 15:39

mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:22

I’ve been seeing him 8 months they have been split nearly 3 years xx

End it, @mothertomany2025 . His priorities are his kids (quite rightly), his ex, him, you, your DC.

Original poster
mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:38

She booked tickets and told him she’s taking them xx

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 05/04/2026 15:38

mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:36

@BerryTwister I think I just look jealous ending it over this but I have a child to think of x

So both of you have children who have been introduced already to each other.
Far too soon.

Anyway. He doesn't see you as a priority.

End it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/04/2026 15:38

mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:13

No so I had already booked a day out and he found out she had booked tickets on the same day so said he can’t go with me xx

Why not

if it’s his day with the kids why is she going

Original poster
mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:37

He said he had told her but a few months later things are back to how they were

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 05/04/2026 15:36

godmum56 · 05/04/2026 15:35

This precisely OP. Step away.

Show quote history

Which is what you were advised to do in your thread from last November.
Then you said you'd ended it.

Why are you back with him?

Original poster
mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:36

@BerryTwister I think I just look jealous ending it over this but I have a child to think of x

OP posts:
godmum56 · 05/04/2026 15:35

mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:33

@BerryTwister I think this is the case but we can’t move forward like this xx

This precisely OP. Step away.

Original poster
mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:33

@BerryTwister I think this is the case but we can’t move forward like this xx

OP posts:
BerryTwister · 05/04/2026 15:31

mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:19

yes I think it’s territorial he seems so scared of upsetting her but isn’t worried about upsetting me I don’t understand xx

@mothertomany2025 it’s because she is the resident parent of his child. He knows if he pisses her off, she can make it harder for him to see his child.

Edit - sorry I missed the bit about 50-50 child care. Is that court ordered?

amber763 · 05/04/2026 15:29

8 months isnt long at all. I dont think I would even have had him meet my kid just months in, but thats beside the point. You should throw this one back. This is too much drama all round, especially if kids are involved.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 05/04/2026 15:25

Honestly, just end it.
You're not a priority and blended families never work anyway.

ainsleysanob · 05/04/2026 15:24

Not very long is it? Get someone who can offer you what you need and let this one concentrate on his children.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 05/04/2026 15:24

mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:22

I’ve been seeing him 8 months they have been split nearly 3 years xx

Does he have his children 50/50?
Overnight as well?

Original poster
mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:23

Yea he has his children half the week and takes them out xx

OP posts:
Original poster
mothertomany2025 · 05/04/2026 15:22

I’ve been seeing him 8 months they have been split nearly 3 years xx

OP posts:
ainsleysanob · 05/04/2026 15:22

Does he take his own children on days out without you and your child? If not I can see why he doesn’t want to be seen out with yours! Wouldn’t go down well (rightly!) with ex and kids if doesn’t take them out but doesn’t mind going with yours!

Endofyear · 05/04/2026 15:21

I can certainly understand him wanting to foster a good co-parenting relationship but it does sound like she's overstepping with multiple calls a day. What is she calling about?

How long have you been together? If your relationship is to have a future, I think you're going to have to have a conversation with him about having some boundaries with his ex?

Snorlaxo · 05/04/2026 15:21

You can’t make him stand up to her. If you give him an ultimatum then him and the ex will blame you. It’s much easier to move on because he’s not ready to be in a relationship until he becomes less enmeshed in his ex’s feelings.