To feel sad it’s just us

Why not just get divorced and then you can live where you want?

OP could live where she wanted. She wouldn't necessarily be able to take her daughter with her.

I currently live abroad and feel like your DH that we have a better life here and would be concerned bringing the kids up in UK nowadays. But I definitely feel the loss of a large close family some of the time, YANBU.

Why did you move to a different country and how long have you been there?

Are you just missing home because it’s a public holiday or is this something you’ve genuinely been feeling for a while?

I was often on my own on special days, because DH was working. I just made it nice for me and the kids.

I get you. You're comparing to what you used to have. A 'what might have been.'

My mum killed herself this year - we still had the family celebration, but it felt a bit fake and wrong. I was wistful for our old celebrations in her garden for Easter, like we had always done before. I missed what might have been and what has been. Your situation sounds different but similar in some ways.

I hope you find peace with your life, one way or another. There's no point spending too long on what might have been 💐.

You need to find the other "Waifs and Strays". We hosted a waifs and strays Christmas and a waifs and strays Easter lunch for years when we first moved abroad.

Also, find a church. There was likely a nice service and some kind of event today - there was an egg hunt for kids and coffee / chocolate for adults at ours today. It breaks up the special days if they feel long.

Gosh your DD knows how to push your buttons, doesn't she?
Tell her she has been to an egg hunt and a barbecue with her friends and now you and her friends are having family time with your own families. The adults in your family make the decisions and the child follows their lead.

Why not just get divorced and then you can live where you want? @Feelsicktoomuchchocolate

I think your day sounds lovely. I have no extended family, no cousins, etc., it’s never bothered me at all. We live in the UK, but a distance from grandparents. We’ve gone away this year and did an egg hunt in the hotel room, lots of skiing, hot chocolate, snow fights. We’ve never done a big thing Easter and hadn’t even thought about missing out. Sounds like she has a lovely time usually with lots of friends and great parents. Maybe it’s you that’s unhappy, and sad that your husband and daughter love the life they have?

Just want to add im in a very similar position moved abroad 6 years ago and used to do big easter celebrations with all the family...had a very quiet day today with just us and kids ..felt pretty low and similar to you!

My thoughts and you will also read of people who are with others they would prefer not to be with (toxic inlaws are an example).

If your neighbours are all happy as extended families together, your neighbourhood is unusual.

Nothing useful to add except I completely get it. I had exactly the same thoughts today too.

Be grateful you have family you actually want to hang out with on holidays. Plenty with family down the road are estranged from them.

The grass always looks greener. I’ve been with my two little boys today. Husband walked out at Xmas. We’ve been out for lunch, a walk and movies. I’m very lonely but making the most of a bad situation

Where are you? Can you say?

As someone who comes from another country, I can tell you that we've found other families. DD now has a routine heater egg hunt tradition with a friend's family for example! At Christmas or other big celebrations, we often have large groups of people who are NOT related but who don't necessarily have their own family around.

Growing up, we often had people who didn't have anywhere else join us or extended family groups. I have a friend here whose family and mine have been celebrating christmas together for 30 odd years and if either of us are home, we just slot into that as normal.

So I would encourage you to build these friendships locally. Unless there's some big cultural reason, I would imagine that over time you could spend these sort of events with other families and/or that your DD would be welcome at the homes of her friends.

Maybe your daughter is desperate to get out because mum is moping about pining to go home.

Enjoy the bbq, soak up the sunshine, play with dd and suggest to your dh that you have a serious convo about moving home!

I'm a single-parent with no wider family aside from parents I'm quite low contact with. I'm also introverted and have a small group of friends, none of whom have children the same age as mine. I feel ds1 especially would really like it if we had large noisy gatherings but that's just not me. Anyway, there are plenty of people who have large families they don't get on with and have to attend gatherings they don't enjoy. Don't idealise an imaginary situation but try to appreciate the one you have.

It sounds perfect to me, enjoy your relaxing day, I’ve been reading in bed, husband cooking a light lunch and son chilling in room, no entertaining or tidying up, would choose a small gathering on our own every time.

This isn’t really a ‘race to the bottom’ type situation. Your kid being told they can’t play out for 1 day isn’t doing them harm either, they’ve had a nice treat and now get to spend time with their mum and dad, and they had Easter with wider family last year. You may not be happy with your situation but there is nothing bad happening to you. You need to talk to your DH more about your situation generally and if he’s never moving back then you can start weighing up what that means for you. Next year maybe go back to your family for Easter

I sympathise OP. I am in a similar but opposite situation, my husband and I are from a EU country but have moved to Scotland about 10 years ago and our DCs were born here. I miss my family terribly and even more at these times. My DS has reached an age where he realises that we don't see grandparents very often and always asks me when we can go and visit. I am very close to my parents and my brothers, videocall them most days, but it is not the same. I miss celebrating milestones and holidays together. I was very close to my grandparents growing up, I saw them every week and I kind of took it for granted that this would be the same for my future kids. Now my kids are very loved by my family but they won't ever have that kind of relationship, and I feel like I deprived them of this.

I don't have much to advise. I didn't bother much when I was on my own, but now I try and make it special for the DC as I don't want them to grow up focusing on what they missed growing in an expat family. So we cook a special meal and create our own traditions. But I know it is not easy and I always feel very nostalgic and a bit sad on these occasions.

You can't help how you feel, but perhaps there are things you could do to stop the feelings taking over? It's great that you make family events nice (and a family can consist of parents and child, it doesn't have to include extended family), but try to be more in the moment - enjoy the nice day/events you've planned, try to arrange days/meals out or in with friends, enjoy a BBQ in great weather. If you always wish you were somewhere else or with other people, you'll miss out on the good things in front of you.

I was a child growing up in an expat life years ago. We always shared Xmas with another family so it felt more special. Sometimes we’d have two or three families over and each pitched in with an element of cooking. Do you know another expat family you like who you could do this with?

Out of curiosity OP, what were the circumstances of the move abroad? Was it only ever meant to be temporary?

You probably need to unpick the reason for your sadness. It’s probably not just about today, as many other posters have said, so many people don’t live close to their family, or may relationships are poor, or they simply don’t have family. You obviously miss your own family, are you unhappy in other ways? Would you return to the UK without your partner? A lot of things to consider.

Ah I’m sorry, not much advice I’m afraid OP. We have a very small family now, lots of the older generations have passed away, lots of the younger ones out doing their own thing with their own families, as they should be. We try to have get together a bit there’s not many of us now. I can remember when my cousin first got divorced about 20 years ago…she was a young mum with a baby and she said Sundays were awful for her, it was like everyone was doing their own thing with their own family…whereas in the week she could busy with work, her son etc and then in Saturdays she could go to the shops or soft play or her mums…but she said she really felt it on a Sunday. I guess for you these times really heightened your situation.

i do think you’re right about your child though. I know it’s hard to make it “exciting” for her, and you understand why she likes to go to her friends and neighbours but they deserve family days on days like this. Whilst I’m sure they wouldn’t turn away, I think you’re right to keep her with you. I guess you just have to have plans and be upbeat for her. She will pick up on your mood, as hard as it is to be enthusiastic. Is there any way you could go away or have a night over somewhere? I couldn’t afford to do it endlessly but we sometimes took ours away if we really felt it was going to be a downer at home with just us.