To feel sad it’s just us

It is just the two of us on high days and holidays, and has been for 30+ years. Frankly, we love it, and are glad to escape all the pressure and fuss of a large gathering. Big families can be highly overrated!

Guessing your husband won’t consider marriage therapy?

i don’t! Bloody love the uk

Well, I love where I live, in lovely sunny Kent!

I happen to agree with your hubby, that the UK is an awful place to live at the moment. I am sorry you're missing your family, but it is also ok to have a little family celebration together too with just you guys. Give it a little longer to see how you get on, make more friends, keep busy, explore everything on offer and tell your hubby to stop moaning and wanting to disturb other people! He can't have everything his way.

That sounds really miserable, especially as your husband won’t consider moving back home.
Sorry for being naive but why can’t you move back with your daughter?

I totally understand how you feel. I'm also living overseas just me DH & the kids. I've been homesick for the last 10yrs and holidays exasperate the feeling. It's not as easy as 'leave your husband and go home. In my case this is 'home' for my kids, their lives are here my DH also thinks the UK is shit and has absolutely no desire to return, I would go home tomorrow if I could. It's ok to take a minute and feel sad for what you miss. I hope you can also enjoy the day you are having.

I really feel for you. We’ve considered moving to Australia many times due to our careers but decided that our family is the back bone of our happy and content life (even tho they drive us round the bleeding pipe sometimes!) Life in the UK really is far far far from awful.

I’m sorry you’ve had a shitty day. Maybe an extended trip home might help, even if your DH cannot join you and your daughter for all of it.

I live where I grew up and this long weekend we are seeing no one. My parents have gone on holiday. My in laws have other plans. My husband is out all day today for a sporting event so I’m solo parenting two under four. It’s lonely as everyone else is with family and most things are closed. I’m not sure it’s an abroad thing tbh. If you like the rest of the lifestyle I’d suck it up or go on holiday for these occasions if possible so it doesn’t feel so lonely. I’m annoyed as I was going to book a glamping trip but didn’t because we thought we’d see the in laws and it’s Easter.

I understand OP. My situation is different - there is just us because we literally have no family. There is just me and DH and our 3 now adult children . When the kids were little they used to ask why they didn’t have lots of family parties and cousins to play with. Growing up I had no cousins - just an elderly uncle who had never married. I used to envy all my friends always having someone to play with or visit. DH was the same, an only child brought up by his grandparents.

DH used to tell them that one day they will have all that.
And it’s finally started happening - our youngest has just had a baby and our eldest has just got engaged. That’s 2 more places at the table this Christmas.

Your family will grow too OP.

Glad you enjoyed having your opinion rated as much as you enjoyed doing it to others 😅

Thanks for letting me know I can share my opinion. In fact I already had. 😄

Hear, not gwar!!

It is OK to feel sad ... but I am sorry to gwar I represent the "bottom"!!! 😂

Make your own "family" group of friends, their friends work on it

You are totally entitled to share that opinion, and everyone else is entitled to share theirs too. She asked for opinions so all are valid.

I think your feelings will intensify if you don’t tackle this head on with your DH. It sounds like you’re quite unhappy already and today in particular has brought it into focus.

What doesn’t he like about the uk? Objectively, it’s one of the best economies and standards of living in the world.

How far from the UK are you @Feelsicktoomuchchocolate?

I get that but still think it’s shitty.
Maybe I might feel she’s in a better position than I am but I am mature enough to see that it feels hard for her so she deserves empathy for that.

Was the move discussed when having children, though?

Only asking because my friend and his wife moved abroad but once they had children the whole situation had to be discussed and reviewed. In the end they decided to move back to Europe for the baby and live near her family because Ireland has better wages.

They’re miserable tho so you never know how it will pan out.

I’m fairness the Op has posted on AIBU and asked if she’s being unreasonable to be sad… on a board known for debate etc. If she’s just wanted a hand hold there are other boards more suited to that.

I come from a very small family, there’s just my mum and me really, and I’ve always craved big family gatherings. I tried to build it with a community of friends, but it hasn’t really worked out that way. I’m divorced and it’s just me and my two children. We do always have a lovely time just the three of us but, yes, I understand the longing. My mum is amazing, but she doesn’t like to come round or have any interest in having us there really.

All the people telling the OP to be grateful for what she has are being unfair.

It’s ok to feel said for what you don’t have as well as grateful for what you do. Endless ‘my life is harder than yours’ do nothing but make you look unkind IMO. It’s not a competition.

I often feel similarly at Christmas or my birthday and that’s ok but I am ‘luckier’ than others.

Maybe people could try and empathise instead of trying to win the badge for most lonely.

Would your DH want to be this close to his in-laws and have them that involved? Would his family be close by too?

He's not unreasonable not wanting to move. Most people find that much in-law involvement suffocating.