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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fed up of my ex and to go home early?

31 replies

feduplppp · 05/04/2026 13:22

Basically I have a very strained relationship with my ex with whom I share 2 young children with.

He lives in a different city around 35 minutes away and often complains how far it is and how much he spends in petrol (only visits once a week for a few hours).

I booked a place for me and the kids in the city where my now ex now resides for Easter so he could spend time with the kids and visit his family etc.

The first night he went out clubbing with his brother.

Second night he was tired from looking after them and went home before their bed time.

Today he rocks up at 1pm after a full sleep and rest.
I was woken up multiple times as usual.
He is 5 minutes away.

By this time the kids were getting tired and ready for their nap so I told him not to bother.
He has to go early anyway as again he is going clubbing with his brother.

I am furious, I was promised I would get to have a lie in, time to myself etc.

But as usual it's on his terms.

I want to go home to be honest as I am just so fed up.

I want to go through a formal way now as I find my ex is just so unreliable and useless.

The man is mid 40s and acts like a 20 year old I am so fed up of dealing with his laziness.

AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 05/04/2026 13:50

Hang on, youre saying he only lives 35 mins away but moans about the cost of petrol to visit his own DC? And you actually went to the effort and expense of renting somewhere closer to him to facilitate….well, nothing, as it turns out.
Itsounds like you have done more than enough to accommodate his totally unreasonable demands.
He needs to get real. 35 mins away is less than most people’s daily commute. He clearly is able to drive, so why can’t he drive to yours and deal with bedtime as a regular thing? The answer is that he is too lazy and self centred to put himself out for his own children.
YWNBU to do whatever you want, and if that means going home now, do it .
Does he contribute financially? Clearly, with all this clubbing, he has plenty of disposable income, so I would expect him to be paying well over the CMS minimum recommendation.
What is he contacting you daily for? Just don’t pick up, and tell him use the parenting app.

Starbri8 · 05/04/2026 13:38

Go home if you can , know that you are a fab mum , it’s on him …not you . Get everything off of him that you are entitled too , go the legal route for access . From now on facilitate nothing for him . Know you have done your best , look after yourself and your babies . He’s failed you are going to thrive . ❤️

Original poster
feduplppp · 05/04/2026 13:37

He does see the children every week but there is no set schedule.
One of the children is an awful sleeper I paid for a sleep consult last year and I have a strict routine but weekends this goes out the window because of his timings vary so much.

I am exhausted.
He still gets his life whilst I have made sacrifices whilst his life remains the same.

I want to stop him contacting me as he will contact me daily, I want him to go through a parenting app for any communication in relation to the children.

OP posts:
Myfridgeiscool · 05/04/2026 13:30

Go home to your own comfy bed OP. I’d make no more effort.

Passaggressfedup · 05/04/2026 13:29

They are no formal ways to force him to be a reliable dad.

pikkumyy77 · 05/04/2026 13:27

Stop trying to facilitate the relationship. The more you do the less he will do. He will vanish from their lives but you can’t stop that. It us who he is.