AIBU for blowing out my nephew’s birthday candles as a joke

My niece “helped” me blow out the candles on my birthday cake a few weeks ago, is that a cardinal sin too?

You’ll have got the picture by now based on all of the replies. You clearly didn’t think about this being anything other than silly fun started by you, but to most people this is the behaviour of an adult taking a child’s spotlight on their 6th birthday and making a once-a-year moment about themselves. Relighting the candles so a child can it again is not the same. It’s a bit like a bride struggling to cut a wedding cake and a mother in law snatching the knife and taking over. Not your moment. Not your cake.

That’s a horrible thing to do.

I’m sure a child has had plenty of “moments” in his life with lots still to come.

It was a bit of a bad move to make but he will get over it and hopefully forget it quickly.

If OP’s sister keeps making it into a drama he will continue to see it as big deal when candles could have just been lit a second time and it could have been framed that he got longer in the spotlight to blow them out again.

This. I don’t have kids so maybe I don’t get why this is such a big deal, but I’m taken aback by the anger in the comments. I would have assumed it was maybe at worst a bit of a silly thing to do

On that thread you had insisted on having the en suite because of IBS but repeatedly used the others' bathroom "just for a wee". So you didn't need to use it because of IBS therefore your health issue was irrelevant to the situation.

I find a lot of these answers bizarre OP. I have been to lots of parties where the child has struggled to blow out the candles, so an adult has assisted them. Your DN laughed, so I can't see the problem. For your DSis to cause a scene about it isn't normal IME.

You seem to be totally lacking in self-awareness and oblivious to how your actions impact on others, or might be perceived by others. But sure, you're right. You found it funny, so crack on.

I can understand why it didn't go down well.

Maybe I'm a little slow on the uptake, but OP can you please explain the joke? I don't get it.

I remember being 6. I used to take my time blowing out the candles so it would last longer, one of my sons did the same. My other 2 kids used to try and blow it out in one go..you where being a dick. It was your nephew's moment to blow them out in his own way, if it took too long for you then tough. The mother was right to have a go. Main character syndrome springs to mind. You know what, it's not always just about you.

I mean that's hardly a surprise 🤔

Give over. Some kids don’t get parties so we shouldn’t call out an attention seeking selfish adult who ruins the party for er own nephew? Pigs arse. Call out bad behaviour and clearly as the op thinks everything is about her then she deserves to be told off.

Well you we’re lucky

most 6 years olds would be in tears, the failure of not doing it and the wish wasted for a whole year !. Just offer encouragement next time

how can you jokingly blow out candles?

can someone explain please?

did you help him out of kindness?

Having a chronic health condition isn't a get of jail free card for being an insufferable twat
just FYI

OP was literally shitting herself? I missed this, was this the other toilet thread?

I can’t believe how some wound up some posters are getting about this.
They are saying it’s a nasty thing to do but then OP has been called a bitch, twat, dick etc.
It’s a bit hypocritical to accuse someone of being horrible than to call them insulting names.

I know her nephew is a child but that doesn’t mean it’s ok to verbally attack someone, It’s not like she threw the cake in the bin, she blew out a couple of candles and it’s not going to cause psychological trauma for life.

I have lived in a country where kids could only dream of having a birthday party with presents and a cake. They don’t get upset over small disappointments and appreciative the smallest things in life.
OP’s nephew had a party and cake and I assume presents? I’m guessing he was mostly the centre of attention all day and could manage sharing it with his auntie for a few seconds to blow out some candles!
She made a bit of a faux pas that if it had been handled correctly could have been swiftly moved on from, the candles were relit so her nephew could blow them out again, she hadn’t ruined the rest of his life.

I expect I’ll get called names now for not joining in with the pile on and having a different point of view but I don’t think OP deserves the vitriol she’s had about something so insignificant.

Your nephew may have laughed when you blew the candles out, but it was not a kind thing to do - poor judgement on your part - even if he did laugh. You sister clearly wanted him to have 'his moment' and you spoilt it for her and put yourself in his spotlight.

Sounds like you have a major problem with your sister - you talk about her as if you really detest her. Probably best if you avoid her for now. Don't worry about saying no to the next party invite - she probably won't invite you anyway! Not that you'll be bothered though I would imagine!

Really ? Naaaaa

Asshole move.

It wasn't a joke and you know it and so does everyone who was there.

I think everyone that read your toilet thread understood that you have health issues which involve toilet access.

On that thread you explained that on a shared trip away with your DSis and others you requested the only bedroom with an en suite and insisted no-one else used it.

However, you were quite happy to use their shared bathroom loo as it was nearer the living room where you were all hanging out, to "avoid walking down the spooky corridor" to your room (ie nothing to do with your health issue).
You then got very indignant/pissed off when they told you not to use their bathroom, use your own.

Hardly fair.

She may have been to a birthday party before… but I doubt she’ll be invited to one again.

sadly I know someone like this so it’s possible is a real post. Some people really behave like this. Sometimes other people are related to them.

I have just read her comments and thought the same thing!

Im in my 40s and I'd be pissed now if anyone did that to me. Imagine being 6 years old and your own aunt treats you so poorly?!

It's a birthday party. Hard to hold one without organising it and yes, they are supposed to be fun, especially for children. If you object to birthday parties on principle then you shouldn't have been there and you should certainly never celebrate yours.