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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for blowing out my nephew’s birthday candles as a joke

415 replies

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 12:34

My nephews 6th birthday party yesterday. He was struggling to blow all the candles out so I jokingly blew the remaining ones out for him. My sister went on a full on strop over it saying I ruined his moment. AIBU to think she’s completely over reacting?? She ended up relighting the candles for him to “have another go” making it a much bigger deal than it needed to be.

OP posts:
AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 06/04/2026 13:45

Busybeemumm · 06/04/2026 13:30

Not really the point though as how were you to know which way he was going to react. What he is had a full on meltdown? What if he was hurt inside but put a brave face for the unhinged auntie!

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Indeed. I highly doubt he would have been any the poorer for having missed this 'hilarious joke' if OP hadn't done it.

I also find it phenomenally implausible that a 6yo would be be guaranteed to be 'not bothered' by something that almost all 6yo children would find special and exciting. It's kind of sad if a young child doesn't find a bit of focused attention at their own birthday party - with people ready to take photos and videos - a special, valued thing.

Busybeemumm · 06/04/2026 13:30

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 12:39

Just to add nephew wasn’t even bothered, he laughed

Not really the point though as how were you to know which way he was going to react. What he is had a full on meltdown? What if he was hurt inside but put a brave face for the unhinged auntie!

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 06/04/2026 13:27

SaintHildegard · 06/04/2026 10:17

Just an idea for you to reflect on - do you think your nephew might’ve laughed it off because he was genuinely upset/humiliated and didn’t know how to respond in front of other people?

You seem to be focused on your sister - how would it make you feel, knowing you might’ve hurt your nephew’s feelings?

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I have no evidence for this other than my readings of what OP has said herself in her threads; but I do wonder whether she is a 'known quantity' and the whole family are used to 'putting on a brave face' at whatever she might do next.

For those of us old enough to remember Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, Betty frequently had an awkward strained smile and laughed nervously at discovering what new caper Frank might have got up to... I really don't think she was guffawing along at what a smashing hilarious joke it all was.

LilyBunch25 · 06/04/2026 12:38

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:26

No im not neurodiverse. It was a joke. Nephew got the joke, if he’d burst out crying I could understand it but let’s be honest, this isn’t about him is it, it’s about sister and her organised fun.

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Yep. God forbid she organised a fun birthday party for her own child. What a monster.

LilyBunch25 · 06/04/2026 12:36

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 22:30

She’s organised the bloody thing, not me.

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And?!? 🤣 My goodness you are self absorbed. Me, me, me, and everyone else causes my problems, never- me.

SaintHildegard · 06/04/2026 10:17

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 22:30

She’s organised the bloody thing, not me.

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Just an idea for you to reflect on - do you think your nephew might’ve laughed it off because he was genuinely upset/humiliated and didn’t know how to respond in front of other people?

You seem to be focused on your sister - how would it make you feel, knowing you might’ve hurt your nephew’s feelings?

Tableforjoan · 06/04/2026 09:38

For someone you don’t like you spend an awful lot of time with her. Even if she arranges it you don’t have to go.

Since you keep going you either enjoy upsetting her or winding yourself up about her one of the two.

Saladbrains · 06/04/2026 09:22

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 22:30

She’s organised the bloody thing, not me.

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You’re so obviously in denial

topazornottopaz · 06/04/2026 01:04

You’re an awful, awful person. And what “health condition” could possibly excuse this?!

CalishataFolkart · 06/04/2026 00:43

So which was it? Trying to help or a joke? Because you’ve claimed both on this thread.

Trying to help is misjudged and easily solved with an apology.

A joke is a twattish thing to do and easily solved with an apology.

KidsLifePathQuestion · 05/04/2026 22:50

If you did that to my kids when they were 6 they would have been distraught! They'd have been worrying whether it had ruined their birthday wish! You can offer help to blow them out, but these things are so important to kids and we can't use our grown up logic on them. Definitely apologise to him.

ImFinePMSL · 05/04/2026 22:50

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 22:30

She’s organised the bloody thing, not me.

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Don’t bloody go then.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 05/04/2026 22:47

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 22:30

She’s organised the bloody thing, not me.

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So??? If you clearly don't like her then stop being forced to attend events and vacations etc that she organized. You're an adult aren't you?

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 22:30

SaintHildegard · 05/04/2026 22:15

Why do you persist in inflicting yourself on your sister, who you clearly dislike? Take yourself off instead, and have the day you deserve.

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She’s organised the bloody thing, not me.

OP posts:
SaintHildegard · 05/04/2026 22:15

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 21:10

Well we’re going out tomorrow for a walk at a national trust site but after that I think I’ll keep my distance for a bit

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Why do you persist in inflicting yourself on your sister, who you clearly dislike? Take yourself off instead, and have the day you deserve.

Laserwho · 05/04/2026 22:10

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 21:10

Well we’re going out tomorrow for a walk at a national trust site but after that I think I’ll keep my distance for a bit

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Good. Your sister will appreciate that

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 21:10

Delphiniumandlupins · 05/04/2026 19:39

If this is the same sister that you have just been on holiday with maybe you need a bit of space from each other? If you have two sisters you seem to be annoying them both.

Well we’re going out tomorrow for a walk at a national trust site but after that I think I’ll keep my distance for a bit

OP posts:
jdb9803 · 05/04/2026 20:07

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 12:39

Just to add nephew wasn’t even bothered, he laughed

Funny how you mention this AFTER everyone has pointed out you're a twat.

You wouldn't be invited back to my kids parties.

Listlostlast · 05/04/2026 19:57

henlake7 · 05/04/2026 13:45

OP, def took it a step too far.
Pretending you're going to blow the candles out is a joke, actually doing it not so much.

This. Also what a strange thing to do given your history of a poor relationship with your sister. In that context, it’s just a bit hard to believe you didn’t intend to tread on your sisters toes a little, trying to get her back up a bit, without being mega obvious about it.

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 05/04/2026 19:52

I have lived in a country where kids could only dream of having a birthday party with presents and a cake. They don’t get upset over small disappointments and appreciative the smallest things in life.

Was that because their families were very, very poor and couldn't afford to provide what they dearly wished they could for their children, though; or was it because they could easily have afforded to buy presents and a cake, but just thought it might be a fun joke to not bother giving their children anything?

Delphiniumandlupins · 05/04/2026 19:39

If this is the same sister that you have just been on holiday with maybe you need a bit of space from each other? If you have two sisters you seem to be annoying them both.

Highlandtown · 05/04/2026 19:22

Horrible move OP, sorry.

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 05/04/2026 19:22

Rileysp · 05/04/2026 19:14

Genuinely. I have misjudged the mood here. At first I didn’t see it that big an issue. I’m now questioning myself 😂

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You think the sister is bang out of order because she didn't want her adult sister blowing out her child's candles?

NovemberMorn · 05/04/2026 19:20

Rileysp · 05/04/2026 19:14

Genuinely. I have misjudged the mood here. At first I didn’t see it that big an issue. I’m now questioning myself 😂

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Don't.
You don't have to join the pack just because they are enjoying castigating someone.