Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for blowing out my nephew’s birthday candles as a joke

415 replies

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 12:34

My nephews 6th birthday party yesterday. He was struggling to blow all the candles out so I jokingly blew the remaining ones out for him. My sister went on a full on strop over it saying I ruined his moment. AIBU to think she’s completely over reacting?? She ended up relighting the candles for him to “have another go” making it a much bigger deal than it needed to be.

OP posts:
SugarPuffSandwiches · 05/04/2026 13:26

Brewtiful · 05/04/2026 13:20

It's interesting you didn't deny that you did it to annoy her.

Show quote history

Exactly, even if you're annoyed with her, you don't take it out on the 6 year old kid at his party (even if you say he apparently laughed)
Blowing your candles out at that age is half the fun even if it did "take ages" or whatever. Why get yourself that wound up over the time he took to blow them all out? You sound dramatic. Or if you weren't really fussed about how long it took, you sound like you were doing it on purpose.
So dick move whichever way you look at it.

Woodfiresareamazing · 05/04/2026 13:26

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 12:34

My nephews 6th birthday party yesterday. He was struggling to blow all the candles out so I jokingly blew the remaining ones out for him. My sister went on a full on strop over it saying I ruined his moment. AIBU to think she’s completely over reacting?? She ended up relighting the candles for him to “have another go” making it a much bigger deal than it needed to be.

Yes YABU.

AgnesMcDoo · 05/04/2026 13:25

gawd - you don’t blow out a child’s candles 😳

CherryBlossom321 · 05/04/2026 13:25

You did it “jokingly”. What was the punchline?

Cakeandcardio · 05/04/2026 13:25

We were at a 4th birthday party where another child blew out the candles. I felt so sorry for the birthday kid.

Presumably you should know better but you are just a lot self-centred?

Sunnydayze43 · 05/04/2026 13:25

I'm sorry OP, but I too think it was a bad move, although impetuous, I can see that. Lots of parents blow out their kids candles for them if it takes too long, but for you to do it, I think you should have restrained yourself, as he's not your DS.

Your DSis likely wanted to capture the moment; it was obviously a bigger deal to her than to you, or even her DS as he was just living in the moment, as kids do. I would advise you to say you're sorry, to your DSis anyway, to whom it was a big deal.

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:24

Notasbigasithink · 05/04/2026 13:23

Well, I guarantee you won't get to do it for birthday number 7.....
Post's not going the way you expected it to is it OP?

Show quote history

I won’t be going to the next one. My instincts were correct.

OP posts:
Notasbigasithink · 05/04/2026 13:23

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 12:34

My nephews 6th birthday party yesterday. He was struggling to blow all the candles out so I jokingly blew the remaining ones out for him. My sister went on a full on strop over it saying I ruined his moment. AIBU to think she’s completely over reacting?? She ended up relighting the candles for him to “have another go” making it a much bigger deal than it needed to be.

Well, I guarantee you won't get to do it for birthday number 7.....
Post's not going the way you expected it to is it OP?

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:23

Brewtiful · 05/04/2026 13:20

It's interesting you didn't deny that you did it to annoy her.

Show quote history

No I didn’t do it to annoy her, I did it because he was struggling to blow them all out and dare I say - deliberately struggling because everyone was laughing so I simply joined in on the joke. He did laugh when I did it.

OP posts:
SaintHildegard · 05/04/2026 13:22

viques · 05/04/2026 12:59

Was this the one who insisted on using the shared toilet rather than walk down the ooooooh scarey corridor to the ensuite they had insisted they had.

Some people eh! Mind you , if the sun shone out of my arse I would probably insist on the ensuite room……

Show quote history

Ahhh! Total sense. I didn’t realise Main Character Energy was an actual health condition OP, my sympathies.

TheBlueKoala · 05/04/2026 13:22

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:15

You’re really going to go as low as taking the piss out of a health condition I have? Seriously?

Show quote history

Are you ND OP? Because it's obvious to everyone that you don't blow out candles for anyone else, never, unless asked to do so. Especially not a child's birthday candles. When my autistic DS1 was around 6-8he had a thing about wanting to blow out all candles. I had to lphysically hold him to stop him blowing out people's candles. Luckily he finally got it and today at 16 he would never do it because he knows one is not supposed to do that. Yet here we are, a grown up woman doing exactly this to a child. Because it's "funny".

So excuse me for not feeling sorry for you literally shitting yourself when you feel it's your right to methaporically shit on everyone else- Especially a 6 year old!

Theonebutnotonly · 05/04/2026 13:22

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:19

Thank you for the sensible, non hysterical response. Good to see some people on here are still capable of being civil.

Show quote history

But you said you did it jokingly, so it wasn't to "give him a hand".

Soontobe60 · 05/04/2026 13:22

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 12:48

There were two candles left! It’s not like I blew the whole lot out but I’ll take it on board and won’t do it again

So you blew out 1/3 of his candles. You behaved like a 3 year old.

nocoolnamesleft · 05/04/2026 13:21

What sort of person tries to deliberately spoil a 6 year old’s birthday?

Brewtiful · 05/04/2026 13:20

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:19

I didn’t want to but was pressured into going by said sister

Show quote history

It's interesting you didn't deny that you did it to annoy her.

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:19

Brewtiful · 05/04/2026 13:18

You're fed up of your sister...it sounds like you did this deliberately to annoy her. Why even attend the party in the first place

Show quote history

I didn’t want to but was pressured into going by said sister

OP posts:
aintnospringchicken · 05/04/2026 13:19

Your nephew is 6 . How old are you ? That’s the sort of thing another child might do.
As an adult you should know better.

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:19

Lovernotafighter83 · 05/04/2026 13:16

Wow, the comments here are harsh, Mumsnet is more like harshnet!

ideally if he was struggling, his Mum or Dad would step in and ask if he wants help. I think it would have bed. Fine for you to blow them out if you asked ‘shall I give him a hand’. BUT, we all do things in the heat of the moment and it’s about intention. Sounds like your intention was to help him, but a little misplaced. It really isn’t the end if the world and if your nephew was sad, the. I think it’s fine for your sister to re-light for round 2. Not a biggie or worth falling out over xx

Edited

Thank you for the sensible, non hysterical response. Good to see some people on here are still capable of being civil.

OP posts:
Theonebutnotonly · 05/04/2026 13:18

How can you blow out candles "jokingly"? Either you do it or you don’t. You did. Did he think it was a joke and laugh?

Brewtiful · 05/04/2026 13:18

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:16

Well I’m fed up of her

Show quote history

You're fed up of your sister...it sounds like you did this deliberately to annoy her. Why even attend the party in the first place

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 05/04/2026 13:17

honeylulu · 05/04/2026 13:01

I thought this was a reversey percy until I noticed OP's use name and realised it's the Toilet Princess. So I can totally believe she would do something like this and consider it acceptable.

'Reversey Percy' has made me laugh more than it should!!

I noticed the user name too and remembered spooky en-suite-gate. Assuming everything is as presented, it very much does sound like main character syndrome.

Aquarius91 · 05/04/2026 13:16

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:15

You’re really going to go as low as taking the piss out of a health condition I have? Seriously?

Show quote history

Me she’s not, it wasn’t about your health condition, it was about the ridiculous demands after people inconveniencing themselves to make your life easier.

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:16

Aquarius91 · 05/04/2026 13:15

OMG yes it is toilet poster!!
This confirms what I thought in the original thread, you’re an absolute attention seeker and have a bad case of main character syndrome. No wonder your sister flipped, she must be absolutely fed up with you.

Well I’m fed up of her

OP posts:
Lovernotafighter83 · 05/04/2026 13:16

Wow, the comments here are harsh, Mumsnet is more like harshnet!

ideally if he was struggling, his Mum or Dad would step in and ask if he wants help. I think it would have bed. Fine for you to blow them out if you asked ‘shall I give him a hand’. BUT, we all do things in the heat of the moment and it’s about intention. Sounds like your intention was to help him, but a little misplaced. It really isn’t the end if the world and if your nephew was sad, the. I think it’s fine for your sister to re-light for round 2. Not a biggie or worth falling out over xx

Aquarius91 · 05/04/2026 13:15

OMG yes it is toilet poster!!
This confirms what I thought in the original thread, you’re an absolute attention seeker and have a bad case of main character syndrome. No wonder your sister flipped, she must be absolutely fed up with you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread