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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for blowing out my nephew’s birthday candles as a joke

415 replies

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 12:34

My nephews 6th birthday party yesterday. He was struggling to blow all the candles out so I jokingly blew the remaining ones out for him. My sister went on a full on strop over it saying I ruined his moment. AIBU to think she’s completely over reacting?? She ended up relighting the candles for him to “have another go” making it a much bigger deal than it needed to be.

OP posts:
FateAmenableToChange · 05/04/2026 13:38

Children sometimes laugh when they are upset as a coping mechanism to deal with stress, anxiety, or overwhelming emotions. This reaction does not indicate that they find the situation funny; rather, it can be a way to deflect discomfort or embarrassment.

Are you a troll?

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 05/04/2026 13:37

I would never have done that as I know some children would get upset. However, as your nephew laughed, I think it’s OK.

GrealishGoddess · 05/04/2026 13:37

Aaaaand get even more attention with this thread

Augarden · 05/04/2026 13:36

Most responses here are frankly hysterical. It's not that big a deal. The child was happy, what's the problem?

BeaPerry · 05/04/2026 13:35

Aquarius91 · 05/04/2026 13:15

OMG yes it is toilet poster!!
This confirms what I thought in the original thread, you’re an absolute attention seeker and have a bad case of main character syndrome. No wonder your sister flipped, she must be absolutely fed up with you.

Fab response!

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:35

NovemberMorn · 05/04/2026 13:34

You made a bit of a faux pas, but it's hardly the crime of the century.
I'm sure you thought you were helping, and I'm sure you won't do it again. x

Thank you x

OP posts:
NovemberMorn · 05/04/2026 13:34

You made a bit of a faux pas, but it's hardly the crime of the century.
I'm sure you thought you were helping, and I'm sure you won't do it again. x

ilovepixie · 05/04/2026 13:34

You were being a dick.

SpidersAreShitheads · 05/04/2026 13:33

Aquarius91 · 05/04/2026 13:15

OMG yes it is toilet poster!!
This confirms what I thought in the original thread, you’re an absolute attention seeker and have a bad case of main character syndrome. No wonder your sister flipped, she must be absolutely fed up with you.

Yes, completely agree. I hadn’t recognised the poster initially but this OP has exactly the same “me, me, me” energy as the last one!

Zov · 05/04/2026 13:33

SugarPuffSandwiches · 05/04/2026 13:31

but let's be honest, this isn't about him is it, it's about sister and her organised fun
Your dig at your sister and "organised fun' says it all.
No, it's not about him but all about you and wanting to shit (metaphorically speaking) all over his "organised" party just to wind your sister up.
Sounds like you need to grow up and stop involving a 6 year old in your dramatics.

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100% this. The level of attention seeking and main character syndrome (from the OP) is strong here! 😬

CheddarCheeseAndCrispSandwich · 05/04/2026 13:32

This reply has been deleted

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cottingleyfairy · 05/04/2026 13:32

That’s a really mean thing to do to a child.

Clefable · 05/04/2026 13:32

I would love to hear the other side’s perspective on this and toiletgate.

Zov · 05/04/2026 13:32

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:26

No im not neurodiverse. It was a joke. Nephew got the joke, if he’d burst out crying I could understand it but let’s be honest, this isn’t about him is it, it’s about sister and her organised fun.

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OP: AIBU?

Everyone: Yes you are.

OP. No I'm not, you're all wrong!

I am willing to bet that your SIX year old nephew did not 'get the joke.'

Main reason being..... there was no joke. You didn't do anything funny. What on earth can you possibly think is funny about what you did?

How bizarre. Confused

SugarPuffSandwiches · 05/04/2026 13:31

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:26

No im not neurodiverse. It was a joke. Nephew got the joke, if he’d burst out crying I could understand it but let’s be honest, this isn’t about him is it, it’s about sister and her organised fun.

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but let's be honest, this isn't about him is it, it's about sister and her organised fun
Your dig at your sister and "organised fun' says it all.
No, it's not about him but all about you and wanting to shit (metaphorically speaking) all over his "organised" party just to wind your sister up.
Sounds like you need to grow up and stop involving a 6 year old in your dramatics.

Anyahyacinth · 05/04/2026 13:30

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:24

I won’t be going to the next one. My instincts were correct.

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All you need to do is apologise. Then maybe think why you wanted to step in. Reflecting on why we do things helps us grow/ improve.
So many lovely GIFs you could send your sister to say an easy and heartfelt sorry.
Then don't sulk and definitely go to the next Birthday celebration and be a fun and kind guest..all over...life moves on.

3luckystars · 05/04/2026 13:30

I think maybe you should go and talk to someone as you seem to not understand the impact your actions have on others.

To do this to a small child on his birthday is not in any way funny. If you have to ask here, then I’m wondering what other obvious things you are doing to hurt people, and then say it’s a joke. It’s not your fault if you don’t instinctively know these things but to continue to do them will alienate you from others.

Peggyplunkett · 05/04/2026 13:29

OP you’re not a nice person are you?
Surely you must know this is poor conduct.

Zov · 05/04/2026 13:29

Ally886 · 05/04/2026 13:15

A man once kicked my dog. I was angry but I didn't punch him in the face.

If someone blew my candles out as a joke they'd be getting a swift bunch of fives. In fact if your nephew blew out my candles as a joke, the same would apply

I'd have kicked him back. Hmm

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:28

CinnamonBuns67 · 05/04/2026 13:27

It's not funny if you are the only one laughing OP, nobody else saw it as a joke especially your 6 year old nephew. Apologise to your nephew and next time you are tempted to do something "jokingly" consider if it'll actually be considered as such by the intended audience.

Sorry, didn’t realise you were there?

OP posts:
CinnamonBuns67 · 05/04/2026 13:27

It's not funny if you are the only one laughing OP, nobody else saw it as a joke especially your 6 year old nephew. Apologise to your nephew and next time you are tempted to do something "jokingly" consider if it'll actually be considered as such by the intended audience.

viques · 05/04/2026 13:27

AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:19

Thank you for the sensible, non hysterical response. Good to see some people on here are still capable of being civil.

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Good to know you can recognise civility, because blowing out a six year olds birthday candles is not a very civil thing to do.

Original poster
AliceNotInChains · 05/04/2026 13:26

TheBlueKoala · 05/04/2026 13:22

Are you ND OP? Because it's obvious to everyone that you don't blow out candles for anyone else, never, unless asked to do so. Especially not a child's birthday candles. When my autistic DS1 was around 6-8he had a thing about wanting to blow out all candles. I had to lphysically hold him to stop him blowing out people's candles. Luckily he finally got it and today at 16 he would never do it because he knows one is not supposed to do that. Yet here we are, a grown up woman doing exactly this to a child. Because it's "funny".

So excuse me for not feeling sorry for you literally shitting yourself when you feel it's your right to methaporically shit on everyone else- Especially a 6 year old!

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No im not neurodiverse. It was a joke. Nephew got the joke, if he’d burst out crying I could understand it but let’s be honest, this isn’t about him is it, it’s about sister and her organised fun.

OP posts:
henlake7 · 05/04/2026 13:26

I dont have kids, no friends or relatives have kids and I never interact with them....but I believe the correct response in this situation is, 'do you need help?'.
Then do what the kid wants (not act like a giant knob).

Growlybear83 · 05/04/2026 13:26

That was a really nasty thing for you to have done, and is one of those things that your nephew is always going to remember. It’s irrelevant that your sister re-lit them - you ruined part of your nephew’s birthday celebration. Things like blowing out your candles is very important to children at that age.