Christening Etiquette?

I feel differently about weddings and christenings because weddings don't require me to renounce Satan etc. You're only asked to support the couple in their marriage which I happily do.

You only have to say that if you're a God-Parent (not unreasonable!). That's true for Catholic faith anyway.

She's probably just trying to be polite to non-religious friend. I would do the same. However, if you'd like to go then go, and I would imagine she would be pleased that you made the effort to share that moment with her.

Here's a guide for guests at a baptism service:
A warm welcome for christening guests | The Church of England

There are different ones for parents and godparents.

No, don't do that. Just don't go. Weird you were invited anyway.

Since you asked

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Properties_and_finances_of_the_Church_of_England

I feel differently about weddings and christenings because weddings don't require me to renounce Satan etc. You're only asked to support the couple in their marriage which I happily do.

It's not your problem, but it is very careless on the church's part. They don't seem to understand charity law or fundraising regulations.

Ummmm ok? Not sure of your point? We spoke to the vicar to arrange it. Asked how much it cost. He said it didn't as we were having it as part of the Sunday service but they suggested a donation of £x (I can't remember how much this was). So that's what we did.

Every parish is self-supporting.

CofE doesn't fund running expenses and staff costs, but may give tiny grants for specific projects.

In my last parish there were big parties around the Christening service. They seemed to have taken on the place of weddings in some areas. Everyone came to the service. I developed an introductory talk about what we were doing, how long it would take and where the loos were as most people were not used to being in church. I used to include a request that guests respected the wishes of the parents to have their child baptised. . From the front, as the priest, I could see the eye rolling, the talking behind hands and the outright contempt for what was happening in the worst cases.

If your friend really can’t stand being in a church then maybe it’s best if she stays away. It will look rude if she just rocks up for the tea and cake in the garden but if it’s a big affair with a hundred guests it’s less obvious. Her choice. Local venues wouldn’t hold post Christening parties in that parish as the behaviour in church got worse when fuelled by alcohol in the pub/hotel/community centre.

No. That’s rude.

I could maybe understand if there was a huge guestlist and the ceremony was in a tiny chapel. Otherwise it's really rude.

if you do not go to the ceremony, then to me you miss the whole concept of the occasion. just going to the party after seems downright rude to me. what is the point in doing that?

I think that some of the churches are very old and very beautiful, but more importantly help and serve local communities. I personally would think it might be appropriate for those at the apex of the hierarchy to sell some assets in order to financially support this, but, as I said, not my call.

Interesting. The C of E is a huge, very rich organisation, owning a lot of property and land. I would be questioning why they can't support small churches for communities, but it's not my call.

Good Question. The Church may have lots of money but it doesn’t find its way to local churches. I used to be the treasurer for our local church and we didn’t receive a penny from the Church hierarchy. We had to pay for the church repairs and something called ‘Parish Share’ which was c£8,000 a year which we paid to cover the cost of the vicar. It’s a lot for an average congregation of 20 who have one service a month. The collections made at the very infrequent Christening and Weddings were very welcome

They are land rich and cash poor. Congregations are at an all time low so their cash flow has been significantly reduced.

My apologies. You used the term "mass" which is what made me think that you were Catholic.

Just to spell it out for you, the reason that people provide tea and refreshments after a christening is so that guests who have travelled can have a rest and something to eat and drink before driving home again.

So there's really no reason to go to the party bit unless you've been to the christening.

Anyway, I'm going to agree with pp - it would be very rude to just go to the party.
Some people seem to have a very low threshold for what they consider to be "boring" nowadays.

If it's in the Church of England, why is it struggling with the upkeep? Isn't the C of E a massive and very wealthy organisation?
I'm not having a go, it genuinely puzzles me!

The whole point is the service. I would be appalled if I invited someone to my child's christening and they only turned up to the party afterwards (which, traditionally, is low key, just tea and cake).
So YANBU, OP...... at all!

I'm COE.

Don't mention an amount...

£20 ??