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Original poster

Unreliable daughter - do I put my foot down?

485 replies

AyiaNanna · 04/04/2026 18:44

As much as I’ve been very excited for grandchildren I have always made it clear that I’m not prepared to do any childcare. She only returned to work last week and already she’s asked me to cover next week. Supposedly she’s only just found out that the nursery is closed.

Should I agree or am I opening up the floodgates and encouraging yet more requests!

Do I say no and let her sort herself out?

OP posts:
DespairMode · 04/04/2026 18:49

you sure you're excited about grandchildren?

Bigearringsbigsmile · 04/04/2026 18:49

I think you're being wholly unreasonable! You'd let your daughter struggle ?? They're your grandchildren!

rubyslippers · 04/04/2026 18:49

I would help in an emergency for sure

shuffleofftobuffalo · 04/04/2026 18:48

If you want to say no, say no. I think you’re right it will open the floodgates. Some nurseries won’t let the kids in with any hint of illness, she’ll be on to you to cover that for sure as well.

No one is obligated to do any childcare. My parents did 1 afternoon a week for which I was very grateful, but the expectation some people have of grandparents is beyond unreasonable imo.

gingercat02 · 04/04/2026 18:48

Seriously no child care? No babysitting, no odd sick day, no occasional overnights?
Nothing
Any reason?

Dalmationday · 04/04/2026 18:47

With family like this who needs enemies

MatildaTheCat · 04/04/2026 18:47

I suggest you talk to her and establish exactly what is happening. I wouldn’t want to do a week of childcare but I would be available for true emergencies.

Does it have to be so black and white?

BruFord · 04/04/2026 18:46

I’d say yes as realistically, she’s not going find alternative childcare at this late stage.

But, make it clear that this is a one-off and once she’s familiar with the nursery’s schedule, she needs to sort out childcare well in advance.

Butchyrestingface · 04/04/2026 18:46

AyiaNanna · 04/04/2026 18:44

As much as I’ve been very excited for grandchildren I have always made it clear that I’m not prepared to do any childcare. She only returned to work last week and already she’s asked me to cover next week. Supposedly she’s only just found out that the nursery is closed.

Should I agree or am I opening up the floodgates and encouraging yet more requests!

Do I say no and let her sort herself out?

She needs to sort herself out on this occasion but do you really mean you wouldn't offer any childcare - ever?

Easterbunnyishotandcross · 04/04/2026 18:45

What are your reasons for your decision?

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