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AIBU?

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AIBU to be confused by sibling invite?

111 replies

PearLover4 · 04/04/2026 17:46

I have somehow managed to get my child to 10 without having to hold a birthday party (born at Easter so we always go on hol instead!) so next week we are having our first party. It's at the house, small scale, drop off and go as the kids are all old enough. We invited 6 kids from school and out of this, 2 have asked if siblings can join and my mind is blown! Is this normal?

For context, one of these asked siblings is 3 years older, the other 3 years younger! My daughter doesn't know or play with them. They will be strangers at the party to everyone except their sibling, who will then be forced to stick to them. The party girl won't be as comfortable when 2 out of the 8 guests she doesn't know and didn't invite. I now have to not only buy more stuff, but also think about whether the activities I had planned cater for these new kids who I do not know. And if you're wondering why I said yes, I was kind of blindsided and it was put to me as if this was the done thing. Which having spoken to some other friends about this, it does indeed seem to be normal!

This has blown my mind. Never when I was younger would I have thought to be invited to my sisters parties. And as a parent, what goes through the mind when you ask? I know your other child is the most important person in the world to their sibling, but they mean nothing to the rest of the friend group - and if they did, they'd have got an invite! Am I out of touch on this and do I need to change my attitude? I'm doing my best to accommodate them and hope they have fun, before anyone thinks I'm a terrible grouch! I just feel like Lucky's Dad when he realised the rules of Pass the Parcel have changed since he was a kid 😂

OP posts:
kombuchabucha · 04/04/2026 17:58

It's normal to ask to bring a sibling along to a party that parents are staying at - usually because of childcare reasons.

I'd say its very odd to ask if a sibling can attend a drop off and go party, especially if they don't know your daughter. I guess the parents might want to be child-free during the party time to get some time to themselves?!

Do you know the parents well enough to speak to them about it and say your daughter doesn't feel comfortable with children she doesn't know attending, especially when it's a small intimate party? I know it'll be awkward, but I feel your daughter deserves to enjoy her party, especially as its her first!

The flip side I guess is that if your daughter has been attending these other friends parties since they started school together, maybe the cheeky parents that asked to drop siblings off too feel you owe them in some way?! If they've catered for your daughter for 6 years worth of parties I mean.

Hibernatingsloth · 04/04/2026 17:57

OP, I think you're being used as a free babysitting service for the parents to be child free.
It's definitely cheeky.
And makes things far more stressful for you, as I highly doubt the 13 year old will want to play with the 10 year olds and the 7 year old may irritate them.
Sending luck!

ColdAsAWitches · 04/04/2026 17:56

I mean, you're overreacting by having your mind blown. What's the harm in them asking? Just say, no sorry it's just a small party for her immediate friends.

PoppinjayPolly · 04/04/2026 17:56

at 10, def drop off and go… just respond “oh you don’t need to stay, drop off is fine, we’re tight for space so don’t worry!”

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 04/04/2026 17:56

At 4 or 5 yeah i get it.

At 13 and 7 those parented are taking the piss. Just say no....

OneTimeThingToday · 04/04/2026 17:55

At 10years ild... no it isnt normal. Especially at home.

At 5yo asming if the toddler can go to soft play its a bit different.

YourHeartyFatball · 04/04/2026 17:54

Not at a party where you drop your kids off. It might be different if the parents had to stay and watch but 10 year olds are quite capable of being without a parent at a party.

Pearlstillsinging · 04/04/2026 17:53

I am amazed that a 13 yr old wants to go to 10 yr old's birthday party!

Uptightmumma · 04/04/2026 17:52

I hate this!! I would never taken my other child to a party they had not explicitly been invited too!! I wouldn’t even ask

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 04/04/2026 17:52

No, at that age it’s strange as usually you’d drop the kids off. particularly the older kid- that’s not even like they are after free babysitting and they definitely won’t want to be there! Did they give a reason?!

For younger kids, I just assume siblings will come to make sure everyone can make it even if single parents etc.

whitehawthornblossom · 04/04/2026 17:49

Kind of. Soft play parties are the parties of choice round here and people take siblings but pay for them to enter the soft play.

I do think there’s a different ‘done thing’ ranging from school to school and possible even class to class. I mean I wouldn’t do it myself but I probably wouldn’t accept the invite for a home party either.

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