AIBU to be confused by sibling invite?

totally agree
and what 13 yr old would go to a party for a 10 yr old??

Well you wouldn’t have come across it as you haven’t hosted a DC’s birthday party before.

I think it’s fine to say now you are planning party activities you’ve realised having a mixed age range won’t work and to say the two siblings can’t come. You don’t owe them anything, your DC doesn’t even know them.

10yrs old ? They stay alone surely

so no

but tbh even if younger to me it’s a no

and yes know you said yes

so put your big knickers on and say Birthdsy girl only wants her friends there

At 4/5, parents are staying so they might have to bring a sibling if the other parent isn’t around. If they’re not staying, it’s weird to ask about bringing a sibling

Have you made it clear that it's a drop off party? I've only heard parents ask for siblings to come when they can't get childcare for the sibling. If it's clear it's drop off, asking you to care for a 3 year old sibling is really cheeky.

This it total cheeky behaviour. Absolutely no need for a drop and go party and especially not at that age.
When mine were younger and I had to stay at the party I often took my younger daughter and she would join in a bit if it was an entertainer/ bouncy castle type of party in a hall or I would pay for her to go to the soft play etc but wouldn't have expected food (if it was a per head type, usually offered if it was buffet where there is lots available) or party bag.
No way would I just invite my other sibling to a small party at a private house.

Message the parents in question and say “just checking you’ll be staying if you’re bringing both kids”… if they say yes, fine. If they say no tell them you’ll have your hands full enough with six, and can’t take any extras.

I'd get back to them and say a very generic 'Sorry, we can't accommodate siblings. Looking forward to seeing X at the party'. Why on earth do people think this is OK if they don't have to stay so don't have childcare issues? CF, imo.

It wasn’t normal when our children had parties, you always got the CF’s though! They could either drop and run or not attend, I didn’t accommodate siblings after the first party we held in a hall and numerous parents rocked up with siblings and helped themselves the food before it was supposed to be unwrapped. Then we had a tantrum from one sibling because they wanted to blow out the candles, the mother wanted me to relight them so their child could blow them out and was furious when I refused. It was strictly no siblings after that fiasco.

The 7 year old is CFry, the 13 year old is just plain weird.

Who foists an adolescent on a primary school party????

It wouldn't bother me. When my kids had parties at the house it was always a mix of school friends, siblings friends, neighbourhood kids. Some parents stayed, some dropped off. If it doesn't work for you just say no.

It's people looking for free childcare

One of the children in question is thirteen! What childcare does a 13yo need for what is presumably a few hours in the afternoon?

Just say no. It’s cheeky.

It's people looking for free childcare.

If you're in a culturally diverse place it might be more different expectations than CFery. At school abroad in a very diverse school, quite a few parents were clearly a bit non-plussed by the idea of birthday parties that weren't basically free for alls, bring siblings, bring the cousins who are staying with you, parents more than welcome to stay and socialise, etc. And, to be fair, they threw parties like that that were extravagant and great fun, but still not what my kids wanted for their birthdays.

I'd message back and say you were caught off guard and you can't accommodate extra children. Do it for your daughter, she won't want strangers at her first party.

Ps. extra children rarely bring merriment.

Hard agree.

You might not mind but does your dc mind and the other guests? I am surprised you have agreed to it. It’s huge cfuckery from the parents who asked and I really hope it’s ok for you and for your dc. You are clearly a v kind person.

We let an older sibling come to a gym party and he hit the (female) instructor because of some perceived slight to his sister. Never again. Weird family and very protective older brother, but didn't see it coming. Profuse apologies to the venue from me, which were accepted fortunately.

It is cheeky, especially as it is at your house. But I imagine it's because they are thinking they can't come otherwise ie no other childcare. I would maybe just reply 'sorry, we don't have room for siblings too. I'm assuming parents will just drop off and pick up later.'

Normal in reception age as someone with a 4 year old has to stay and if they also have another small child, they can't leave them at home.

But absolutely NOT normal at this age.

Your child is very understanding to put up with it.

The siblings are probably fuming too!!

Basically it doesn't work for anyone EXCEPT the very cheeky parents.

OP, I think you're being used as a free babysitting service for the parents to be child free.

For a 13yo???? Surely she could be left at home for a few hours, or take herself off to one of her own friends, if her parents had something they needed to do. I'm surprised any 13yo would willingly go to a party with a lot of 10yos she doesn't know.