So angry at husband and cannot let it go

The ‘pushing past consent’ when you told him to stop is horrendous. He’s a rapist. I’m so sorry and I’m not surprised you’ve fallen out of love for him. And yes, the only liking you when you’re tiny is vile. He doesn’t see you as a human. I hope you can leave and move on and have a better life.

My thoughts exactly...very concerning

This sounds terrible. And OP, continuing to force sex when you've told him to stop because it hurts is not sexual roughness, it's sexual assault/rape. I know that's hard to acknowledge in a relationship (I've experienced exactly the same) but that is what it is. You should not stay with someone like this because you have children, why would you want to teach them that this is how relationships should be?

It doesn't sound as if you want him near you anyway, so please do not stay with him "for the kids". Divorce him so you can both move on with your lives. Take it from someone who wishes they took their own advice many years earlier!

And? Don't you think your children are better off in the long run to have two happy parents. For God's sake don't stay together for the sake of the children.

All the more reason not to model this horror of a relationship to impressionable children.

Agreed
your dislike for him leaps off this page and must be v toxic for your children to actually live with

his dad thinks he is gay so its not like you will be shocking the in-laws with a break up

is he a good dad will he co parent well ?

my other thought is paedophile because he only wants sex when you are v small? Have you checked his hard drive / phone for porn ?

Yeah, the poor children growing up in this environment 😕

Sorry OP, sounds like the issue is your DH is gay, or at least bisexual but has never had the chance to explore sex with men which is putting him off sex with women. Perhaps when you’re a size 10-12 (which is no way large) you look more womanly which causes him more of an issue?

to be honest, I don’t think it really matters whether his problem is your weight, your gender or whether you keep beating him at Trivial Pursuit. The fact is you’re done with him, and the question is do you continue is a sexless, loveless, even friendless marriage, or do you make the leap?

make the leap.

That’s a reason he shouldn’t be your husband FYI. It’s important to role model healthy relationships to the next generation.

(Not saying it’s easy to leave, but that’s not a reason to stay).

Op. If you’re staying because you have suspicions your children wouldn’t be safe with him alone, can you compile evidence so that you can get divorced and he isn’t allowed unsupervised access?

Why would you stay with each other if it’s like this?

@DeepRubySwan is he really rich?. Thats the only explanation I can think of for this. Divorce and get as much as you can😁

If he's losing weight, making an effort it may not be for you but other men. I've known two men who upped and left their families for another man leaving wife and kids behind.

I am divorced op. My children are perfectly happy. AND they’ve learnt that they don’t have to put up with shit from their husband. AND they’re working hard at school to get the qualifications to get a good job to be financially independent so that they can get free. I did get divorced for myself as it happens, but with the benefit of hindsight, I also got divorced FOR my daughters.

Poor man? He’s a misogynist prick.

i am sorry you are dealing with this-I’m angry on your behalf. I’d be worried about him-in regards to him liking you very thin…seems like he’s turned on by ED or childlike you. It’s just an icky feeling I get. I’m sorry.

Look you obviously are not happy together. You hate him, maybe he feels the same towards you (obviously we don’t have his side). Just split up. The kids will be fine and happier long term with happy parents

I think it’s time for a blunt conversation
if you want to to stay together for whatever reason
you need to find away forward
give up in the concept of marriage
you need to go to housemates and build your own life

I think it will be a relief for both of you

my friend has done this and they get in like a house on fire

you’ve nothing to lose

I don't think this is about your weight. Whilst many men have preferences for a woman to be a certain way, the desire to have sex usually very strongly outweighs this. I think there's an underlying issue with his sexual orientation, or his testosterone level is very low.

You only get one life … don’t waste it in a shit relationship .
You will regret it. Maybe not yet but one day you’ll look back and wonder why you wasted all those years. And once they’ve gone - there’s no getting them back.

I can't believe you've wasted 26 years with him, I'd be angry at myself for allowing this........

It sounds like the marriage is over, for good reason. The thing you're hung up on seems minor but it may be easier for you to focus on that than the fact that he has not taken your relationship and feelings seriously. There is a better life for you than this. You are angry with him for much bigger reasons than this.

It really doesn’t make a lot of logical sense that he wants to have sex with you when you’re slimmer, that he’s is gay. I cannot see the correlation. Can you explain it?