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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel weird about mixing work and social life?

8 replies

NiftyJadeSheep · 03/04/2026 22:13

I have always kept my job and personal life seperate. I find work nights out hard and have avoided them at all costs- purely because I don’t want my work and my outside of work personality to meet 😂 I love my job but I requires a high level of professionalism at all times. We had a work night out a few days ago and this time I had to go and now I’m overthinking it. Did I say something silly, to offend etc I don’t drink much (had a glass
of fizz and then soft drinks all night) but I love to dance and I just danced the night away living my best life. But the next day I felt really embarrassed when I woke up that work has seen a different side of me - and this is why I don’t like going out with work people as I don’t want to feel silly. I go out lots with my friends dancing and have the best times, but have never shown work this side of me ! Anyone else feel like this? I did think I’m probably being silly as some people drank lots and ended up doing some silly things (no judgement I don’t care!) so I think me dancing was probably absolutely fine. And by dancing it’s nothing provocative but more jumping about to come on Eileen type vibes

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Screamingabdabz · 04/04/2026 19:44

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

MrsDutchie88 · 04/04/2026 19:41

You’re overthinking

Quine0nline · 04/04/2026 19:34

I enjoy my work, I work with a good bunch of women and at work we all get on well. We get on because we work together. I work because I like/need the money and that's it.
I have friends who I socialise with - similar hobbies, neighbours and mutual friends of dh.
I keep them separate. I don't go to enforced jollity at work. I dont drink and don't intend to share my personal life with my work friends. Sorry not sorry. I would not like to upset a work friendship by having a well meaning colleague saying "go on have a drink"

TON618 · 04/04/2026 19:27

YANBU. Honestly, I could have written the original post myself. Some work friends are real friends and I'm not even that different at work than how I am at home. But still ... Everything has to stay in it's own box and it's somehow mortifying when worlds collide. I can't explain it other than being a very private person, maybe.

NiftyJadeSheep · 03/04/2026 22:32

Uptightmumma · 03/04/2026 22:22

I will go out and even if I haven’t had a drink, if the people I was with haven’t contacted me by lunch I presume they are all laughing at me, I did something wrong etc!!! But literally no one has ever cared.

Yes same! Why do we do that? As I know people are just thinking about themselves. I never go home and think about anyone else actions or judge them etc . I would love to shake this feeling as it was a great night , but I think ahh I was talking about things like the space rocket launch and other things and feel slightly embarrassed 😞 oh well!

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Uptightmumma · 03/04/2026 22:22

NiftyJadeSheep · 03/04/2026 22:18

Yes that’s what it is- anxiety! It’s not from being drunk or anything as I’m not a big drinker but just showing a different side of me and talking about different things. Weirdly though I love the people who dance and get involved so not sure why I give myself such a hard time the next day!

I will go out and even if I haven’t had a drink, if the people I was with haven’t contacted me by lunch I presume they are all laughing at me, I did something wrong etc!!! But literally no one has ever cared.

NiftyJadeSheep · 03/04/2026 22:18

Uptightmumma · 03/04/2026 22:16

Some of my best friends are the people I went work nights out with and got silly!

I get anxiety like this after every night I go on. Whether that’s friends, family parties. Work etc. people are probably happy they seen you let your hair down

Yes that’s what it is- anxiety! It’s not from being drunk or anything as I’m not a big drinker but just showing a different side of me and talking about different things. Weirdly though I love the people who dance and get involved so not sure why I give myself such a hard time the next day!

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Uptightmumma · 03/04/2026 22:16

Some of my best friends are the people I went work nights out with and got silly!

I get anxiety like this after every night I go on. Whether that’s friends, family parties. Work etc. people are probably happy they seen you let your hair down