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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel uneasy not meeting anyone in his life yet?

42 replies

Imowningup · 03/04/2026 20:11

Help a girl out…

In my first relationship since separating 2 years ago and I’ve been seeing the new guy for 6 months. It’s all SO good. He’s emotionally available, transparent, considerate, consistent, no drama, good Co parenting relationship with his ex (50:50), stable job, shared values etc etc

I have 2 primary age children and he has 3 older children (23, 19 and 14) of which one lives with him and one is with him every other week (one is at uni and the uni is closer from dads than mums) so to date we haven’t met kids/families etc and I’m ok with that. I won’t even consider introducing him to my kids for another 5/6 months.

My issue- it’s not just the kids we haven’t met- it’s anyone. I actually feeL
as if I’m in a secret relationship. Is it normal for 6 months in to not have met friends other family etc? I know I could take the lead but I almost now feel
as if I’m mentally building it into something it isn’t. Am I? Is this normal? I guess I want to start seeing other parts of his life and for him to share parts of mine. Is that unreasonable at this stage? Any suggestions as to how I bring it up?

OP posts:
Original poster
Imowningup · 03/04/2026 20:57

Belleends · 03/04/2026 20:55

Make the first move 🤷‍♀️

I think I need to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Imowningup · 03/04/2026 20:56

Belleends · 03/04/2026 20:52

Strikes me that maybe neither of you are sure that this has legs

That's the odd thing- he clearly indicates it has. He is VERY vocal about this and is open to being vuneralbe about his feelings. I also feel the same.

OP posts:
Belleends · 03/04/2026 20:55

Make the first move 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Imowningup · 03/04/2026 20:54

Belleends · 03/04/2026 20:20

Has he met your friends and family? And you have not suggested it.

Is he very close to his ex?

Edited

No this is partly because when. have the opportunity to see him I do that instead of arrange things with friends but I should now just book a diner for both.

He is friendly with his ex. They've been apart for 13 years though and he's had significant relationships in that time.

OP posts:
Belleends · 03/04/2026 20:54

Imowningup · 03/04/2026 20:52

I'm aware of this. I think the subtle diffrence is we tend to meet closer to where I life so while there hasn't been an introduction to my friends he has met people I know in passing (when out for food etc). I've not once met ANYbody he has even said hello to.

I do appreciate I could just offer he joins me and a few friends next week, I just feel I've made this into a big issue in my head or maybe I'm worried he isn't as invested as me and if I suggest it he's going to be horrified.

Show quote history

This is all odd

you have have friends central to your life and all that’s Happened is you’ve bumped in to people in passing you know… but fact he has not bumped in to people he knows (not odd conssiding he’s coming to your area) has concerned you?

catipuss · 03/04/2026 20:52

Does he have friends? And he may not want you to meet family yet, it's complicated when there are children involved.

Belleends · 03/04/2026 20:52

Strikes me that maybe neither of you are sure that this has legs

Original poster
Imowningup · 03/04/2026 20:52

Childanddogmama · 03/04/2026 20:28

It sounds like he hasn't met your family and friends? He could be wondering why he hasn't met yours!!
6 months is an great time to start meeting people so why not take the lead and he will probably follow.

I'm aware of this. I think the subtle diffrence is we tend to meet closer to where I life so while there hasn't been an introduction to my friends he has met people I know in passing (when out for food etc). I've not once met ANYbody he has even said hello to.

I do appreciate I could just offer he joins me and a few friends next week, I just feel I've made this into a big issue in my head or maybe I'm worried he isn't as invested as me and if I suggest it he's going to be horrified.

OP posts:
Belleends · 03/04/2026 20:52

Imowningup · 03/04/2026 20:48

I'm definitely the more social and have a wide circle of friends who are pivotal in my life.

Show quote history

But you haven’t introduced him to a single one

Coclare · 03/04/2026 20:49

Yes. And a the long Easter Weekend should present some ‘natural’ opportunities.

Original poster
Imowningup · 03/04/2026 20:48

sunshine244 · 03/04/2026 20:23

Has he got many friends?

I'm definitely the more social and have a wide circle of friends who are pivotal in my life.

OP posts:
Childanddogmama · 03/04/2026 20:28

It sounds like he hasn't met your family and friends? He could be wondering why he hasn't met yours!!
6 months is an great time to start meeting people so why not take the lead and he will probably follow.

sunshine244 · 03/04/2026 20:23

Has he got many friends?

Isit2026yet · 03/04/2026 20:22

@Imowningup not weird at allk

Belleends · 03/04/2026 20:20

Has he met your friends and family? And you have not suggested it.

Is he very close to his ex?

MauriceTheMussel · 03/04/2026 20:20

That is a bit weird tbh. I met more of DH’s friends in the first 6 months and that was in a lockdown.

Why don’t you just flat out ask him why you haven’t met his friends?

Belleends · 03/04/2026 20:17

It’s totally normal if you are not sure about someone and don’t see a future with that persons

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